Bleach Sets Sail
[Bill Purdy interviews Bleach guitarist Milam Byers]
INTRO
It’s been quite a year for the members of Bleach. These purveyors of fuzz pop anthems have seen highs and lows over the last 12 months that most bands would not see in 12 years. The release of the mood—swinging yet mature work “Astronomy (Legacy of a Hero)” on Tooth and Nail set the bar higher than the band’s previous four albums. Yet as guitarist Milam Byers relates in the following interview, working on the music was a mysterious process. Mystery gave way to tragedy on July 23rd, 2003 when Milam’s brother Captain Josh Byers was killed in his military service in Iraq. The year was filled with struggle to comprehend this tragedy and mourn the personal loss even while playing rock and roll on a relentless schedule. Milam’s story is a testimony to the grace of God, which not only helped to get him through this time, but also helped to press the music on to completion and for the ministry of the band. After many years on the road, Bleach is “Moving On.” If this last year is any indication, the grace of God will move on with them through anything.
“Add it up on a list so long
Of all the things that have gone wrong
You’ve been pressed on every side
But never crushed you will survive”
“A feather falls and lands so perfectly
Remember that you’re underneath the wing”
(from Astronomy’s “Plan to Pull Through")
TOUR
I understand that you are going to mix in more fan favorites from the past as your farewell tour gets underway. And that you have been getting input from fans as to what specific songs you should include.
We’re trying to bring back some of the older songs that like some of the fans have been asking for. We’ve kinda already been burnt out on them but now it’s cool; we can stand to play them again. We’re trying to bring back some of those songs that people keep saying, ya know, “please play this song” from one of the older albums that we kinda stayed away from intentionally for a couple of years.
You weren’t around for the band’s first two albums — did you shoot for a new sound or a new feel when practicing those songs?
Yeah we intentionally did not go back to those records. I’m not familiar with any of those old songs, like if and when I heard them I heard them five years ago and I don’t even know them now. So we kinda took the approach “let’s not even listen to them,” we intentionally didn’t listen to them. We didn’t even reference the records. We kind of made them our own.
Bleach has a loyal fan following. You have a strong sense of connection with fans — fans seem to relate to Bleach in a passionate way. What do you attribute it to?
I don’t know. We’ve always tried to make it not like we’re the band and their the fans, but just like we’re just all friends and we can just like hang out and we’re lucky we can travel full time and meet new people all the time. Over the years we really do meet some cool people and we keep in touch with a lot of those people. We roll into a town or into a certain area like we just know like “such and such a person will be here tonight for sure.” That’s my connection; I love that.
Final Tour?
Coming up in August.
So this tour is —
This is like everything’s building up to it. But the actual farewell tour like “this is the last time you’ll ever see us” is in August.
Is there a sense of finality or anticipation as you go through the touring schedule?
I’m looking forward to it. I’m just kinda — I’m always looking for a break from the road and just from being in a band in the things that you deal with when you’re traveling.
Do some of you like the road more than others?
Well, uh, four of us are married so I would say Jared (bass player) being single probably likes it the most, but it just is really hard to do (when married) and that’s the reason we’re not gonna do it—at least … the way we are now.
Who’s the best driver and who’s the worst driver?
Um, I don’t know who the best is, but I’d say that Davy would be the worst — he’s actually gotten better than when I first joined the band.
He gets distracted?
He’s very easily distracted. He scares me alot. He scares me alot.
What kind of road food do you live on?
Oh gosh, crap, junk. Our survival right now are Red Bulls or anything close to it that’s good to drink. That keeps us going through the night or whoever’s driving. Anything we can get — we’ll try anything once (laughs).
Southern food?
Oh yeah, I’m definitely a connoisseur of Southern food, yeah, I think we all are.
What do you miss as you are driving around the North?
The thing I miss the most and is definitely not available is sweet tea. I know it’s not a food but I love it.
LOVE AND LONGING, CONFLICT AND CALLING (LIFE ON THE ROAD)
You guys have written a number of songs about longing for home, your loved ones and all the while being on the road knowing that you’re called to share the hope and joy of knowing Christ and the fulfillment of living out a God—given dream. You want to talk about the tension between those two things?
I’m not really sure I understand how those things work together. Especially now being married because in so many ways our lives are so dysfunctional ya know like I don’t think that God intended me to get married and then to be away from my wife for several months at a time. But at the same time, I believe that He has called me to use my gift. The only thing that makes sense is that He has given me grace to complete what He has set forth. He’s given my wife and me grace to get through it. It’s not always easy; it’s not always a blast. You don’t have good days all the time. I guess it’s just getting through it. I don’t know how I could do it if it really wasn’t a ministry. If it was just rock—n—roll and smoky bars, I would have gone home about six years ago. I think He’s called me to use my gift. And when I wonder sometimes — God just makes it apparent to me somehow. Every time we kind of second—guess our music somebody will just come up to us and say something, or we’ll get a letter. He’ll just show Himself in a way that makes our calling apparent to us.
Doesn’t life seem so filled with contradiction — here you have two wonderful things (family and ministry) that are so contradictory in practice.
Yeah they really are. It is hard to understand—I’m not so sure that I do. But that is what the song on the new record December is about —
Yeah, I was just going to bring that song up.
Somebody just coming up at just the right time and saying, “Hey, your music has really blessed my life” or, “You’ve really helped me through this.” We don’t know how those things work but it’s always an encouragement to hear. I mean some people are like “I know that this may sound cheesy but this song meant this to me” or whatever, but it always means the world to us that God could use us at all you know?
Isn’t that cool?
Yeah it’s amazing. But God has used other people in my life that way,
you know like music speaks to me — that’s why it’s so dear to me.
Name some names — who are you listening to now?
Right now a band called Sleeping At Last from Chicago. And another band called Copeland, and a guy whose record isn’t out yet but I fortunately have one of his demos — his name is John Davis. Those three and lately the new Delirious album.
FINAL SHOW
Nashville the final show, will their be surprises at this extravaganza?
Yeah, maybe!
Are you going to go out with a bang or go quietly into the night? I think I know but maybe I should give you a chance to tip your hat to your plans.
We don’t have any plans as of yet. We have some ideas. We’ll see if they come to fruition. We really don’t have a date on it really. The tour ends and then we talked about maybe doing it a week after the tour give everybody a chance to —
I mean it’s gotta end some time doesn’t it?
Yeah, exactly.
FINAL ALBUM TO BE RELEASED
You have a new album in the works after the tour is that right?
Yeah we were just talking about it. Dave, the singer, came up to me um, the two of us are pretty much the lyric writers of the band. We just kind of throw around ideas about what maybe we want to write about on this last album. Yeah we all individually have some ideas. We’ve worked a couple of days on it, like throwing some ideas into the pot.
You don’t write much on the road as a band do you?
Some, not really a lot. I personally don’t like writing on the road.
Do you see any emerging themes or approaches that you want to use as it is the final studio outing for the band?
I think it is definitely going to be different — I think there is a lot more freedom than what this record could be because there is just no thought of, “Oh gosh, how are we going to play this live?” or, “Can we reproduce this?”
How do you think it will work as a follow up to Astronomy?
I think the tone of it will probably be pretty serious — that’s just my thinking on it right now, way early on because Astronomy was a darker record, definitely a more serious album — there definitely are some fun rock songs on there but the overall tone of it will definitely be more serious. I kind of see ourselves going that way.
Now that you say that, it seems that with Astronomy there was a variety on that album so that even as it reflects the dark circumstances in your life, it still seems to suggest that there are various avenues of grace. The variety of songs and their tonalities reflect this.
We were actually really worried that it was, well, too different. But I think that is what made it what it is at the same time.
You’ve always had electronic elements in the music. Do you have any plans on furthering that on the next album — especially without the constraint of needing to reproduce the sounds live?
Yeah I think we probably will explore some different stuff. I think we’re going to try to really push ourselves and not just be like “we’re a band with two rock guitars.”
You always have these extra little flourishes of electronic. They’re kitsch but they’re cool — you know what I mean? It’s a good balance.
Yeah!
MOURNING, MEMORY AND MOVING ON
“Hey Josh, how’s the service?
All this talk of war makes me nervous”
(From Again, For the First Time, “Andy’s Doin’ Time”)
“All I know
Is that this falling star will die
For a moment light the sky
And lead me home
I don’t know
Why this task has been so hard
We’ve spent our time apart
But not alone
This is what I have been given
I hope that you can
Understand there are reasons beyond ours
The creator holds the stars up in the sky
But you are by far the bright and shining star
In the sky tonight.”
(From title cut of Astronomy)
Can we talk about the meaning behind “Legacy of A Hero” with you? Can I discuss your brother Josh — would that be alright?
(nods)
I first would like to bring to mind the picture of your brother having painted the word “Bleach” over—
—Oh yeah, over Saddam—
—plastered over a large picture of Saddam over the face of Saddam. It must have been a great joy for your brother, as a tribute to you guys, as a testimony of God’s faithfulness and of the downfall of an evil dictator.
Yeah!
What was your reaction when you first saw that picture?
Oh I was excited! He sent us those pictures before — about a month before he was killed. We were just really excited. We thought it was the coolest thing we had ever seen. We actually got them when we were recording the record. And immediately we were like “this has just got to be on the record, this is gonna have to be part of the artwork” and so, uh I don’t know, it’s just crazy that he thought of that. The funny thing is — I found out since then — as soon as he got there, he spoke to his soldiers and said, “Before I leave here, there is this one thing that I just have to do.” He was planning this forever but he just found the right mural I guess and the right time to do it. Yeah — he was excited about it.
That is cool!
That’s just how he was.
It’s almost like, from my point of view, that that picture represents “a conflict of kingdoms,” you know what I mean?
Um hmm.
Your brother represents the U.S. in battle and the valiant struggle for freedom, especially; at least, that’s how your brother would present it.
Oh yeah, definitely.
“Bleach” in the picture also represents what the meaning behind the band name is — your talking about the light of Jesus and how He can cleanse sin — and there it is over the face of an evil dictator. That’s the impression I have of it and I think it’s really astounding.
Yeah!
You guys have mentioned that the songs that were written on the Astronomy album were extraordinarily fitting as a testimony and a comfort to you guys after your brother, Captain Josh, death even though they were written within weeks of his death.
Right, right. Yeah the record was finished. It was already mixed.
Oh was it? I didn’t know it was completed. I find some lyrics unavoidable to consider apart from that fact (of Captain Josh’s death). Themes such as living life to the full, sacrifice for what you believe in, longing for return, the upward call of Christ — those themes are all in Astronomy and it seems so fitting concerning what happened.
Yeah!
Your brother, you testify to the life he’s lived and the impact he still has over there and in your hometown, etc. For instance, one line on the album, “Don’t get jaded now, your still alive” – the album’s filled with examples. I don’t want to overstate it, but do you think that there was a certain prophetic anointing in this?
I do. I certainly don’t pass things off like that as just coincidence. We even, in the midst of recording those songs were like, “Why are we writing songs like this?!” Cause you know it doesn’t really make sense. We couldn’t put our finger on it like, “What are we doing writing this?” We just kind of … kept going, just kind of kept on believing in it. But we really weren’t sure why the songs were turning out the way they were. But it was — really was apparent after we heard the news.
(Singer Dave Baysinger comes walking through, smiles beatifically, grabs his Doctor Pepper and continues to the other door.)
Can you share some the specifics? What were the nuances? Were there certain songs that ministered to you —did they make you do a double take?
Yeah they really did. It was kind of weird because it wasn’t something that followed immediately after. It took a couple of days; we kind of stood back and then, “Wow!”
What ministered to you? What brought comfort to you?
I think songs like “Jaded Now” still really fit so well just with everything that we feel on a day to day basis.
“So, don’t get jaded now
the sun will rise
don’t get jaded now
we will survive
don’t get jaded now
we’re still alive.
I will make it through.”
(From Astronomy’s “Don’t Get Jaded Now”)
As the saying goes, that song “puts things in perspective.”
...just how God takes care of us. Also, you know, I wrote a song “Tired Heart” for Josh before he was killed — cause I heard the things that were going on in places he would find himself with bullets flying past his head. Those are things he didn’t want us to know because he never wanted us to worry about him. It really just struck me. I was like, “God, what does he need to hear?”— we have it so easy, we can just lay down in bed at night, not having to worry about somebody killing us.
I’ve been shot before so I know about that.
Wow!
God used that experience powerfully in my life. I was saved some time after.
Wow.
I know that God can use those things in our life and He will.
Yeah.
I find that we can get hung up on the question of, “Why did this happen?” and though that is a valid question, it can keep us from where God will lead us — to receive His comfort and then be able to be a minister of comfort having received the comfort. That gives us purpose and meaning in our life even after such a thing has happened. Because God has given us comfort so that we can get through these things, we then have the opportunity and privilege to minister to others who are hurting after we have received God’s comfort. Do you sense that God is offering that comfort to you? It’s a way of going on. God brings that opportunity. God brings that comfort.
Yeah, He already has. It’s just amazing how—just how you know like—there’s really no better witness of God than to see Him active in your life. Kids who over the years got to know Jerod and I, they really feel like they’re part of the family. They really feel part of something. So hearing this news, they feel that they have lost him too. You know Josh was an active part of Bleach. People knew about Josh, he wasn’t just like some distant relative that nobody ever heard about. I think that just letting people see that God is faithful — that His grace is sufficient, even when things are so grave and so awful. Just the fact that He gives me the grace every night to go out and play these songs and play guitar. At first, I didn’t know if I could ever do it again, to be honest with you; it just hurt too much. I didn’t feel like it — playing rock music. I didn’t feel like playing those songs — they’re just too close to it.
“Bring it back just one more time
I hope that you might find
A way to see more clearly now.”
from Astronomy’s “Get Up”
There’s the double edge sword — Bleach has grown up in public. Your music has been very transparent. The double edge sword — God’s gonna use you greatly because of your transparency but at other times it’s like Jeremiah, the crying prophet “Why?! Why must I endure this?” But back to that “why” question — there’s always going to be things beyond our understanding, but we know that God is going to do a new work through — as Christians that our suffering isn’t in vain, you know?
Yeah.
Even in the last song on the album which ends it with a bang “Moving On.”
Yeah!
Even as you are yet mourning — This is my impression: that song takes on the sense of what it says in Ecclesiastes: “There’s a time to mourn, and there’s a time to cease from mourning.” I hear that spirit in that song — that life is precious and there is vitality in moving on.
Yeah!
One last question regarding your loss. There seems to be no more disputed and volatile topic than the Iraq war at this time. The topic is rife with tension. In light of the Biblical principle of “being in the world but not of it” — where do you draw the line between patriotism and the need to step back and keep the higher call of the gospel sanctified from the malaise of this controversy? Have you found it to be challenging?
Yeah it is. I really hate this. I don’t even like to hear people debate it. Like if I see a headline in the paper, or on the Internet or somewhere I don’t even want to hear about it. I don’t care what John Kerry thinks; I don’t care what CNN thinks. I don’t know — I’ve just tried to stay away from it. Because it’s an awful thing — war is an awful thing. It took — it ripped a great deal away from me. I don’t think that anyone supports war. The media makes you believe that the President does — I don’t think anybody does — it’s just awful. That’s why I don’t like to hear about it — because they are making it something that I don’t believe it is. I’m not saying that everybody’s innocent. I’m not saying that there aren’t people who have political motives and all that. I’m sure there are — there are bad people everywhere, American or not. But I know what he was there for, and I know what he accomplished and the media needs to focus more on what’s being accomplished than all the negative stuff that’s going on, because we have accomplished a lot. Women were never allowed to even get an education in Iraq until about six months ago. Girls went to school for the very first time in the history of that country. There’s tons of stuff like that happening — but you won’t hear that anywhere, you won’t hear that happening.
You know sometimes it brings me comfort to realize that God sees in secret — that is, even if no one else appreciates what good work you are able to accomplish by God’s grace, that He sees it perfectly and that He is pleased by that faith — and that is the ultimate aim of life from a Christian perspective — to please God.
FINAL THOUGHTS, NEW PLANS
What have you learned over the years touring with Bleach?
He always takes care of us. He always takes care of us.
Is there life after Bleach?
Yeah, Jerod and I have actually starting to write songs for a new band that right now is called Survival Car. I’m really excited about the music that’s coming out already. We’re going to start demoing this summer working with a couple of other guys — so we’ll see what happens as far as musically. And then I just have a great desire to write more and to stay really involved with music you know maybe working with younger bands, maybe working for a record label to see what it’s like on the other side.
A live DVD coming up — I’m excited.
Trying to piece some stuff together. We have tons of footage. And most of it is just off stage banter — it’s us just being crazy, having fun. I don’t know — when I get a band’s DVD; I wanna see everything — I wanna see them riding in the van or the bus, just a lot of that sort of thing, so we’ll see how it turns out. We’ve been wanting to do something like that for a while. What better time than now, right?
Hey, it’s been a pleasure.
Thank you.
I appreciate your ministry and I appreciate your overcoming spirit. Have a good time on stage tonight.
Thanks.
You guys have been a blessing.
Thanks.
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Comments
That was an awsome interview. I love Bleach very much, though I'm pretty new to their music. I'm one of those who has truely been touched by their music. Astronomy, I don't know what to say, it just expresses so much of what i've been feeling.I just wish that i could have found them sooner and perhaps gone to one of their shows, but by the time i found them they were long gone on the east coast.i just feel so blessed to have ever heard them.
hey..... now that everything is over, you guys need to do another interview with bleach. these guys are the epitome of it - they don't sell out to what everybody else is doin. they don't trade "ministering in different places" for preachin JESUS.... these fellas are phenomenal. and they are honest and fun. do another article for next issue! grace and peace
jim.thompson
ax.20.24
Great interview!!!!
only the bassist is Jerry
i really admire milam and the rest of the bleach guys cause they are such a Godly example of musicians, and they are really cool too!
I saw these guys while livin in Albq. N.M and i'm now back in Ventura, Ca. where there is almost no Christian music scene, I gave away my cd to bless another Christian and after reading this interview i'm definitley getting another. I lost a brother two years ago so my thoughts an prays go out to them.
I know you'll all think I'm a nerd for writing this, but Milam's brother's name isn't "Jerod," it's "Jared" :)
