Man, that is upsetting to pay that much for fuel.
In Entry #5 McManus calls dreams a type of "fuel" for the future. It's what keeps us going. We dream things, and then we do them. Maybe the "high cost" of dreams is sometimes not realizing them. McManus brings up some interest points about dreams:
1. Dreams don't quite "fit" in with Darwin's evolution. Dreams can be a liability.
2. We dream about way more than we can accomplish. Some dreams are just fanciful -- like my band Lust Control playing a new Woodstock Festival and preaching to 300,000 people from the stage about how this Jesus of the "Jesus movement" is real... That's not gonna happen. Playing in the NFL. Not gonna happen. I can dream of many things I was not designed to do.
3. Big dreams + nightmare for a life = dangerous combination.
He brings up this idea that, "if God were in His nature sinister, this would be a great way to torment us. We could come to this conclusion easily enough it if were not for one thing -- we can't live without dreams. In our worst moments, dreams haunt us, but when things are working the way they should, our dreams inspire us."
Another great quote in here I like is this:
"When we dwell on the past, we tend to want to live there. When we dream of the future, we want to go there. Our dreams are where God paints a picture of a life waiting to be created."
It sure would be cool if we inspired more people to dream and pursue their dreams. This is a better vocation than the dreaded Dream Crusher.
I ran into a Dream Crusher on Tuesday night. In preparing for the recent David Crowder story I wrote for CCM, I googled the name of Crowder's friend and pastor that died of electrocution while performing a baptism. Besides finding some information on the date and some reaction from loved ones, I also came across some opportunists of hate that used this event to vent their ideas and opinions about the "Emergent Church." Crowder's University Baptist Church could most likely be described as a "seeker friendly" church, because they try to create an environment where someone searching or doubting could ask questions. I happen to think it's a good idea. I'm glad people are exploring these ideas and providing a place where ideas can be challenged and wrestled with.
Seems a few people think that this accidental death was no accident, but instead it was the judgment of God. One guy brings up the story of Ananias and Sapphira from the book of Acts. He goes on to list several instances where Peter, Paul or Jesus did not mince words, which of course gave this guy a license to be brutal with his accusations and "holy permission" to tear apart this so-called heresy called "Emergent."
The problems with this guy's rant are many. First off, I'd like to ask him if he's a charismatic. Judging by his rants, I would bet you good money that he's not. That he believes that God sealed up the miraculous work of the Holy Spirit once the canon of Scripture was delivered to the church. That miracles were simply a method used in a defined and specified amount of time in the past just to verify the authority of Christ and His Word. Well, that's all fine and dandy, but if you're going to stick to that (dumb) theology, then you can't say that this death was God's judgment -- that He stepped into our time and moved His hand to bring about His judgment. That's just inconsistent.
He stands behind Jesus and Paul's seeming callousness towards the feelings of those around them in the midst of instructions of "it's better for a millstone to be tied around your neck and thrown into the sea than make a little one stumble" and "turn this one over to Satan for the destruction of his flesh." He believes this gives him license to cast forth judgment and bringing these examples up will cut off accusations of "unmerciful" and "hate-filled" before they come. It's true that these biblical examples show the main character saying things that were on the harsh side of things. The problem with using that, of course, is that we have to make the logical jump that this guy is indeed speaking with God's authority. He self-proclaims this to be the case, but I think he's flat out wrong. If he is wrong, then he's using the Bible as a club to dole out punishment he thinks is just. I bet this guy would be willing to go on TV news cameras and affirm Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell's statements about the 9/11 attacks being the direct result of our country's stance on homosexuality and abortion as the reason. This sounds very foolish to me.
This guy uses quotes from Pastor Kyle Lake's last sermon, which was a real encouragement to use your senses, appreciate creation, and pursue the dreams God gives you. This guy picks it apart, holding up each quote and viewing it through a "touchy feely" lens, making it sound like it was fruity. The problem with his angle was that he was setting God up as someone Who is always serious, never appreciates entertainment, and never want any of His people to enjoy life. It's like "God's Word should only be pious and serious. Going to your son's baseball game would be a waste of time -- you could be witnessing or building God's kingdom during that time, not indulging your flesh with trivial pursuits." The guy just doesn't make sense to me. You'd think that he'd follow his own allegations or ideas to their logical conclusion; and you'd think that he'd think twice before pronouncing as something as serious as judgment on a body of believers. I think this guy made a dumb mistake there.
He seems like a good example of a "Dream Crusher" to me. I could hear this guy saying something like, "Dreams for for dreamers, losers, and the unemployed!" Or "Watch out! Dreams could be from Satan!"
It's not because Remedy is released today -- although that'd be a good reason -- it's because I'm devoting all day to finishing this cover story for CCM. I want to get it right and do an excellent job. It's hard work, but it's fun. I'm glad I'm not transcribing the entire 3+ hour interview. I used to transcribe first, take notes second, and then write. But this time I'm formulating in my head where it's going, write what I can before transcribing and then looking over my questions and remembering his answers to see which ones I might want to use. I wish I had that software to transcribe an interview for me, but I'm not sure it's been developed that'll recognize multiple voices very well and still be affordable.
It's always a bummer to "kill" some quotes -- especially when the interview subject has so many good things to say. I'm really an admirer of this guy now. After meeting him and spending some time up close and personal, seeing his church, etc; I have a lot of respect for him. If I lived in Waco, I'm sure I'd want to be a part of his church. They've created a place that I think matches its goal -- to provide a place where someone can ask questions (and not necessarily be given the answers right away). I think that's really cool.
"Let's hear it for all the other blogs on the internet!
Come on!"
(I'm pretending I'm on "stage," as that's the protocol -- giving support to the other bands on the bill...)
I went to a really good show last night at La Zona Rosa in Austin, TX. Soon into the opening band's set, I knew I was seeing and hearing a great new band to be excited about. From the remnants of Beloved comes Advent. They're brutally heavy and metal intense. I love how their drummer lays down a rock solid foundation that the two guitarists lay their pulverizing crunchy distortion on top of. Their vocalist kept up the energy and put out and put out each and every song. They dedicated one of their songs, "Eulogy," to "all the tv preachers stealing everyone's money." Wow. They definitely set the tempo.
Maylene & the Sons of Disaster came on to the blaring introduction of Springsteen's "Born In The USA." Quite fitting. Their triple guitar attack was just amazing. It allows for some crazy textures -- with one or two punching out a huge groove and another one bending notes and adding so much attitude and style. They dedicated a song to Bin Laden -- I think it was "Dry The River." The rallying cry of "Raised By The Tide" was fun and engaging. The last song, "Memories of the Grove," was a real show stopper, too. The alternate pre-chorus part where the drumsticks start padiddling on the rims gave room for the audience to sing along. It was a real memorable moment. This band is totally sounding good.
Every Time I Die managed to keep the energy level in the club high -- and even raise it a few notches. Frontman Keith Buckley held court, as always. Their song, "Kill The Music" had the appreciative crowd eating out of their hands.
The multiple samples between most songs had 'em laughing, too. The band was just tight and unrelenting. Each band on the bill had a good night, with little to no distractions keeping 'em down.
Underoath came on stage to a crowd that only seemed to grow with energy. It's amazing how good intense music can keep boosting energy instead of just spending it. The giant video screen behind stage came to life for the first time, sporting some well edited movies of a mysterious girl, people in rabbit masks that conjure memories of Donnie Darko. Their third song was "It's Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door," which the crowd joyously obliged in the child-like chorus of "drowning in my sleep..." Frontman Spencer Chamberlain absent-mindedly called the crowd San Antonio, but realized his gaff just as it left his mouth. He apologized a few times as he helped choreograph the crowd participation with hand waving. The video footage that was interspersed throughout the show was just awesome. Sometimes it was just a backdrop of no-channel tv fuzz with the naught symbol in the middle. The high speed photography of plants growing was trippy.
Spencer made it a point to mention to the crowd that the band did what they did for Jesus. He quite eloquently shared his beliefs, his utter reliance on Jesus without coming across as condemning or "I'm right and you're wrong" at all. "It's worked for me," he said, and "in trying to be a good person, I wanted to share that."
"Writing On The Walls" was a definite highlight, as the band didn't waver in its high energy onslaught for a good hour. That's a long time for a hardcore-oriented band, folks! It's really interesting to watch Tim McTague and James Smith play the different sounds -- like those counterpart things they attack. Underoath really does so much with what they've got (six members). The twin guitars build on each other and Chris Dudley is always dropping cool sounds into the mix. Tim helps Spencer with some shout vocals and Aaron does such a solid job pounding the drums and adding his vocals, too. The last song of the set was an extended jam that Spencer joined in on with a guitar.
For the three or so encores, the band squeezed out even more energy. One of the coolest visuals at the end was of Spencer up on the barricades screaming along with lots of back light courtesy the video screen. He cast a great silhouette with his outstretched arms.
I listened to some sports talk radio last week, and I watched some football shows, too. The analysts were going off about how bad Donovan's season was going and how he was this close to losing his job, etc. They were responding to McNabb's press conference, where he brought up the color of his skin in relation to the position he plays on the team. It was all blown out of proportion. And Donovan made them all look like fools Sunday with his brilliant play. Seems like all those words were just foolish speculation.
The Bible warns us to avoid foolish speculation. This week was a good example of how speculation is often a big waste of time. When the Bible warns us about something and/or someone like me brings it up, it's not because participating in foolish speculation will open up a trap door, end your life and send you straight down to hell ... or that you'll end up there after your life gets shipwrecked and all kinds of evil befalls you. No, sometimes the Bible is real simple and down-to-earth. Avoiding foolish speculation is a better use of your time.
It's not too different than some of God's laws concerning human body waste and whatnot. The Israelites were probably known as innovators with some of that stuff. God's warnings = wisdom. It makes for better living. No severe judgment or fire and brimstone. Just good advice -- real good.
I remember taking one of those pocket New Testaments with Psalms and Proverbs in it from a Gideon's Bible guy at the University of Texas as a sophomore. I was still in my "prodigal state" at the time, but I began reading the Proverbs. I remember thinking, 'Man, this stuff is better and smarter than even those Kansas or Jim Morrison lyrics!'
:?)
...find out when the nearby Fed Ex location last drop-off time is and try to make that.
Oh Boise!
Wow, I feel like a soccer ball that's been kicked around all night.
I need 4 cups of coffee (with an ounce of vanilla creamer).
All the major stuff is done:
cover, poster, Features 1-9, album reviews, columns, "Play" section, letters, live report, readers' poll & survey, one featurette.
All I've got left is:
laying out ads, creating a few "house" ads, laying out the "EC's" (those mini stories in the "Hard News" section), the TOC, "Pick of the Litter," that continued page, a last-minute featurette that I thought was done already, the back page, and then making any corrections that the proofreaders have found. I'm trying to make the Fed Ex location today (I think the last drop time is 1pm) so I can turn in all the printed proofs that need to be overnighted to the printer. (I'll send the actual PDF files of each page over the internet -- what did we do before that virtual spider web of information/communication existed?)
Did you know that if you have to ship something on Friday or Saturday that needs to arrive on Monday -- that it costs no more to ship it Saturday as it does on Friday? Those are the rules at Fed Ex.
Just in case you were wondering, though, you can't wear any Nike clothing, shoes, jewelry if you work at Fed Ex. It's true. I know a Canadian that works there. Seems an employee stole a new pair of Nikes from a package, slipped his old shoes to the customer and walked out with the new ones. Now the entire employee work force has to agree not to wear any Nike garb. They can't bring in cell phones, either.
...or random thoughts from a Rat Fink...
1. Why is it that every time you need some super glue, that you have to go buy a new tube? If you have one in storage, it's always dried shut.
2. How come when I think about using Super Glue and having an itch in my eye and scratch it and then get glue in it ... that I get the Heebie Jeebies? Just thinking about it gives me the Willies.
3. I worked until 3am this morning. Still have more than a full day's worth of work to do, though the deadline looms ahead. Looks like tonight might be another all-nighter and Saturday another long one.
4. When I woke up around 8:30 this morning, I had a good idea for a layout that I had thought about the night before. Where does that come from? Is this a "God-thing?" Or is it a "God-thing" of another kind -- like a gift that He instilled in our brains, as instinct? It's pretty amazing to have creative ideas come during sleep / dreams.
5. I saw a local farmer/businessman that I know (and have tried to work with)... He had a pile of railroad ties next to his gate with a large banner, advertising them for sale. Just last week the crews were replacing these ties, ever so slowly yet efficiently one at a time. How much you wanna bet that this guy just grabbed some of the ties left over from this project and is now selling them? If that's so, that's pretty lame, huh? I wonder if he'll get caught. Or maybe he bought them from the crew -- unwanted materials discarded.
6. Monday is a great concert in Austin -- Underoath with Maylene & The Sons of Disaster. I can't wait to see Maylene especially... I wonder if Dallas gets on stage and sings with Underoath each night? hmmm...
7. David Crowder retro-fitted and re-wired a Guitar Hero flying-V unit with a sample trigger device to play some of the new sounds they recorded on Remedy.
The author met a very cool guy named Randy Bradford. This guy was only 45 inches tall. That's, like, 3 feet 9 inches. He was born with Diastrophic Dwarfism. Some parents might choose to terminate a pregnancy if they knew their child would be born this way. He wasn't expected to survie, in fact, much past childhood. Early on in his life, though, his parents took him to the Portland airport to watch the planes take off and land. At that point, he began to dream of flying. He knew that's what he wanted to do. His mother, of course, struggled with how to tell him that he'd never be able to fly. He called himself a "bumblebee," which by all theories of aerodynamics and physics, shouldn't be able to fly. He was told again and again that he wouldn't be able to fly with his size. He didn't listen to the detractors of his dream. He finally found an instructor that would help him. Now he flies and owns a plane. He started a nonprofit organization called Challenged Air for Kids and Friends, which gives plane rides to children who are either disabled or in some way disadvantaged.
That's so cool.
P.S. I have to give a special shout out to Erin Lee, our new Ad Sales & Marketing Director. In her first issue, she was able to do a wonderfully impressive job. On another note, I've got about a week's worth of work, it seems, to accomplish here in two days. We'll see how this deadline goes. I'd like to even it up on the old marker board. Right now the score is Deadline 3 - DVP 2. The riding lawn mower here broke on me again a little over a month ago, and now the weeds are almost too high to mow. Supposedly the supplier in Ohio is getting more belts in today, which should ship out and arrive here around Monday. I just noticed a post-it note on my wall by my desk:
Hi Doug
Thanks for having
an open mind
about this one
Bill
I wonder what that's about... An album review, perhaps? I don't remember!
"Whether it's striving for success or longing for significance, whether it's trying to create a better world or become a better person, there is a drive within us all. We are designed with a need to move forward. Without it our lives become only shadows of what they could have been. You can live without pursuing a dream, you can funtion without passion, but with each passing moment, your soul will become more and more anemic."
Wow.
This entry talks about the insatiable desire we are born with for greatness. We strive for greatness and to be the best, and only later learn to acquiesce to mediocrity or second, third, or fourth place. I remember trying out for the Texas Longhorns as a placekicker. They had a future NFL kicker on their team that year -- Raul Allegre. He wasn't at practice the day I had my final tryout (after a spring tryout where I rec'd instructions on what to improve on with an invitation to come back), but there were two other guys there that I felt like I could compete with and possibly beat out. My tryout day was a disaster, though. I unwisely chose to wear these astro-turf shoes that I was enthralled with. The university had decked me out with all the necessary equipment -- helmet, pads, pants, practice jersey, etc. But it was those dang shoes that were the end of me. Even at the end of practice, when then coach Fred Akers had the kickoff team practicing and the second string kicker kept placing the ball in the wrong place (coach wanted it in the right corner), he yelled, "Bring me someone that can kick!" As insignificant as I felt I was -- one of 100+ players probably -- I am pretty sure he knew I was there, since I had talked to him a couple days before to get the final clearance to play in spite of my fairly low grades. Even though this was my chance to redeem myself that day (and it might have even been possible, since the kickoff process used a tee that held the ball a couple inches off the turf), I chose to hang my head as the third string guy trotted over there and placed the ball right where the coach wanted. It might have been the fear of performing in front of the entire team -- because for one brief moment, the person kicking the ball was the center of attention. I was worried that my inability to get enough clearance underneath the ball that I'd been having all that day in practice would repeat itself again. I gave up that dream that day, which was confirmed the next day when I came into the locker room and found my locker empty -- the only thing hanging in there being my trusty soccer cleats that I should've used. I pretty much massage myself with the realization that the very next year an All American kicker named Jeff Ward walked on the next year and started, I think, the next four years or so. I probably never would have played a down, but I'll never really know now.
Another good thing that comes from that shortcoming, though, is the drive I now have to not repeat that sort of defeat again.
McManus says:
"When we stop dreaming, we start dying."
P.S. I'm sorry for telling this story again.
P.S.S. I'm sorry for telling this story again.
P.S.S.S. I'm sorry for telling this story again.
I meant to post a blog up this morning before I left for Waco, Texas to interview David Crowder, but it was not to be. I even wrote something up yesterday to use (since I knew it'd be a rushed morning), but ... alas, I left that file in a funny folder and it didn't make it in my "backup any recent files" process. Sigh.
Man, the interview with David Crowder went great. He's a real warm and nice and funny guy. Quite the tech gadget geek. Very likable. His church sounds like a really awesome community of believers, too.
Well, I've gotta get busy on this deadline. Friday's coming faster than you can say "Tony Campolo."
In this entry McManus discusses the drive we have in us.
"All of us, at the very least, want to create a better life, a better future, a better us. When we surrender these aspirations, we find ourselves drowning in apathy and atrophy."
I have an immediate recognition when I hear talk like this. I have an immediate thought when I see a movie that's inspiring. I think about the book I'm writing. I have to finish it. I have to get it out. I have to see if I can get it listed on a Sports best-seller list they print in ESPN the Magazine. That's a goal I have. I'd like to see this book/novel become a movie or tv show. My longings for its completion are great. It's a burning, churning sensation that drives me onward. It's the kind of "oomph!" that would propel me on in a long-distance run or job, a passion inside that says, "The pain is acceptable -- a means to an end." I battle the frustration of my daily duties getting in its way.
I also have to consistently surrender it to the Lord. Sometimes I don't even want to. There's a hidden fear that if I give an inch to any obstacle, it will spell my defeat. I know that I know that I can trust God, though. Even if I had to suffer total defeat and humiliation, at least He would be there. Even if He made Himself absent for some reason, I could even hold on to the memories I have of Him. I've had experiences in my life in the small amount of the presence of God that I've been priveleged to have. If I had to go through a desert experience or absence of the Lord phase, I would be able to hold on to some sweet memories. Memories are not as good as the present presence, and like emotions they are not tangible, per se, but they can serve as sort of an anchoring mechanism in our hearts and minds.
I also believe that to resist the call to surrender can turn something -- even a good thing -- into an idol. A passionate pursuit of a dream is a wonderful thing, but there are un-measured doses of reality and the wise order of priority that need to be acknowledged. This causes an inner frustration, but also a sense of peace. I so want to be on the other side of this mountain, and I don't relish the pain and hard work to get up to the peak and over, but here I am nevertheless.
What dreams do you have?
There's a lot of unsung heroes out there. One such noteworthy guy is my cousin-in-law, John Wilbeck. This Kansas farmer does more than just ride his tractor and feed his livestock. He gets in his garage/shop/barn (which he built a giant automatic door opener from scraps for) and gets a welding torch out and turns his plans into real live, working machines and tools.
He might have possibly been the first or one of the first people ever to build a four-wheel drive tractor. Think about changing the axles and they way they work for a heavy duty piece of machinary like that! Talk about ingenuity -- this guys' got it.
He's also built implements (those things tractors pull behind them), as well as innovative and convenient storage facilities, like an automatic silo device that empties, dispenses grain and probably cleans the silo. He also invented a storage system for wheat storage, which has augers that put wheat kernals in storage and later dispenses them.
I guess you really have to be there and see these things in action to appreciate them. But this guy is a good example of a hard worker that applies himself to solving problems. The results are amazing accomplishments. Celebrity-ism is shallow, and guys like this are solving their own challenges and problems, as opposed to pursuing fame; but it's a shame more people don't know about this guy and the many others like him.
Even as short as a week ago, this Austin City Limits Festival weekend felt so far away. Now, here I am, with one week to go / left until deadline and this cool 3-day festival starts.
I plan on checking out Manchester Orchestra this afternoon at 4pm. Then I'd like to see Crowded House, Queens of the Stone Age (I haven't heard their new album yet, so not sure I'll like their new tunes ... anyone else heard that album and have any thoughts???), Kaiser Chiefs, The Killers, The Mighty Clouds of Joy, and Louis XIV.
Tomorrow features Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Arcade Fire, and Muse. Sunday features Bob Dylan and Band (amongs dozens of other acts, of course).
Am (finally) listening to David Crowder's Remedy album. CCM asked me to write their cover story on him. Plan are for me to go visit him in Waco next Tuesday for a nice long interview. It's interesting that our church has been singing his song, "Everything Glorious" for months now. Maybe it was released that long ago. I don't know how these things work, but will endeavor to find out. I'm looking forward to talking to him. I have some interesting ideas to explore for this story. I hope it turns out great.
:?)
Well, we've come to the end of our story now, and even though it comes from the Bible, I'm sure they'll be a few critics out there... People who don't understand how God could use something like Lust Control...
Oh! Sorry, I got carried away in old lyrics (from "Dancing Naked"). What I meant to address was that McManus' book, Soul Cravings, is broken up into three major sections: Intimacy; Destiny; Meaning. I wonder if he'll discuss the difference between truth and meaning, like Donald Miller has done of late? Anyway, I was titling these things according to chapters, or entries, like: Soul Cravings.21" and such. Now that we're in the DESTINY section, the entries have started back at one again. I think I'll go with the entry headline for my titles here.
The author relives a childhood memory here, remembering a hero from Robert A. Heinlein's Glory Road. There was a job application posted that called for a courageous young man, proficient in all weapons, good in math and engineering, no attachments, permanent employment, etc.
I'm reminded of a classic spammed email that showed a job application/resume full of imaginary heroic traits, bragging about rock climbing, bench pressing, and all sorts of fibs. I couldn't find it on a quick google search.
The point, however, of this entry was to talk about how fulfilled we are as people when we are acting alongside our dreams, pursuing our destiny.
"When we are optimistic about the future, we find the energy to create it."
That is cool. I know that I feel pretty darn good when I'm working to make a dream come true. I've tried to give serious attention to the things I dream about and imagine. I remember spending a couple weeks' worth of lunch hours doing some open air preaching in the "free speech" zone in front of the UT Student Union building on Guadaloupe Street in Austin. Someone later asked me why I was doing this. I think he actually wrote for The Daily Texan newspaper. He asked me if I felt like I was connecting with anyone, implying that I wasn't and that I was delusional about it. I remember telling him in all honesty that it was no big deal and that I did this because I'd been dreaming about it for days and felt like I should go for it. I wasn't really concerned about seeing fruit or results from it. That'd be great to see (then and now), but I couldn't get this out of my mind, so I did it. Something inside was pushing me to do it. Whether or not it turned out to be a great thing that changed the world or a completely random and forgettable thing was not as much of an issue as the experience of going out and doing what I was dreaming about. I am so glad I did that.
ENTRY#21: Love Is Not a Four-Letter Word
All you need is love.
God is love.
Wow. That was it -- the entire 21st chapter of Soul Cravings (reprinted without permission) right there. All we need is God. That can sound like a cliche to a wounded, cynical person; but it's true. God made us to have relationship with Him and others. We were created with an ability to sense and receive love from Him and (if we so choose) to love Him back. We can choose to love others, too. Love is not just an affectionate feeling, but often those emotions do get included or are a common by-product.
That's the kind of attitude I want to shoot back at some legalistic/judgmental people I come across. You might know the kind of person I'm talking about: the kind of "Christian" that seems to stake their identity in the things that they are against (as opposed to staking their identity in the things that they are for ... or better yet, in the simplicity of Christ).
A dear friend of mine sent me a link to an anti-rock guy. A "minister" that is telling parents to "clean house" and get rid of all forms of rock music. Puh-leeze! This guy bases his arguments upon his interpretation of Scripture. He is fine to have his own conclusions, and he's even allowed to teach and preach this stuff. But I wonder how helpful he is to the body of Christ. Is he really edifying people? I guess it's good to focus on what we're putting into our heads via music, entertainment, media, etc. Whether it's gossipy friends, over-indulging in sports or entertainment trivia, or steamy movies or music with a "pro-sin" message -- it's healthy to ask this question every now and then. But to base your entire focus -- day in and day out -- I think that's way out of balance. Loving God and others can surely keep us busy enough to keep us growing in Christ. Our "personal holiness" is likely to fall into place as we walk forward in this kind of lifestyle. A healthy diet of reading the Word, prayer, and fellowship will offer inner strength and a purity of heart that's probably a lot more real and long-lasting than the energy of focusing on feeding yourself with the right entertainment and not the wrong. The best believer in Christ, in my opinion, is the one that is constantly growing and learning to make decisions on his or her own -- not having to lean on a trusted preacher/teacher or friend. I think that's part of maturing.
I think it's kind of immature in a false security / crutch sort of way when we rely on someone else's "list" of what's good and what's bad. I believe our conscience can be our guide ... and this conscience can both get seared and get trained in "right thinking" or "correct decision-making." Our conscience gets submitted to the Lord and our decisions become based on wisdom, biblical principles, and our own convictions on "grey areas" become easy to make. We're not bothered so much by someone raising a fuss over this and that.
It kind of sickens me to see a so-called "minister" put a big message that says "Boycott so & so's Teen Mania..." The people behind Teen Mania spend time fasting and in prayer, walking around a facility before meetings, asking God to use the upcoming event, soften people's hearts, change lives, do miracles, expand His kingdom. And here's a hothead asking other believers to boycott these events. Doesn't that seem silly to you? I get mad at people like this.
I think I'm justified in my anger, because Paul the apostle clearly called out some damaging so-called ministers in his day. He called them "dogs" and he let his anger as a shepherd over the people he was trying to disciple and lead towards Christ ... he got defensive when someone else came in and damaged the "flock" under his care. I think maybe it's right to stand up and "call a spade a spade," so to speak. Pointing out a false teacher probably should be done forcefully and without apology.
But I may be wrong. What if Paul the apostle responded to these people in a way that wasn't God's will? What if the attitude of Jesus, which might possibly be explained in saying: "Never respond back to someone in the same (negative) spirit/attitude, but instead respond back to hate/anger/judgment in the opposite spirit/attitude ... of love." Paul certainly wasn't sinless. He wasn't our Savior. He was a sinful man like we are. His letters to various churches and men he discpled, like Timothy, are considered Scripture, though. I definitely believe that his letters are God-breathed and inspired by the Holy Spirit, but could his attitude have been wrong? Could his mistakes (like the mistakes the people of Israel made in the Old Testament, which Scripture says are there for "our instruction") be written in his letters for "our instruction?" Hmmm. Maybe so. Maybe Jesus would have wanted Paul to keep a gentle approach to this situation (of Judiazers coming in and stirring up young believers to get circumcized and follow the law after coming to faith in Christ).
It's good to stop and ponder this, perhaps. I think the conclusion to the question is probably "No," though. Even Jesus responded in fierce anger like Paul did. It was both aimed at pretty much the same group of people: religious leaders that beat their people up and try to get them to carry unnecessary loads.
Maybe if I take my anger too far and try to throw suspicion on these teachers by implying that they may be perverts or porn addicts or worse themselves. Sometimes people preach loudly and fiercely as a way to compensate for some bondage in their own life. That's not always true, though. I stood up and proclaimed some pretty bold stuff with my band Lust Control and I wasn't secretly in bondage to sexual sin. By the grace of God I was living above those sins and in freedom from them. If I had to correctly judge my sermons on stage as that band leader, though, I am happy to realize that our messages were steeped in grace. Maybe that's the difference: Addressing sin can be a raving rant, where one might question the vehemence with which it is being delivered; and/or it can also be delivered with bold humility and grace. I hope (and am pretty confident that, by His grace), that's how I did it.
I went on a tangent there, but my attitude of anger might be justified; but I bet you that I'm stepping over the line if I accuse such and such a person -- even with just the bold question/implication I hinted at. That's probably wrong. I don't have to agree with a teaching. I can oppose a teaching. I can even get angry about a teaching, but I can also stay grounded in grace and humility at the same time. I don't need to use a license to be angry as a license to "step over the line..."
What do you think?
Yeah, baby!
When I look at the bookmark here at chapter 20, it appears we're actually making some headway. While I am enjoying the journey, for sure, I do like to finish books. Today's "Bring your daughter to work day" at HM Magazine. My youngest is here with me ... and she's already finished her schoolwork for the day -- before 10am. Nice. I was glad to see her with her school books all spread out in front of her as soon as she arrived -- without a word from me -- studying instead of playing computer games. That's a good sign of self discipline, delayed gratification, and motivation. It's also "Transcribe that Chris Cornell interview day."
ENTRY #20: Like A Kiss On The Face
When I see the title for this chapter, I'm thinking, 'Oh, he's going to talk about the definition of worship, which some scholars say is "to kiss toward" or "to kiss the face of." As I read on, I never came across that definition. What I found was a story of a woman named Ann, who's earliest memory is being screamed at as a three year old. She thought she was unloved at birth. She married an abusive man, who was out with another woman shortly after the birth of her second child. On a rainy night at 2am, she looked out the window and thought of ways to kill him or herself, etc. She spoke to God, telling Him that if this was all there was to life, there was no point to living. She asked God to show Himself to her ... if life mattered to Him at all.
She went into the basement and found an old Bible. As she read it, God proved Himself to her. As she read about the anguish of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, she recognized love. She understood that God did it all for love. It's so amazing and cool that she recognized it when she saw it ... and she was able to see it in the simple words on a printed page. Jesus had a dark night of the soul that night. I remember being both crushed and set free by that passage of Scripture myself. I was in the process of being crushed in spirit and heart over and over again by my affections for this girl. I felt so heartbroken and lonely, but the phrase: "My soul is overhwelmed with sorrow to the point of death." I realized that He experienced gut-wrenching pain and that He could totally relate and empathize with my pain. From then on, His comfort to me seemed much more real, because my understanding of His empathy towards me wasn't hollow and weak. It was real. He was there. He'd been through it.
Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss on the face. What's cool about the love of God is that it is truly unconditional. I try to think I love unconditionally, but one of the conditions I'll often attach to love is being appreciated. God's love endures even in the face of no positive feedback, no love back, no appreciation, not even a "Thank you."
"Yet his love is undeterred.
He still pursues us with his relentless compassion.
God is the passionate lover of humanity.
He created you for love.
You cannot live without love, and you do not have to.
Yes, there is an insanity to love. You will go mad in pursuing it.
You will despise life itself if you do not find it.
Your soul craves love and will find satisfaction with nothing less.
You shouldn't be surprised that as you look for love, you keep running into God.
Listen to your soul. You have not given yourself to a futile search.
You are not alone in your pursuit.
Love searches for you."
That is so cool. God's love is real and personal. It's not fake, like those bogus junk emails I get about a Russian woman looking for love, promising to send me photos if I email her. The big problem with empty promises like that is that the message is sent as if it's a personal note, but the same message is sent to millions of email addresses at the same time. I feel sorry if there is anyone that believes that Sasha is actually writing a personal note to him.
One other thing that jumps out at me from this chapter is a passing comment McManus makes about Jesus' cruel death:
"On a cross, Jesus of Nazareth hung naked and beaten for love."
The image we have of Jesus hanging on the cross always features a loin cloth. This is really for our benefit, because it would be hard for us in the civilized Western culture to look at a symbol like that with a naked man hanging on a cross. My reference is only what I've read, but I've read that men were crucified naked. Sometimes their genitals were pierced with a spear to torment them more. It made their cruel capital punishment even more humiliating. He could not cover himself up with modesty. He was made a public spectacle. It's not pretty to think of Jesus hanging naked on a cross, but it's probably a more accurate picture. It's ugly. And it should be. There's great beauty in the act, but on the surface it is incredibly ugly and brutal.
How strong is the love of God?
ENTRY #19: A Force Greater Than Death
When I started reading this chapter, I had no idea it would lead to the subject of death. I guess I ignored the heading and dove headlong into the text. I was fascinated by the discussion about how perfectly our planet is in orbit -- not too close to the sun that it burns up and not too close that we freeze. The water that covers most of the planet is life-sustaining.
Then the author brings up this couple, who through a spiritual search came to Jesus during one of the author's speaking series on water. This couple embraced Jesus when they found Him. Their search for beauty in truth led them to their Creator. That's so cool. Eventually, their adult children came to faith in Christ. Unlike some stories, the author warned, this one did not have a happy ending. The youngest son of this couple died in a motorcycle accident. He had a wife and a one-year old son. His widow and son came to live with this couple.
It was true that love is what brought these four people under one roof. The tragedy of the death of their son could have caused all to lose their faith in Christ. Instead, they have become an encouragement to others and they have a love that multiplies in their home. It truly was love that brought them together.
That's really hard to absorb, but it's beautiful to see that love cannot be stopped. One of his quotes was used in a friend of mine's memorial service this past year:
"Grief is proof that love prevails over death."
ENTRY #18: Nowhere Man
In this small chapter McManus reveals that that is not really his true last name. He's taken it on as an alias. His mom remarried and her second husband, I assume, is named McManus. The point he gets to in this entry is that we all long to belong.
I remember the feelings of envy and respect I felt in junior high for the coolest kids in class. They apparently all smoked pot. That was a real social drug during the 70s. It was so prevelant during that time that I am actually quite shocked that marijuana did not get legalized in the 80s. I wasn't expecting the Reagan Revolution and the "Just Say No" campaign to change our culture. It certainly did, though. Where heavy metal and rock concerts used to be a haven for pot smoke, where ten thousand or more dopers under one roof were too much for a small police force to handle, so the smoking went unregulated in the arena. As soon as the lights went down, a cloudy haze settled over pretty much the entire audience. I was afraid of drugs as a junior high student. I'm not sure why, but I was afraid of what they would do to my body or something. My reluctance to do them kept me on one side of an invisible yet very real fence between the cool kids and me. Even though I got along with most kids in my class -- including the ones that did drugs -- I was not part of their group.
Once I crossed the line late in my freshman year of high school, I was amazed at how seemingly instantly I felt "in." By the time I was a senior I was experienced enough to hold my own in just about any pot smoking context. When I travelled out of state and partied with others, there was an instant bond. I was part of their tribe. When I arrived in Austin for my college years, I was able to make quick friends with those that got high.
For me, I was able to feed my insecurity and longing to belong by taking illegal drugs. Not everyone goes to these ends ... and some people go way beyond them to belong. One of the things McManus uses to define a "real" community is that it is inclusive -- not exclusive. It is inviting. That does sound like a good defintion of a God initiated community. Everyone is welcome.
I'm getting used to Thrice's new album, Alchemy.
Volume I is Fire
and track # 4, The Arsonist, sounds like Project 86. During the pauses of certain verse, I expect to hear the chant, "Off with your head!" or something.
I'm liking these songs the more I hear them.
Ha ha ha. Those six words together (seven if you count the contraction) make up the most vile, wicked or (maybe more accurately put) pathetic phrase in the English language. I cringe whenever I hear it and laugh whenever I hear about it. In McManus' book, Entry #17 is called "Do You Know Who You Are?" and he tells a story of an Aussie he met who once worked on a train and had a hard time with one of the passengers, who began to yell at him, "Do you know who I am? Do you know who I am?" This guy calmly called all the passengers to attention and asked, "Does anyone know who this man is? He seems to have forgotten." (ha ha ha) The guy ended up sheepishly finding his seat.
The author brings up an interesting point about how "self awareness" is a popular topic now. He surmises that it's probably because we are so self-absorbed and less self aware. He brings up a funny point and then underlines the "we were meant for community" topic again when he talks about the early rounds of American Idol. These people with a sometimes hideous lack of talent get up on stage and make a spectacle out of themselves. Apparently, these people are either isolated and not part of a community of loving people (where certainly one of their friends would tell them the loving truth) or they are stubbornly refusing to hear the honest criticism of those around them. That is one of the good by-products of being in community -- we find out what our gifts are (and are not). We can affirm those gifts and talents we see, encouraging them to develop; and we can gently guide someone in another direction (like showing them another related vocation or maybe even giving them a certificate for voice lessons).
I got some cool stuff over the weekend. One thing was the new issue of ESPN. This was the NFL preview issue, which is always fun and loaded with writing on stuff I want to read (as opposed to most other sports). There was an ad for Rain 5 chewing gum. It made some claim about being like 50 cell phones on vibrate beneath you or something. I thought it might be a good energy gum or something super tingly. Anyway, less than 30 minutes later I was in the checkout line at the store and saw a pack for 1.29. I bought it. The ad worked that immediately. It's good gum, strong spearmint taste. Nothing extraordinary, though. The packaging is new and different, featuring normal long slender sticks of gum in a fold-up box.
Some very cool music hit me this weekend, too:
The new HIM album, which I'm kind of disappointed in. It's good, but not immediate. Slow, but not real doomy. Melodic, but not real memorable.
The new Shiny Toy Guns, which I dig quite a bit.
The new Thrice album, Alchemy Index, Vols I & II (Fire & Water). This one I couldn't play on my car stereo, as it was one of those advance CDs with anti-copy code written into it or something. I'll be playing this now.
I've got to finish the new issue of Heaven's Metal Fanzine today. It'll be a special "double flip" cover like the last one (and also like the current issue of HM).
In Entry #16, "God and Basketball," McManus talks about love and community. It's funny to hear him quietly and gently lay waste to the old argument about "not needing church... me and God... fellowship out here in nature..." You've heard those arguments. Opening statement says it all:
"Love can never be simply between you and God."
Without getting confrontational in a direct way, he's making statements that fly in the face of stuff like: "My relationship with God is personal."
The purpose of man is really intertwined with our fellow man -- loving those around us. Love is really what it's all about. Loving God is going to produce a lifestyle with love overflowing for others. It's not like you have to talk yourself into loving someone who is ugly/a jerk/you hate, either. Opening your heart up to God will expand your heart and give you the capacity to see others beyond your narrow, possibly wounded and hurt way.
"It (love) can never be limited to that relationship (God and I). Jesus makes that clear. Love is more than the relationship between a man and a woman, no matter how extraordinary it may be. Love is ever expanding. Love always grows, not just deeper, but wider. Love always loves people more and always loves more people. Love calls us to community; love calls us to humanity; love calls us to each other."
Yeah.
McManus ties in his title with a story about a friend of his named Ben. He and Ben were playing basketball. Ben had some unresolved issues with God. Finally, it became obvious what was going on. Ben was afraid that God was going to burn him. He'd been burned by Christians and other people, so this fear existed that God would do the same. In the midst of this discussion, the author throws out some other quotes I like:
"If religion can bring us to God, it can certainly take us from Him."
That's like the two-edged sword of our resonsibility and opportunity and capability. We have the potential for so much good in this world -- as well as bad.
"If we risk entering a community that claims access to God and we find ourselves betrayed in the process, it becomes the fastest way to become a practical atheist."
Wow. It would be good to be careful. I don't think we have to really worry about this (and in the process "walk on pins and needles" so as not to risk hurting anybody), but simply love God and love others around us -- be pro-active, not defensive. And we'll probably be "so busy doing good" that we don't screw up and do bad. Speaking in simplistic cliches, but I think the point is a good one. Be aware of the dangers of hurting others and then be active in helping and caring and loving ... and we'll probably avoid a lot of hurtful actions.