Doug Van Pelt

My mind is on vacation...

...and so is my body.

It feels so good.
My dad's celebrating his 70th birthday and my mom has rented a beach house for us to stay in. My sisters are here, along with many of their children -- both grown and young; as well as my dad's three brothers. One of my cousins is here, which is sweet, because she loves hanging out with this part of the family. We've had awesome meals together and lots of fun. It's great sitting around my dad and his brothers -- listening to them re-tell stories. My neice's husband just returned from his second tour of duty in Iraq, and it's so cool to hear him talk about the comradery he experienced and the pleasure he took in his job.

It's different not to work for a week, but it's so refreshing to just let it go and rest. I'm not sure I do a good job of practicing and celebrating the Sabbath in my life on a regular basis. I think I probably do alright, as there's many a Sunday that I'm totally kicking back most all of the day. I don't claim to understand all the purposes of God's Sabbath, but it seems obvious that God has designed us with a need to be energized. We have incredible potential to go and go and push and push to accomplish great things, but resting on a regular basis is a command that he seemed to take really seriously.

ENTRY#17: A Search for Significance

McManus has a conversation on stage with Elvis in this entry. He asks the King of Rock and Roll if he's ever felt insignificant. Mr. Presley thinks for a while and then mentions that he has felt that way. When asked how he got through those times, he confesses that it was the encouragement of those around him that helped him.

McManus then brags that he sometimes counsels people and he offers the advice that this moment of confession about feeling insiginificant sometimes is actually his most honest moment, because that's exactly what he is. Elvis is nothing but a bug waiting to hit a windshield. Just an evolutionary blip in time. Any adulation or imposed significance given him by his fans was just a community-felt delusion. That we're all just an insignificant accident waiting to die and be done with.

He asks Elvis how he's feeling after this bit of "counseling" and the King answers, "Not good." But McManus puts a period to the end of the conversation with:

"Oh, by the way, everything I just said is absolutely true if there is no God." The last two sentences of the entry expound on that thought:

Maybe you can't prove God in a tube, but you can find him in your soul. When he's missing, you can feel it in your gut.

I like that. Once again, he's used our innate need for significance, of destiny to show evidence for the existence of God. Our heavenly Father is real and He's created us with longings, dreams, and achings for something more than the temporal and fleeting.

Today is the first day...

...that the HM Ranch could truly be called "a ranch." When I pulled up in the rain this morning, I saw cows in my driveway. Fortunately, they were far enough away (and kinda spooked by my presence, so they were creeping away) from the gate so that I could drive in and not worry about them making a break for the gate as I passed. Seems my electric fence is too high or it wasn't working or something ... cuz they're supposed to be on the other 9.85 acres instead of the office building yard. Fed Ex made a delivery while I was gone on Friday. I wonder if they dealt with the cattle, or if they came over from the neighbors on Saturday.

Our newest neighbors have cattle on their land and they asked us if we'd let them graze on our land (after they'd eaten a bunch of their grass). I built an electric fence (which keeps Douglas the jackass away from the office, too) to accomodate. I've been waiting for this eventful day for awhile.

Biscuit, our dog, who normally comes right inside with me when I bring him to the office, did not want to come in. He's got that herding instinct inside him (since he's a Shelty -- a Shetland Sheepdog) and he was participating in some sort of herding mission for a good hour this morning. Lots of fun.

This might shock you...

...but
I went to see the Newsboys on Saturday night. Now, I haven't been a fan of this band. I've considered them to be pretty good at pop music, but being on the left side of rock had me ignore them for the most part. Normally, I wouldn't have been interested in going to one of their concerts. I know that they've done some fun things with their drumsets over the years, but I've never gone to one of their shows -- at least for as long as I can remember. The thing about this show, though, was that it was taking place in the Frank Erwin Special Events Center. That's the big arena at the University of Texas. The place where I've seen U2, Tom Petty, Bob Dylan, Van Halen, ZZ Top, Scorpions, Robert Plant, Heart, Amy Grant, the rodeo, Ringling Bros. & Barnum and Bailey's circus (with Klank working on the crew), and dozens of other big-name acts. I just had to check this out and see how it'd go over.

A brand new band called New World Son opened this leg of the tour (I guess Stellar Kart was the opening act for the spring leg), but we were running late and arrived just in time to see Kutless play. They had the crowd responding very well, moving around and singing along to their worship songs, "Strong Tower" and "Better Is One Day." Their two guitar players did a good job of controlling tones and little accenting notes to decorate the rhythm playing of the other. They did pretty good. Frontman Jon Micah Sumrall did a smooth job talking with the crowd.

The Newsboys started off their set with "Shine," which I'm thinking is their biggest hit and strongest song ever. Their keyboardist handled all the "bass" duties, hitting keys or launching recordings that they stay on track with click-tracks. To the surprise (and even dismay) of HM's more critically astute readers, the Newsboys did not suck. In fact, they quite well rocked the place. While the band many times mimicked the great U2 -- both with Paul Coleman's chiming guitar picking and frontman Peter Furler's catwalking and "dance like David danced" movements -- they did what no one else is really doing and captured some of the "feel" and modern day rock star vibe of the Irish supergroup.

Near the end of the set -- after an "old school Newboys" mini-set with keys and guitar at the end of the catwalk -- Furler strummed his guitar, shared his testimony and prayed the sinner's prayer after a gentle but persuasive talk about walking with God. It was sweet to see this happen (probably for the first time) in this storied arena. For an encore they busted out a dueling drum solo -- with Furler on a standing kit at the end of the catwalk. Both drums were hydraulically lifted up in the air. Duncan Phillips' round drum riser tilted sideways and spun the seatbelted drummer quite fast at different angles from vertical back to horizontal and then down. Furler's riser went straight up, too. It was a display of good showmanship.

ENTRY #16: A Crisis of Success

McManus does a great job of distilling the Proverbs: "...without a vision the people perish" and "...hope deferred makes a heart sick..." He says:

"He seems to be telling us that we need to have a dream we are pursuing and at the same time experience enough of that dream to keep us inspired. We need both to aspire and accomplish. Without a vision for your life, without a sense of purpose, you will begin to die a slow death."

He brings up the almost equal portions necessary to live -- vision and hope. One is kind of a starting off point and the other is a sustaining part of that. I like to think of another ingredient that supports another one of those, and that's encouragement. I think encouragement is like food or fuel to/for the creative person. Encouragement is not always positive praise. Sometimes constructive criticism can be an encouragement. When we need to improve, having direction with which to do so can be a tremendous encouragement.

Another thing the author brings up in this entry is a modern day phenomenon we call "the midlife crisis." It's where someone reaches the age of about 40 and realizes that they've either given everything to reach their goals and dreams and assumes that they're not going to make them. Or maybe it's someone that has seen their dreams come true but comes to find out they are not fulfilled by them. I think another scenerio he didn't talk about is someone that gave up on their dreams and they look back during their middle age years and realize that they shouldn't have done that and they think that perhaps it is too late. Or, humorously enough for the rest of us on the outside, they pursue their goal with a blind disregard for their inability to attain it. I think of the washed-up athlete trying to make a comeback or a superstar in his own mind who can't carry a tune or sing in key.

I wonder what a list of dreams and goals would look like...?

you are the eggs, i feel like toast

wow, i must've slept well last night, cuz i felt like a rock when i got up. it was trash day and i hadn't set the recycle bin or trash can out yet, so i had to hit the ground running (and dragging large pieces of carpet to the curb).

ENTRY #15: A Reason To Live

Here is the first sentence of this entry:

"Viktor Frankl discovered that strength is unleashed within us when we are convinced our lives have a purpose yet to be fulfilled."

One thing I wanted to bring up earlier, but decided not to out of deference to the moment was another football-relates-to-life paradigm about goal line stands. I remember hearing our defensive coordinator scream at us from the sidelines to "suck it up." Standing there with the end zone behind you and 11 guys breaking a huddle and headed your way with the intention of knocking you down is a moment that's hard to forget. Fortunately, our defense at Desert High School was able to make a few (perhaps several ... it's hard to trust your memory when that many years pass by) of these. It's quite a character building experience, if you can believe that. It's certainly ripe for lessons. When "your backs are against the wall," that's when you have to fight. You have to muster all the strength you can, knowing that there's not any flex-room to move backwards (or you lose). Experiencing our first one as a team of sophomores on the JV squad probably helped us later as seniors know that we could do this. There's nothing like survival (even in a competitive sport/game) that brings out your best.

Anyway, back to Frankl...
McManus tells a nicer non-football story about not accepting defeat. He knew a 22-year old that went to Aceh to help others. Soon after arriving, he was bitten by a mosquito and was on his back in the hospital, fighting for his life. It's true, it would have been easy for him to quickly take the next flight back to Laguna Beach, California. Mosquitos or bikinis? But he had a purpose. He didn't give up so easy on that thing, nor did he quit fighting the disease. This determination to get back on his feet (and get back to helping) was probably the motivating strength that sped healing to the cells in his body. I have no idea how that stuff works, but determination ("sucking it up," as coach Lyman Olney would yell) does something -- at least mentally (but probably physically, too). This 22-year old, Peter, later saved a couple kids. Days before he saved a man. This guy must've been a good swimmer. It can be said of him that if he had died of that disease, these three other people would have died. He wouldn't have been there to rescue them and they would have died. His life counts for something. That's a cool story.

it's only wednesday, but I've got the Friday Shydee

I like what Bob "French" Lefsetz said today:

"They call this the music business. It's not the agent business. Or the manager business. And although radio and television can help, it's really all about listening. By ourselves."

There are so many albums that I know by heart. I will start to hum the next song when the one before it has not even finished fading out. These times of listening were done alone. Later the music was enjoyed together, but it's those alone time listens where you almost "bond" with an album. I mean, you DO bond with it, but it's not the same as a flesh and blood relationship. It's artificial. It's man and machine, but it's still real. It's just a modern version of the expression of music.

When Led Zeppelin put 8 songs on the un-labelled IV album, they all took up the space quite nicely. There wasn't a throw-away song on there. Some may argue that the partly-instrumental "Four Sticks" was a throw-away track, but those that know the song can probably hear it richocheting around in their mind right now. It's a drag when an album has 13 tracks and some of them are forgettable. Sometimes it's fun to hear the artist indulge themselves. Some of the tracks at the end of The Fundamental Elements of Southtown seem kind of self-indulgent and less than par (maybe "Image" and that hidden bonus track), but they do have a vibe. And that's cool. I had to pop in Fundamental just now and check it out. Man, that album still stands the test of time. Good stuff! I hate to complain about it! I hear this Bob guy complain about music today being temporal and shallow, but I can think of a lot of albums he's not talking about -- like Age of Reptiles by Showbread or the self-titled Mute Math album. There is a lot of great music out right now.

I just got up to get some coffee and noticed a Fed Ex European-styled van backing away down County Road 423 like a sneaky teenager trying to creep away from an act of vandalism. For some reason, they don't want to open the gate, drive in and knock on the door. They put the envelope or package in a plastic bag, tie it in a knot over the gate, and leave. Inside was a very special package though -- 4 copies of the new (Nov/Dec issue of HM). Wow! It looks great! The black ink is really dense and dark. I like that! Even the "glitch" I recently noticed in a PDF of the cover looks like it was repaired. (There is a black image box on the cover that's not as black as the surrounding black, but it all looks black in the final product. I'm so relieved.)

A recent Kid Rock quote about his new album, Rock & Roll Jesus, landing at #1 on the Billboard charts its first week out: "...And to everyone else, welcome to Haterville, population YOU."

I used to think I was cool...

...and that all Van Pelt's were cool, but my namesake, Scott Van Pelt, an anchor on ESPN (a cool job, no doubt) starred in a recent commercial (that is hilarious) that blows all that coolness out of the water. In the spot he's walking down the hallway after a long, hard day's work (how hard can reporting sports "news" be? haha) and he hears a commotion going on behind a closed door. He opens it up to reveal a full-on party happening. Dallas Cowboy quarterback Tony Romo is sitting there, flanked by a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader and lots of other young, hip people dancing and having a good time. Well, the party stops as Scott VP announces that he's leaving for the day. Tony just stares at him, like he's waiting and biting his tongue for Mr Squarepants to shut the door and leave. Scott Van Pelt has that look on his face like he's begging to ask, "Could I come in an party with you guys?" But Tony's deadpan look tells him otherwise. Romo's been starring in another commercial where he's manning a desk, taking calls and using his playbook wristband to dish out information to folks.

I find the whole commercial hilarious. Here's a cool QB being interrupted by a total nerd that wants to be accepted and the football star politely smiles and patiently waits for him to get the hint and leave. As he heads back out and starts to pass a window for one last look at the raging party, someone gently slides the blinds down. So funny.

PS Every magazine editor should spend some time filling out envelopes or such things for his subscribers. It's cool how it sorta "puts me in touch" with the people that read HM. As I read their names and addresses (and write them on an envelope for the free download card they're getting for subscribing) it sorta personalizes the whole process for me. That's kinda cool. My finger gets tired from writing so much, though.

What you say is EVERYTHING

I went to a doctor recently... Actually, it was over a month ago. I've been having some aches and pains and knots and tightening of the muscles in my back, shoulder, neck, and knee. I have a theory about doctors, and I was very aware of this theory when I made the visit. Here's my theory:

Without testing, a doctor's primary prognosis is going to be based upon what you tell him/her. This makes me leary and careful. If I tell the doc the wrong thing, then I might not get the help I need. That's kind of what happened to me. I feel like I didn't get very good treatment, etc. With the right tests, a prognosis can be found. But without testing, they will go by touch and sound. They might touch your knee or feel the muscles in your neck or ask you to stretch or move in a certain way; but it's how you describe your symptoms that is almost the most important thing.

That's the first thing I try to do: stick to the symptoms. I try to avoid my own prognosis. For example, I don't try to say, "I think it's the this, Doc." Determining what's wrong is his/her job, not mine. I try to stick to describing what hurts and/or answering their questions directly. If you think about it, that's a lot of pressure! One example might be the question: "Would you describe the pain as sharp and stabbing? Or throbbing?" If you answer that wrong, you might get the wrong "prescription." Sometimes I get confused and/or am not sure how to answer questions like that.

Entry #14: On Becoming Human
McManus touches on humanity here. It's a good chapter. A friend of his that makes films showed him his latest one time. Two angels were discussing good and evil. One took the "good" path and remained an angel. The other took the "bad" or "dark" path and was punished -- this angel had to become a human. Wow. While the Bible does say that "all have sinned" and that none of us can say we are "without sin," it does not instruct us to hate ourselves. In fact, when Jesus says to "love others as you love yourself," it is implied that we already love ourselves, we already know how. I think we do a pretty good job of it. Even those who "hate themselves," supposedly, will act in a way to preserve themself.

I remember a conversation with a friend who was looking for another church to go to. He mentioned how some churches (most, he implied) focus on our identity as sinners. And so very few focus on our identity as saints. I think there should be a balance, just as Scripture gives us a balanced viewpoint.

McManus points out that being a human is not a punishment, but a gift. I think of the passage in Scripture where it says, "Angels long to look into these things." (1 Peter 1:12) I think they are fascinated by us. I think they are fascinated with God's grace. I believe that they don't have the grace we do. We can reject God, deny Him, betray Him, and change our minds and come back to Him and be forgiven. I think that angels, perhaps, are banished from His presence if they choose against Him. I have come to the conclusion that this is why they marvel at us.

We are "trophies of grace!" I can imagine God talking about us like a treasured trophy, very enthusiastic to tell someone how special he or she is to Him. Such a subtle difference. One or two degrees in one direction can lead to false humility and self loathing; and another direction to arrogance, and a flippant 'tude.

Wow, I was searching for the reference about being called "trophies of grace," and I can't find it. I think maybe it was a paragraph heading in the Bible and not an actual verse. I'm reminded of legal contracts I've read, which specifies that certain headings in the contract are not binding and just used to organize the paragraphs of the document. This is kinda like that. I can't build a doctrine around this theme, at least not simply/conveniently. I do enjoy the "journey" of looking stuff up in a Concordance.

ASR: Award Show Regret

I was talking to a friend yesterday, who lamented: "I did it again! I knew better, but did it anyway. I spent the 2-3 hours watching an Awards Show and it was terrible." I think he wants that time back. hehe. He could've taped three episodes of Prison Break and watched them back to back. Talk about good programming...

Lots of rain and lightning today. I might have to turn my computer off for safety today. I just did an interview with a college student, which was perfect timing, since the rain was coming down so hard and limiting my computer work anyway. My internet connection is via a satellite dish, and really bad weather can slow that down a lot. She was doing an interview for a class, which was a project to get her information on the career she was looking into (Journalism). That was cool.

I heard today was some sort of blog day. That we should blog on green. I told my friend that I would pour a quart of oil out on my land today as my green statement. I need to change the oil in my riding lawnmower and don't have a container to pour the old oil into. hmmm...

I was told by another friend/blogger that bloggers everywhere were "supposed" to blog about the new Radiohead album and how they're giving it away. I went to their website and am downloading it now. I bout their last album the week it came out. I like the band and hear that this new one is good. I'm anxious to find out.

I want to blog about Soul Cravings, however, so I'll do that.

The writings of Viktor Frankl supports McManus' discussions on the necessity of hope. Frankl was a Nazi concentration camp survivor:

"...Whenever there was an opportunity for it, one had to give them a why -- an aim -- for their lives in order to strengthen them to bear the terrible how of their existence. Woe to him who saw no more sense in his life, no aim, no purpose, and therefore no point in carrying on. He was soon lost."

A sense of not only hope, but destiny and purpose drives us -- even when we are facing incredibly bad circumstances. It's almost impossible to empathize with an atrocious ordeal. We can pretty much only empathize with things that we've been close to ourselves. The inspiration that we can derive from another's suffering, though, is reflective of the grace that we get all the time. We can learn from another's pain, as well as our own. I hope I can always listen when an important lesson is being taught.

No oil was spilled here today.

Despair's Only Hope

The new episode of the HM Magazine Podcast is great. I'm listening for the second time now. Very fun.

I went to see Norma Jean play at Emo's in Austin last night. A very energetic and fun show.

Okay, McManus is talking more about how -- no matter what you believe or faith you have in spiritual matters -- hope and dreams are necessary for living. He defines despair as "to live apart from hope." A sad place to set up camp and live, for sure...

"I guess if you think about it, if it wasn't for God, we might find ourselves capable of drowning in despair and thinking it was our natural habitat. Instead, we will always be haunted by this soul craving, this seemingly irrational need for hope."

I like the logical point he brings up next (more apologetics/reasoning on the existence of God -- I love this stuff...):

"We should be able to live perfectly well without God and without hope. But neither proves to be the case. Ironically, when we should least believe in even the existence of hope, when we are most consumed with a sense of our insignificance, it is here we will crave it the most. You can't give up on hope and go on with life. Without hope your life may not come to an end, but it does come to a stop."

It's interesting to ponder deeper into something as simple and matter-of-fact as hope. We certainly take it for granted some times, huh?

McManus not happy go lucky guy

Just finished Entry #11 -- Running Out Of Time

He makes some fun comparisons about our need for faith in the future:

"...I think there is way too much evidence that the past and the present exist, even in the present and unhealthy condition. What's startling, though, is that even the most skeptical empiricist would accept and even assume the existence of the future. The future doesn't exist. It's not there yet. It's being created at this very moment. Without any proof, we believe in the future..."

He humorously (intentional or not) talks about how we have precedent (the past), but how stepping into the future is an act of faith and hope.

"...And while you may not believe in anything overtly religious, it takes faith to believe in the future."

He then presses the buttons he's been pushing a lot lately (good buttons), like the questions:

"Why are we most alive when we are pursuing a great dream?
Why is it that we need a reason to live?
Why do we need to feel that we are in some way unique?
Why is it that when we conclude our lives don't matter, we lose the will to live?"

I'm listening to the new Hanson album right now. Some people might assume from that statement that I'm losing my will to live. Ha ha ha. He talks about the brevity of life. In hindsight, it's like a "blink and you're done" kind of thing. He brings up a foreign film he likes -- Chungking Express. A character in it believes that everything has an expiration date, just like milk or something ... including faith, hope and love. We have a Bible verse that says something different (something about those three things remaining), but it's easy to see why someone would conclude that even something like love had an expiration date. Most of us have seen love blow up in our face (or at least have seen it happen to someone we know).

He brings up another guy, who told people "It's all about the dash." He was talking about the dash on your tombstone. Birthdate - Death. That dash is what's in between. That's the important stuff -- what we are doing with this life we've been given. That's a reall good question to motivate us to do something good: "What are we doing with the life we've been given?"

McManus' story about this guy who talked about the dash was sad, though. Chip Anderson. He died fighting cancer. He wanted to live. He had a will to live, but he died. McManus ends the entry with these two sentences:

"He was full of life until his last breath, and we all have a last breath. We're all born with an expiration date."

P.S. I just popped that Emerson Lake & Palmer CD, Brain Salad Surgery, into my computer to rip with iTunes. As I did so, I noticed my iTunes was downloading something. It's the new episode of the HM Magazine Podcast! Hooray!

Compassion Text Links

Starbucks is evil

Just look at the symbol of their logo. That is a symbol of the sea goddess, Calypso. We all know that goddesses are false gods, so right there we are on the plane of idolatry. Calypso used to do business by sea, transporting coffee and other items on ships, enslaving its passengers. See the connection? Coffee and slavery? Starbucks is an abomination. It's causing lots of little ones to stumble. Do you remember where Jesus said it'd be better to go with millstones tied around your neck than make a little one stumble? That's right -- the sea!

See?!? It's all come full circle! From the sea back to the sea. Full on evil. Do away with Starbucks, I say! Do away with it! Or at least do away with narrow-minded, false-footed so called prophetic utterances like this. At worst, at least do away with people like me, who are joking through this entire message.

Do you like the way I've made incredibly illogical and deceptive "connections" to recognizable passages of Scripture and whatnot? That's a tricky way to get people to pay attention and give your words credence. And we all know that Creed is the laughing stock of all scenesters... And Petra had a song called "Creed" -- and they're old enough to be Scott Stapp's dad! Wait! I can't get out of this mode! It's funny, but sad that some folks tie things together as if they were making a good case, when in reality they're just arguing and blowing lots and lots of hot air.

People that pursue the truth should take care to be accurate and not grasp at flimsy arguments to defend their ideas. If the truth is true, shouldn't it be able to stand up to scrutiny? If you have to build a weird case with inter-twining levels of connections, claiming ridiculous things matter-of-factly, isn't that pathetic?

Some say I have a pathetic ... I mean PROPHETIC ministry!
:?p

Believing In The Future Takes Faith

McManus brings up an interesting question about animals: Do you think they are aware of time? Does a mayfly know of its mortality (that it'll be dead within 24 hours of its birth)? It's funny to think of reincarnation in this context. The poor reincarnated soul must've led a terribly bad life previously to end up in this state. It's kind of a sad state of affairs ... if it were true.

"One of the clear distinctions between us and the rest of created life is that while insects, reptiles, birds, fish, amphibians, and even mammals are content with surviving, humans are not content to simply survive; we are driven to thrive."

We do have an innate sense of purpose, of pursuing destiny, don't we? We dream. We strive. We want to change the world. It would seem possible -- and even plausible -- that, since we have the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead residing in us, so we have the potential to do great and mighty things. Miracles, even, should be within our reach. Believing that probably opens up doors that a skeptic wouldn't be privvy to.

"It's not enough for us to merely exist; we are compelled to achieve. This drive would not even exist without a concept of time..."

McManus delves into a discussion about subjective reality. I remember taking a course in college called "The Politics of Reality." We covered many topics and had several discussions in this class. At one point the professor stopped talking and we picked up the lead and kept the discussions going in sort of a teaching experiment gone successful. One of the ideas was that the reality around us was not absolute. If we all looked up in the sky and saw a rainbow and agreed with each other that we saw a rainbow, then the rainbow "existed" in this subjective reality. It was only real because we collectively thought it was. While that's a funny head trip to ponder, I can't help but think that it's dumb.

McManus brings up a funny retort to it. He drives by a McDonald's and notes the sign says: "Over One Billion Served." He asks, "If this is all make-believe, why would we make up McDonald's?" Ha ha ha.

"Oh, and could you supersize that thought?"

Oxygen for the Soul

This chapter talks more about hope -- how we need it like oxygen to survive. It mentions how the world desperately needs hope, but seems intent on killing it or squelching it.

"Martin Luther King had a dream, and they killed him."

That's a powerful statement. "Hope is rare," McManus states, "but we don't need much of it to experience its power."

I am reminded of something that gives me great hope. I've brought this up before... I was at a church retreat in my elementary or junior high years -- I can't remember which. During the end of a "worship" time, the music stopped as everyone started hugging each other. The atmosphere in the room was like dense love. You could feel the energy. There were lots of tears and everyone was turning around, hugging, moving on and hugging another. It's a memory that has told me: "Christians are the happiest people on earth." That's the hope.

It is certain that Christians aren't happy all the time. We don't have to smile for every picture or every hello. Mustering a smile might help. Faking it has problems inherent. Sometimes pulling together a smile, though, is better than bringing down those around you and wallowing in your depression or self-sadness. But our life is not always up. This event was very special for me. One of the reasons it's special is that it was rare. Trying to duplicate and re-live this moment is probably futile. I was at a concert one time that was electric. I've described this event before, too.

Jereusalem was at the Exodus '85 Festival in Victoria, TX. It was out in this large field -- some believer's private property. Outside Houston, near Corpus Christi housed a really cool show. On the bill were Kemper Crabb, Rez Band, Prodigal, First Strike, and Jerusalem. There were others on the bill, but I can't recall at the moment. The members of Jerusalem had played a show in Utah or somewhere West the previous day or so. Due to the airlines strike at the time, they had delay after delay. Finally, one of the promoters went to the Houston airport, I think, to pick them up. There was four long-haired guys and this lady in a small Toyota-like sedan. They were pulled over on the way. The promoter explained that she told the suspicious officer, "They're all good, Christian boys!" The band made it to the fest late. Rez played in their slot. They arrived without their instruments, so they borrowed. They pretty much had very little time to get out of the car and get on stage. They probably felt stressed and spent due to the ongoing hassles of the day. They probably offered what little they had to God. "Use what you can," they probably said, just like the young lad with just loaves and fishes. What happened next is the stuff of legend. I'll never forget it.

The band played and we listened. Riveted. When they did one of their new songs, "The Wind Is Blowing," it was like God projected His own video for the event. A huge number of small, round clouds settled over the area. It was as if they lowered themselves to a glass ceiling not too far above our heads. I can't say how many feet -- maybe 1,000 feet? And once the clouds hit that imaginary glass sheet, they flattened a little on the bottom. Singer Ulf Christiansson sang the words, "the wind is blowing," and the clouds started moving East at high speed, as if on cue. It was jaw dropping amazing and beautiful. But it didn't stop there. After a song, Ulf led the audience into an impromptu-sounding song that repeated the phrase, "Love is our weapon." After the audience caught on and started singing it, carrying the song's load, he sat his guitar down, hopped off the high stage and approached the audience. The goofy idiot self-centered fan in me remembers that I was the first one he hugged, but then he hugged another and we all started turning around and hugging everyone near us as he moved through the crowd. It was like one of those Bono magical moments. At another point in the show, I remember, he made a point about making a difference in our world, and he started rattling off city names from Texas -- San Antonio, Victoria, Austin, Houston... It was like this Swedish singer knew his geography. Some of us suspected that it might've been a "God thing," where someone in the spirit realm was giving him knowledge that his own brain didn't have stored. I dunno.

As special as that memory is, though, the "hug time" wasn't as intense and emotional as the retreat one. That's a mountaintop experience I can still recall with awe. Again, trying to duplicate an event like that is probably really dumb. Emotions probably shouldn't be manipulated and manufactured like so many widgets. As we get more and more sophisticated with our technology and such, we'll get closer to replicating human emotions with virtual reality and computerized holograms, I'm sure. But my hope for the world is that everyone -- or at least lots of us (as many as possible) -- will feel that love. That it'll be so dense and real that they can't deny it. That's my hope.

Everybody Hurts

My wife likes to read ... a lot. She's got some sort of premium library card that allows her to check out 60 (I think) books at a time. One of my daughters has the reading bug, too. That is so cool -- knowing that the world is opening up to her and she'll be able to learn so much from reading. Sometimes my wife checks books out for me that I'd like. Recently she brought home Landry's Boys, which is a biography about the legendary coach of the Dallas Cowboys -- Tom Landry. It's cool to read up on how he perceived playing football. He had the concept that: if you could anticipate what the opposing player/team was going to do, you could defense against it. What's so cool is that he developed this as a true-to-life player/coach.

The other book my wife surprised me with was Everybody Hurts: An Essential Guide To Emo Culture. Nice, huh? It's a laugh-inducer with illustrations (by Rob Dobi) and humorous anecdotes galore. I'm going to have fun reading this one cover-to-cover.

ENTRY #8: Looking Forward

Wow, McManus talks about our need to look forward -- beyond the "now." He says it's important to not live only for the moment. He says: "It will never be enough for us simply to exist, and if all we have is now, our souls will starve from lack of nourishment. Without a future there is no hope, and hope is essential for our souls to thrive."

He talks about hope. Hope needs the future. No hope leads to despair. "We all need to believe we have a future and a hope," he adds. I remember asking Chris Cornell about the importance of hope and encouragement. He answered emphatically that we all needed it.

McManus tells a couple of suicide stories -- explaining how easy it is, sometimes, to change someone's mind. That it's not a cataclysmic thing needed to avert this tragedy. Sometimes it's as simple as being needed. One woman was headed towards the window of a high-rise office building. Just then someone popped in and asked her where the Coke machine was. She walked that person to the machine. She was needed. It helped. Another woman was on suicide bridge in Pasadena and gave God one last chance. "Speak now or forever hold your peace," she said. Just then her cell phone rang. She never gets phone calls, but there was someone on the other line that was looking for her and needed her for something. It was enough.

It's such a good ending to a sad direction, but what does it tell us about purpose, destiny, and hope? What does it say about our desire to be "needed?" What does it say about our perception of having a purpose? Of making a difference?

Wow.

What on Earth is Dad Doing?

McManus' DESTINY Entry #7 talked about our inner calling, our destiny and the signs trying to get us to pay attention to it. He brings out the Spielberg classic Close Encounters of the Third Kind. I'll always remember the scene where this family' crazed dad grabs the mashed potatoes at dinner one night and starts molding them with the serving spoon and then (I think) with his hands. He's trying to piece together images and signs he's getting and make sense of it all. Those around him, of course, think he's completely out of his skull.

I think the author takes a risk by assuming that others share this same kind of experience: where God sends signs that we begin to piece together, realizing that there's a entity outside of ourselves -- a God we don't know -- that is drawing us to Himself. It was that way for me, and it was that way for the author, but I wonder if it's that way for all of us. I guess his risk is probably warranted, but I usually hesitate to make that jump until I've had a chance to really think about it. Is this experience universal? I guess it is. That's what's fun about "connecting" with a book, blog, movie or song -- when someone shares an experience that's real and personal for them and it describes our own journey as well.

Ambition is evil

...NOT!

Erwin Rapheal McManus calls his #6 entry in the Destiny section: "Neutral Doesn't Get You Anywhere." It's true. No choice is a choice. Sometimes no action is not a safe option. The author talks about how some of us have heard somewhere that ambition is bad, or that it's not truly spiritual. The sermons about not involving God in our lives and allowing Him to lead us as Lord and Master have bent us in a direction that makes us very suspicious of ambition. Like a lot of things, we subtley get out of balance trying to obey or follow one line of thought.

God called for parties and festivals. Jesus went to more than one party in His life. Partying and the like is a good thing. Taken to an extreme and out of balance, of course, can lead to a wrong direction. There's passages in the Bible where God has gotten sick of His people's festivals. Their hearts had turned from Him and their celebrations were making Him angry instead of happy. Some Christians have used these passages on giant signs and come to the Cornerstone Festival to protest outside its gates. At least that's what I'm told. I never bothered to go find the protesters and see what they were doing. I think their efforts are truly misguided. I remember a guy walking around with a "Get serious" kind of tone at a March for Jesus rally in the Twin Cities in Minnesota several years ago. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind about how misguided he was. Yes, God is serious about repentance. Yes, He is serious about the Truth. Yes, there are parts of the body of Christ that are in error doctrine-wise (you could probably say that about all of us, actually, in some form or another). But a day of celebration where the focus is solely on Jesus and His wonderous Person is not the place to bicker and point out the flaws we have. This wasn't a day of protest. It was a day of openly declaring how awesome God is. The organizers all over the world were united in that front: this whole parade was for an audience of One. It was for Him. They even told believers not to wear their pro-life shirts on that day. This was specifically for praising Jesus, not protesting a cause that most all in attendance agreed on -- it just wasn't. Anyone who persisted in this attitude was sorely out of place. Good word, good thought, bad timing.

Believers can get so out of touch, it seems. Why is that? Why do we sometimes get blinded by causes or anger? Why would we take a truth -- like surrender to God being the most important and proper attitude -- and then use that to squash any dreams or ambition we come across? That's kind of twisted. God put ambition in us. He gave us an incredible potential to do some amazing things. Yes, God scattered the people when they built the tower of Babel, but does that mean He wants us to stop building? I don't think so.

"God created us with an intrinsic need to become. We are connected not only to the past and the present, but also to the future. There is a reason why you have a sense of destiny. It was placed there by God, and it woos you to pursue it."

McManus elaborates:

"You can conclude ambition is a bad thing, but like blaming the gas for fueling the car of a drunk driver or even blaming the alcohol, the problem isn't ambition; it is what we are ambitious for.
To lack ambition is to become complacent.
To lose our passion is to become apathetic.
If this is our only option, no that's pathetic!"

Have you noticed how some of God's people have changed the world? The twelve apostles "turned the world upside-down." Martin Luther pursued something with great passion and ambition, and it changed the church. John Wesley, Charles Finney. When it comes to people alive today, sometimes it seems harder to point them out. What's cool is some seeming insignificant people are making a difference that's causing a ripple effect. A principal of a high school here; a songwriter there; a pastor that has a vision for the body of Christ larger than his congregation; a student on campus that's obedient to what God's telling him; someone who's serving the poor in quiet obscurity. They're all changing the world. We're all pretty attracted to the world-changers that get known around the world, but I'm confident that God is well pleased with some people whose names we don't know. I'm glad these people have ambition to change their world.