My Language: Thoughts from Josh Brown of Day of Fire

Written by Josh Brown
January 2008 devotional for HM Magazine.com

Happy New Year! Over the holiday I was fortunate to spend time with my Dad. He shared this word with me. I want to share it with you.

MY FIVE (5) EPIPHANIES OF LIFE
(All learned after the age of 50)
David T. Brown
New Ulm, TX

Recently a friend asked me about my life and changes in my life he had observed since we met seven years ago. Sensing that the Lord was providing me an unusual opportunity to share some hard-learned truths, I outlined what I call my FIVE EPHIPANIES OF LIFE. As you will see, there are actually six. Even as I pen these thoughts I am aware that there are those that will scoff. Be that as it may, the truth by definition is unaffected by opinion or perception and is available to all those willing to receive it.

1. In 1999 (approx) I determined I was no longer willing to continue to live the way I was living. A LIFE STYLE change was required. The EPIPHANY: If you don't want to look, act, smell and be counted with the pigs, get out of the pigpen. When I finally 'came' to myself, the lifestyle changes I made were accomplished by changing environment, companionship and just saying NO. Though difficult at times, the process was relatively simple and forthright. It was the hidden but subtle attitudes of bitterness, anger, resentment, un-forgiveness, even guilt that were, and to some extent, still are the most difficult to deal with.

2. Just because one chooses to leave the pigpen does not mean he is automatically clean. A thorough scrubbing is required. The process takes unwavering commitment, time and clear vision. For the first time in my life I took off the mask and peered in the mirror at the real me. The view was startling, very revealing and NOT a pretty sight. The EPIPHANY: To really experience change, one must be brutally honest with oneself; no mask, no pretenses. We must see ourselves as we really are, as other people really see us and most importantly, how God sees. From my view point, if one is not shocked by what one sees, one may not be looking close enough.

3. Epiphany number three was almost as shocking as number two. THE EPIPHANY: Once they know you have been in the pigpen, someone, somewhere, will always think you still smell like a pig, no matter how much you scrub. Strangely, my biggest detractors have been people I thought would be my friends through thick & thin and family. Some hard-road life experience and a life time of observation have taught me that many times, once one has removed his stench from their presence, they are left with their own stink to contend with and they bitterly resent it. (See Luke 15:25-30). The very people one would think would be the most joyous of one's redemption are often the first and the worst to condemn. (To be fair to my detractors, some of them may have been the ones most hurt and disappointed by my failures.) Those that celebrate with me are those that truly love me or those that have also experienced the journey between the pigpen and the palace.

4. Epiphany number 4 is built on the foundation of the first three and may be the most profound and significant. THE EPIPHANY: Good, bad, or ugly, whether there are failures or successes, whether they love me or hate me, there is absolutely nothing I can do about the past. I can apologize and ask for forgiveness from those who have suffered hurt or disappointment from my failures. I can pray the Lord will relieve their pain and resentment. What I cannot do is change the fact that they have occurred. By the same token, past accomplishments provide no assurances of future successes. They are as much in the past as failures. In the world we live in today, we can all be gone in a flash. We all live, literally, one heartbeat away from eternity. All any of us have is today understanding that tomorrow may never come. All I can do today is my best to make this day the best it can be; to diligently face the mirror each morning unmasked and not allow the challenges of yesterday effect the outcome of today. Sounds like a noble endeavor doesn't it? I wish I could say I was always successful at it. However, it would be enormously disingenuous to imply that yesterday does not bleed into today and that I am unaffected by the past. What I am saying is that I am learning that success today requires the same diligence, commitment, determination and vigilance that was required of yesterday. Many times I fail miserably, being cursed with a fatal flaw, I'm human. Thus, the unimaginable, unfathomable, unwarranted and boundless love, grace and mercy of God through Christ is required daily. To paraphrase the Apostle Paul "I'm not saying I've arrived. I'm saying I'm leaving the past behind and moving forward to a higher calling." Whether I succeed today or fail miserably, I know this one thing. Today, I am one step farther away from the pigpen and one step closer to the palace.

5. Epiphany number five really isn't an epiphany at all but rather something I have been learning through this entire journey. THE EPIPHANY: The truth of God's word. Each morning when I awake to the sunshine of my wife's smile, the beauty of our home and the love of our little family of animals, I am reminded of Romans 8:28 "For we know all things work together to good to those that love the Lord, to those that are called according to His purpose." There were times when I was so far from the Lord and the way I was raised, so buffeted and filthy from my sin, my heart bleeding from self-inflicted wounds, the only verse I could think of was Romans 8:28. It was like a flicker of light in the darkness of my wilderness. At times, when I was on the verge of total hopelessness and despair, it was like the glow of a tiny ember of a fire on a distant hill. Not a beacon, but more like a memory, yet ever -glowing just the same. Daily I'm reminded of the power of God's Word and His promises. As I consider my unquestionable unworthiness, the truth of His Word is reconfirmed each time He gives me the opportunity to share my story with someone else.

There is one other verse that should be mentioned. Proverbs, "Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from the way." Thanks to Mom and Dad for exposing me to the Lord and by being role models when I was growing up. Even though I did not gain a personal knowledge of God until I was much older, they provided me a God awareness eventually leading to my salvation. EPIPHANY SIX: Parents are people, just farther down the road than their offspring. They are afflicted by the same fatal flaw as their children. They are human. Now that I am old, a son, a father and a grandfather, I forgive my parents their shortcomings as I pray they forgive me of mine and I am hopeful my children will also realize the truth of Epiphany Six.
-Dave Brown

Previous devotionals:
January 2007
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December

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