Doug Van Pelt

Soul Cravings.1

The book is broken up into three headings:
INTIMACY
DESTINY
MEANING
Each chapter is called an "entry."

The first one is called: "Love is like stepping on broken glass."
Wow. That's an attention-getting headline.
The entry starts off with a story about a late-night outing for some college students escaping the walls of the dorm at the University of North Carolina. On the way back a very attractive young lady began walking barefoot and stepped on a piece of glass. "Fate" stepped in and allowed the author to be the guy that got to carry her back to safety. He describes the mile-long journey as feeling like "it was all downhill." He was highly motivated and the load probably seemed lighter than it was.

A "romance was born," he writes. "...true love, an epic romance, classic Shakespeare." The next paragraph bookends the experience, though: "It lasted a couple of months."

The author uses this entire first entry, pretty much, to just throw the "problem" out there. He describes truthfully how so much is written and talked about in our culture about "love." Songs, books, talk shows. We are driven, it seems, by love. Love is magic. It is happy. It is tragic. It is sad. He uses a great metaphor here:

"How is it that the same thing that can make your life a rhapsody can also leave you gutted,
like a dead fish wrapped in day-old newspaper?"

We will read on, I am sure, about how this "version" or understanding or definition of love is not real love. This kind of love -- the popular definition -- is "feeling love," or the emotional kind. The problem with feelings and emotions is that they change. They rise and fall like a roller coaster, sometimes like a unexpected hole in the ground.

I have a friend in Nashville named Shane. He was glad to tell anybody who asked about his late night trip down an open manhole. One detail of his story that gets repeated every time is the phrase "the city of Nashville," who were the guilty culprits, apparently, of leaving a manhole in a dimly (or completely non-lit) lit downtown street uncovered. I can only imagine the pain of having a fairly exposed (not much meat or fat there) shinbone meeting the metal edge of a manhole at walking speed. Ouch! He broke his leg and was on crutches much later, if I remember correctly. That reminds me about the pain of love. We will have the experience of heartache etched into our memory. We'll remember names and details, because the emotional intensity of a breakup is so high. Sometimes it takes great power, forgiveness, and time to heal over a wound like that.

When we really open up our hearts, the unprotected and vulnerable parts can get damaged. That hurts. One fairly natural by-product, I think, are the "trap doors" that we will sometimes construct around our hearts to prevent future pain. This is sad, because it prevents us from loving -- which is what we were meant to do. God surely created us to love. He gave us the capacity to love unconditionally, which also leaves us vulnerable to disappointment, heartache, and pain.

I can imagine that God really risked a lot when he made mankind with a free will. He gave us the choice to love Him or not love Him. I won't say "hate," even though I should, because most of us would deny that we've ever hated God. If we were honest, though, we'd equate apathy and non-choice with hate ... or at least acknowledge that apathy and ignoring is very, very bad. Forcing us to love Him would be like an entire planet of Stepford Wives. That would not be fulfilling. What a dangerous, risky, and adventurous God! He gave us the ability to reject Him ... or love Him! How it must excite Him when we choose Him.

(10% of those reading, who would call themselves "Calvinists" or "pre-destined" people have possibly just checked out of this discussion. Too bad.)

Subtle as a hemorrhage

Okay, today is the first day of the rest of the modern day right now virtual book club of the Soul Cravings variety. Let us begin with chapter one.

Troy Aikman, you just won the Super Bowl. What now?

"I'm going to Disneyland!"

Doug Van Pelt, you just finished the Sep/Oct issue of HM Magazine. What now?
"I'm going camping!"

Ahhh, yes. I sent most all the 80 pages of HM to the printer last night. There's just a couple of renegade advertising files missing (which will hopefully arrive in the next couple of days). It sure feels good to have this one done. It's quite the spectacular issue, in my humble opinion.

One of the photos inside might be the next "Worship At Full Volume" shirt design. Did I mention that this issue was going to be another Double "Flip" issue?
:?)

Soul Cravings.A1

I'd like to pause the journey through Exodus for awhile and go through a book that my friend (and pastor) and his wife gave me -- Soul Cravings, by Erwin Raphael McManus. Even though he has the name Erwin -- like Erwin Fletcher from the movie Fletch ... or maybe that's why -- I like this guy already.

So, if you'd like to pick up a copy somewhere (bookstore, library, etc), let's read it together and comment and argue and expound and laugh together. It'll be like a virtual book club. Only this one won't include a leader that forces you to comment. You can read and comment as you wish. No pressure. Sounds like fun to me. Anyone game?

awakenhumanity.org
thomasnelson.com
mosaic.org

PS The new issue of Revolver has a Marilyn Manson and Slayer cover story. While I respect both artists -- and really enjoy some of Manson's music; he's managed (could it be purposefully?) to disappoint/anger/disgust/amuse me with his comments. Both he and Slayer get into Christianity and certain characters, like Bob Larson. One even brings up that Tammy Faye Bakker was close to death. Without an ounce of respect, they belittle these public figures. I guess it's their right -- and they're no smarter or dumber than the average knucklehead kid that gets his/her "wisdom" (insert the word "foolishness" here) from pop culture and the fleeting rumors of the day. I wish Larson would've managed to engage Slayer when he went on the road with them for a Revolver article, "Desperately Seeking Satan."

It is with sadness that Tammy Faye Bakker, I understand, passed away this past week. I've been on deadline and out / away from most media and news. There is a joyous side to that news, though, as she is no doubt in the presence of Christ right now. I was pretty moved watching Jay Bakker's DVD documentary (from the Sundance Channel show, One Punk Under God). No matter what one thinks about Jay's recent theological change regarding a very controversial issue, one must respect the fact that he displays a very profound level of Christ-likeness. How? By loving his mom the way he does. My goodness, his mother has become a punching bag for so much mockery (and, let's face it, hatred) that it becomes scandalous to hang out and associate with her -- much less love her. She is a unique character, that's for sure, but in the documentary she shares so much motherly wisdom and love back at her son ... and her painful fight and resistance to the ugly disease of cancer is there for all to see. I'm deeply moved by Jay's love for his mother. I really see Christ's love shining supernova bright in those actions. Wow.

Laughing At Doug

If anyone in heaven (or even nearby in a field ... with binoculars) was watching me last night -- they had to be laughing at me quite a bit. I don't know if saints look down here; but we know angels do (and they are amazed by us and the grace we are given) and our Father does. I have a friend who's convinced that the saints could care less about what goes on here. "They're too enthralled with what's going on in Heaven, dude!" He would say. I don't exactly buy that. The list of "Hall of Faith" members in Hebrews and then the verse, "Since you are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses..." leads me to believe that they witness what we're doing ... and that we're running a figurative "race" down here.

Well, in order to "unwind" from constant deadline pressures here last night, I decided to spend the last several minutes of daylight to get the riding lawnmower going and trim down the paths I've cut out of the property (for walking, running or riding). After getting a good amount cut and widening the paths from the overgrown weeds (we've had record rainfall here in Central Texas this year), I decided I would check out the possibility of crossing the ravine into the other portion of pasture here. It wasn't likely that I could, as the soft mud would make it non-tresspassable, but when I got close I noticed a ton of rocks. There were so many rocks that the thought occured to me, 'Did someone show kindness to me by dumping a large number of rocks here -- to make it easier to pass over?' That couldn't have been the case. The massive rushing waters carrying all those rocks over was more likely.

I decided to lift up the cutting blades (deck) and make a run for it. I soon found out that it was too muddy. I got out to push and was sinking on the rocks! It must've been just a shallow layer of rocks. Oh boy, did I get muddy. I walked back to the office and retrieved some long 2' x 6' boards and placed them under the tires, to see if that would help. After much work and thoughts of giving up (and lots of prayer asking for God's help, and admitting that I got myself in a silly mess), I was able to lift the back tires and shove it forward onto an "island" of non-sinking rocks. It looked passable to go up the next hill, but then I was stuck again.

I walked over to my neighbor's house to ask if he'd pull my mower out of the mud. I didn't have any ropes. He wasn't home. That saved me some embarrassment. When I came back I latched onto (and then abandoned) the idea of using one of my garden/sprinkler hoses to tow the mower out of the ravine with my car -- a small VW bug. I figured the strain and weight of that mower would rip the hose fittings right out of the hose. I found a metal dog leash/wire thing encased in plastic and tried to see if that was long enough. It wasn't. The drive around the fields on the path I cut in the car wasn't as easy as I thought. There was some slippage, which concerned me about the possibility of getting both vehicles stuck. Oh boy.

There is a tow bar in the back of the bug for towing it (not using the car to tow stuff), and it wasn't allowing me to slip the hose through with the nozzle/fitting end, so I doubled the hose over and pulled the flexible part through. There were two holes under the seat of some secure parts of the mower that I fed the hose through there. I had the car far away on top of a hill (as I wasn't about to try any hill climbing in this mud). There was enough slack in the hose to make a loop and use the fittings to close the loop. I was worried about the strain yanking those fittings right out, but the whole plan actually worked! I was able to pull the mower up the hill, then drive it back to the office and then the car.

Wow. I felt like McGyver -- using a garden hose to tow a riding lawnmower out of the mud. Ha ha ha.

The Perfect Word

I'm still a strong believer in a good word at the right time. I think sometimes God uses us in cool ways -- sometimes when we're obedient to Him and other times just randomly -- by having us say something that is perfect timing for the ears that hear it. I think that is kind of what a "prophetic edge" is. It's God's special timing and touch, supplying us with just the right thing to say.

While I still believe in this strongly (and love it when it happens), I believe I learned a lesson recently that really adds some perspective to it. I think the perspective is like the parable of the seeds and the sower. The seed was the "Word of God." Now, if you stop right there, that phrase will sink in. We are not God. Trying to speak for God is a scary thing. But if and when God does utter something through your lips (it does happen, let's not even argue that) it is a divine thing. It is special. It is kind of like a little miracle. It's powerful. But Jesus pointed out that not everyone is ready to hear what you have to say. Some of the seed fell on rocky soil, where it couldn't take root and didn't bear fruit and grow. Some of the seeds did produce growth, but that growth was choked out by weeds (the worries of the world). And some seed fell on good soil, which produced rich results.

So, sometimes I can say just the right thing (which is an exciting feeling), but it not have the effect I desired. I cannot control another person. Even if I somehow provide for them just what they need to hear -- God's wisdom for the moment -- they can choose to ignore it, or they might be distracted or messed up even, and not hear it.

Going back to a past event earlier this year... I had a conversation with a friend who had told his wife that he wanted a divorce. Let's call this friend "George." In that first conversation about this, I used some strong language to get his attention and even brought up the similarities between suicide and divorce -- people giving up hope.

I had written a song with my old band (Lust Control) called "Don't Kill You." Some of the lines were about this lack of hope:

"Don't kill you; let someone else see through the fog..."
and
"Don't kill you; it might clear up next year."

Sometimes, when things are bleak, it can appear that they'll never get better. That's when a lack of hope turns to despair. When one spouse thinks that their marriage is hopeless and will never get better, they've lost the "vision" to see that maybe a year from now they'll be basking in the joy of perseverance and the strength of making it through trials together. I had hoped that my friend would have the faith and hope to imagine him being fulfilled with his wife in the future. Even though he told me that I'd given him much to think about, it didn't appear that he took my advice. Months later he took things a million steps farther and killed himself.

While I haven't really been dealing with guilt over this (I'm pretty sure I haven't felt that), it did kind of put a dent in my belief that a perfect word was like a perfect weapon -- it'll do a miracle every time.

I really do believe, look for and long for those perfect words to share at the right time (forcing them at the wrong time stinks -- that's almost like saying the wrong thing). But perfect words have to be heard and acted upon; and that's where the responsibility to the messenger or spokesperson ends. You can't really force someone to change.

I recently watched Black Snake Moan, which was like an old, dirty South story with the same moral lesson. You can reach out to someone and try to help -- and it's a beautiful thing when it's received -- but the other person has to make the changes with their will and their choice.

Interesting, huh?

Santa Maria! Madre de Dios!

Sometimes I'll be silling and repeat emotional lines from movies; or clean expletives from the same.

Here is a jpg of a front page article that ran here week before last. What a surprise. It might be hard to read, but you should still be able to see that freak weilding the Daisy Rock guitar.

Ave Maria, FL and HEAVY METAL

So the news is reporting that an "all-Catholic" town is opening in Southwest, Florida. In the center of the town is a giant Catholic church building and a Catholic University is being built there, too. Lots of Catholics are moving in and the ACLU is worried.

The great thing about this country (I know I sound like an old man that wears dark socks with short pants when I start a sentence like that) is that we have the freedom to build communities like this. If we wanted to start a community called Iron Maiden, with streets named after songs and invited shops that sold studded leather arm bands and clubs that booked metal acts to come and do business, we could. The great thing about being a follower of Christ is that we are commanded (by His example and His teachings) to live at peace with all men, if that is possible. (See, even the Bible has realistic expectations, knowing that some people are "difficult" and they can prevent reconciliation with their choices). I am happy to co-exist with an atheist or a Buddhist or a Muslim or a Jewish person or a Wiccan.

I would like to say something here: I love Buddhists. I really do. They are a peace-loving people. I honestly respect their religion. They strive to walk in wisdom and will most often be slow to react. Their core value system is working hard (mentally and even physically) to be at peace with the universe (and that includes people) around them. Yes, I do believe that demonic spirits can be summoned by their worship of a scroll; so I'm not saying that a disciple of Christ is to adopt Buddhist doctrine and absorb that faith teaching into theirs. I honestly believe that all the world's major religions reach a point of conflict when you follow out their core values and belief systems -- sometimes early on in the basic tenets espoused publically, and sometimes when you take the logical extension of what they teach. For example, Jesus taught His followers, who were later called "Christians" in the city of Antioch, that their God was a Personal God -- the only true God -- and One that can be known. Buddhists, some Native American beliefs, and possibly even some sects of Wicca, basically teach that everything -- all matter and space, including one's self -- is god. Those are diametrically opposed to the teachings of Christ. But you know what? Christians were not taught to destroy other religions. Paul even instructed his followers to not divorce an unbelieving spouse (which, although it's a stretch, could include a pantheistic spouse married to a Christian); but if the unbeliever wanted out, they could be free to go. Now, that, if nothing, shows a pattern of getting along with someone of a different faith. If the marriage covenant can include differing worldviews, then certainly a community can.

Tolerance is a funny word. The first thing that comes to mind for me when I hear it, if asked to define the word, is how my body can tolerate so much poison, medicine, or a drug like alcohol. My body has physical limits that it can take. There are defense mechanisms, like the liver and kidneys, built inside that dispose of the toxins from the body. If that individual level is exceeded, it can lead to death. To me, that's tolerance. It's "putting up with" or "tolerating" something that is toxic. It's very individual (which fits great into my allegory here), so what's toxic to one person (sugar, maybe) is not toxic for another. So, putting up with another person's religion means getting along with, but not necessarily embracing, that person and their faith and its practices.

It can be touchy and require wisdom on how this is lived out. I think it's pretty cool -- if you're going to err -- to choose in advance: "if we err, we will err on the side of grace." For instance, would you let your children have a seance or sacrifice a cat to Satan in one of their bedrooms in your house? Probably not. But if your neighbors were Buddhists that worshiped a scroll in a box mounted on their wall and they woke up in the middle of the night by ringing a bowl (like a bell) and started rubbing beads together in their hands and chanting to try and reach a blissful state (like one of my college roommates, by the way), would it be right for you to organize a petition with your neighbors to get "those Buddhists" kicked out of your neighborhood? Absolutely not! In my opinion, that would be an embarrassing example of some Christian people gone awry.

I'm not the first person you should call if you want to organize a boycott of something. While I'm not saying all boycotts are absolutely wrong and the concept should never be tried; I do loathe them and can easily imagine our Lord shaking His head and saying, "Children, children. You've got it all wrong. Why are you fighting those you perceive as enemies?" I truly think there's a better way. I do understand the reasoning behind some seemingly popular modern day boycotts, but I'm not a fan. Even if another group decides to push their agenda, using our rights as US citizens and consumers of its services and businesses, there's gotta be another way. Sometimes we do have to fight; but I think it should be a last resort. I am so very grateful that we fought against slavery in this country. I do believe that the practice of abortion in this country is a terrible thing that should be a crime instead of a "protected right." (Whoops, I just got some people mad at me!) But there are other ways of treating your enemies than resistance and fighting and boycotts.

One small example would be heavy metal magazines. I'm not a fan of using porn stars or scantily clad female models to sell magazines or metal music. Some of my competitors practice this to some degree. Am I for a boycott against these magazines! Heck no! I'm more for publishing my own magazine that has differenct stances and morals and angles in my effort to sell magazines. Just let me offer my magazine alongside theirs and let the consumer choose.

If a group of Muslims bought a bunch of property out here in Taylor, Texas and wanted to start a Muslim community with a mosque in the center and new businesses popped up with Arabic spelling all around, and lots of Muslims moved in, I would be happy and perceive it as my call to embrace my new neighbors. Would I choose that scenerio? Probably not. Would I resist it if it happened? I don't think that would best represent my faith, as explained at length above. Would I freak out and protest if the FBI watched these people's activities closely? No. 9/11 has given us some reason to "wake up." I think "racial profiling" is okay. I do not think police brutality or hassling people is okay, though. If the tables were turned (and some Christians believe this will happen in our lifetime) and followers of Jesus were submitted to "racial profiling," then it would be a hassle. If policemen pulled me over for no reason and took me down to jail and held me there for some weird lawful loophole that allowed my arrest without legal justification and/or they abused every chance to hassle me and confiscated my property and just made my life miserable, I would not like it. I would try to fight back in a Jesus-led way (peacefully, seeking His wisdom on the best methods and His guidance on if and when to resist at all). There is a difference between staying alert and "racial profiling" that doesn't invade my rights as a US citizen and the abusive and brutality of "racial profiling" gone amuck. Anyone who abuses their state-given (and, according to the Bible, their God-given) authority is being a jerk and should be stopped. That kind of bullying makes most all of us sick. For some reason, the very term "racial profiling" makes most of us conjure images in our heads of police brutality. I'm not sure why, but that label has become emotionally charged and saddled with that image. It's very difficult to enforce the law in today's day and age, but if we try to force some unrealistic utopian ideas upon our law enforcement agencies to prevent an extreme and end up creating loopholes for criminals and mass murders to get away with crap, then we're dumb.

And then I was listening to a great live album on the way to work this morning. The band UFO, in my opinion, should be held in the same league, at least, as Led Zeppelin. If we're going to list any other bands (which, begrudgingly, we should) alongside Zeppelin, there would be The Beatles, The Rolling Stones and even The Who up there. I think UFO should be on that list. But they never really broke through in the US. Their live album, Strangers In The Night (which I truly think is probably the best live album of all time), still stands up to the test of time. This is unlike other old favorites, like the Tygers of Pan Tang, or even some Triumph and Kiss albums. This album was probably one of those "doctored" albums called "live" with overdubs and such; but why argue with the great sounds. One thing I appreciate now more than before are the great rhythms that hold these songs (in between the most expressive guitar solos from Michael Schenker) together. Tunes like "Natural Thing" and "Mother Mary," which have often only bided the listener by waiting for the "hits" of the album, like "Doctor, Doctor" and "Only You Can Rock Me," still stand up as strong. I can see why many fans of modern rock today take the whole "indie rock snob" approach when it comes to a band "breaking it big," and that fan discarding their old "friend" for another, more obscure band. I can share that sense in a way, even when it comes to some old classic rock bands that I still enjoy (and play air guitar to on my steering wheel on the way to work, trying to move the fingers on my left hand as if they're bending notes like the great Schenker did all the time -- what feeling that guy has). I appreciate hits like "Doctor, Doctor" and other tunes, like "Carry On Wayward Son," but they are my least favorite songs on those albums. The reason is, I guess, is that I've heard them too much. I associate them, maybe, with other people's property; whereas I "became personal" with other tunes, like "Miracles Out Of Nowhere" (from Leftoverture) and "I'm A Loser" and "Love To Love." Those songs are the highlights for me. Sometimes the hits, too, are too basic and predictable as songs -- chord structures and all so calculated and simple. I mean, who still likes the song "Smoke On The Water?" It's just become kind of dull to our senses, hasn't it?

Earlier this spring I went to dinner with Bloodgood and was at the table with David Zaffiro, Oz Fox and Paul Jackson. Behind us was Rex Carroll. After dinner as we stood and mingled, I posed this question to those guitarists, as I realized it was a rare opportunity to have them all in the same conversation: "Okay, out of these three guitarists (which is my personal trio of the best), which one is the greatest -- Frank Marino, Uli Roth, or Michael Schenker?" Each had their own different answer. None had all of those three in their top 3 list. Rex Carroll, however, had Schenker at the top of his list (which also included Yngwie Malmsteen) as greatest guitar player; simply because the guy "played with feeling." That, for sure, is Schenker's trademark.

Would I get bored easily with a new community called Schenkersville, Texas? You bet I would. Would I like to visit it a few times? Of course!

Tomfest '97

I think I'm going this year (as long as I can find an affordable airfare).
Been listening to a new boxset of 70s hits (Jamie Lee Rake would be SO jealous!), and "Crocodile Rock" was on there, along with some real gems.

Long nights crying by the record machine

...dreaming of my chevy and the old routine,
but the biggest trhill I ever got was doin' a thing called the "crocodile rock..."

hehe

Whoo! Just like my daughters' growing up (I often ask if they will stop growing and just freeze-frame at their current age. They always say, "No."), the deadline moves on. Looks like the score I keep on the wipe/marker board in the office meeting area (which now reads: "DVP-2, Deadline-2") is going to soon read: "DVP-2, Deadline-3," as we'll have to delay the magazine by 3 days. This is mostly due to ad sales being too low. Usually this is never much of an issue, but most of the record companies are saying "no" to ads. We are so thankful for our faithful "mainstays" who must understand the need to reach out and market to our very specialized (and devoted) audience -- labels like Tooth & Nail and Mono Vs Stereo get big high-fives these days.

The fact that Amanda's hard drive pooped out yesterday (and me spending a couple hours then and today trying to revive it) did not help things. Nor does the sore neck, etc. It'll be weird seeing the interns leave before the final day of deadline (as originally and normally planned), but I am not in control. There's no reason to stress out over the things I can't control.

My family is planning a camp out with some friends of ours the weekend after deadline, so as long as this doesn't interfere with that, we should be okay. I hope I can really relax and have fun at that campout. I could use the rest.
:?)

Maybe I need to take a year's sabbath from HM Magazine, like the farmers in Old Testament times. Wouldn't that be nice -- to take a break from my work for a whole year. I wonder if I'd go crazy or get antsy about writing, etc. I'd probably try to finish my novel and get the Rock Stars, Volume 2 book (and that children's book I wrote a couple years ago) all published.

Am listening to the new Bad Brains album. It's very interesting ... and familiar. I remember seeing them open for Living Colour many years ago. That was a hard and intense show. HR's voice, of course, sounds very familiar, because I hear it so often (I play POD more than Bad Brains around here) on, like, the Satellite album.

The Great Exodus.24

This chapter starts with an announcement that Moses got a special invitation from the Lord to come visit Him. Aaron and 70 elders of Israel went with, but only Moses approached the Lord. The people were to stay away.

Verse 3 then talks about what happened when Moses told the people all the Lord's words and laws. The response was good. "We will do everything the Lord has said to do," they replied. Moses built 12 pillars the next morning and had the young men offer burnt offerings and sacrificed young bulls. It says: "Then he took the Book of the Covenant and read it to the people." I bet the timeline for these events (the last few chapters) were several days, if not months. Otherwise, how would this book (or scroll) get printed? Afterwards Moses took blood and sprinkled the people. I wonder if he walked through the crowd or if they single-filed up to him to be sprinkled (kind of like some of our church services at times)? He said, "This is the blood of the covenant that the Lord has made with you in accordance with all these words."

That reminds me of another statement made by someone (on a Thursday night about 2,000 years ago).

Then the amazing thing hinted at earlier happened: "Moses and Aaron, Nadab and Abihu, and the seventy elders of Israel went up and saw the God of Israel. Under His feet was something like a pavement made of sapphire, clear as the sky itself."

That affirms the description of Heaven from the book of Revelation, about a sea of glass. Wow. That must have been some sight!

"But God did not raise His hand against these leaders of the Israelites; they saw God, and they ate and drank. The Lord said to Moses, 'Come up to Me on the mountain and stay here, and I will give you the tablets of stone, with the law and commands I have written for their instruction.'"

I guess God brings up the point about "not raising His hand against them," because seeing the Lord's presence is a big deal. The end of the chapter describes what this all looked like to the Israelites: "the glory of the Lord looked like a consuming fire on top of the mountain."

It says Moses entered the cloud and stayed up there for forty days and forty nights. Wow. I bet THAT was some kind of experience!

She turned me into a newt!"

(sees funny reaction from King Arthur)
"I got betta!"

I do feel much better today. Thank you for the prayers and encouragement.

After a pretty solid night's sleep; and 4 Ibuprofen tablets and gargling with a Hydrogen Peroxide and Water mix (did you know that's helpful in clearing phlegm from the throat? I didn't. Last time I used that stuff was to get my dog to vomit after he swallowed a pill on the floor...)

I have much greater range of motion in my neck; and my throat isn't as clogged up. If life was a football game, I'd probably tell the coach I was ready to play. I'm not totally confident that collisions with my helmet would leave my neck well, of course. Maybe I could just be the quarterback and wear one of those red or orange vests that told everyone else not to hit me. hehe

I'll be honest -- I'm feeling depressed

I'm glad that feelings are temperal and not eternal.

My physical body isn't doing too well. I'm not sure what's up, but my neck is stiff. It hurts to turn the head either direction. I went to a doctor last Monday, and he said it looked like whiplash; and he gave me some stretching and strengthening exercises. Those are good. Over the weekend it got so stiff that I could not rest or sleep. It now even hurts to swallow. That's weird. It's possible that I have something else going bad at the same time (though my lymph nodes don't feel swollen to me). I went to a chiropractor this morning. She said my neck was "locked up," and that it needed rest and time to get better. I'm glad she wasn't of the opinion that she could just twist or crack my spine into submission. She said it was a defense mechanism when the muscles all do that.

Ouch! It hurts.

It causes some problems for me this week -- which is the last 3 days, 19 hours, 38 minutes and 12 seconds left until deadline. This is usually the week that I push myself (mind and body) to perform at a high level to finish the magazine. Our ad sales are real low again (though from last Wednesday to today the total balance rose a ways.

I am SO looking forward to the time beyond this where the pain isn't there anymore. At times like these I think I might be a bad candidate for torture. I'd probably tell secrets to avoid pain if someone was torturing me with special tactics that people have learned over time to acutely inflict lots of pain.

One thing that's good about pain is that it at least gets my attention. I'm fairly aware of what's going on around me and a tad sensitive to the inclination to pray and worship ... even if it's brief moments.

The Great Exodus.23

Laws of Justice and Mercy
That's a great heading for chapter 23. God's divine guidelines continue, with rules about daily life, like:

Don't spread false reports.
Don't help a wicked man by being a malicious witness.
Don't follow the crowd in doing wrong.
Don't side with the crowd and pervert justice when giving testimony in court.
Don't show favoritism to a poor man in his lawsuit.
If you come across your enemy's ox or donkey, help it out (be nice to your enemy in that way).
Don't deny justice to poor people in your lawsuits.
Don't put an innocent man to death.
Don't accept a bribe.
Don't oppress an alien; "you yourselves know how it feels to be aliens, because you were aliens in Egypt."

Once again God reminds His people to remember their own mistreatment and warns them not to dish out the same kind of treatment. I guess that's part of the sinful nature of man -- to treat others the way we are treated. I guess it's easier to be nice to others when they're nice to us; but it's wrong to be mean back (or "respond in the same spirit") to those who are mean to us.

There's also some unique instructions on farming -- leaving the crops alone after six years of harvesting. This seventh year the land rests and also poor people and wild animals can benefit from it. This is interesting, because some of God's people might sense or feel that they're being taken advantage of in this seventh year, but God says it's okay. It's His command, so we'd be wise to listen.

Three annual festivals are enacted here:

The Feast of Unleavened Bread
The Feast of Harvest
The Feast of Ingathering

God also tells His people that He's going to send an angel before them, to guard them along the way and to bring them to a place He has prepared. He says:

"Pay attention to him and listen to what he says. Do not rebel against him; he will not forgive your rebellion, since My Name is in him. If you listen carefully to what he says and do all that I say, I will be an enemy to your enemies and will opposes those who oppose you."

God lets them know that His angel will go ahead of them and bring them into the land of the Amorites, Hittites, Perizzites, Canaanites, Hivites and Jebusites, wiping them out. He tells His people to destroy their sacred stones and worship artifacts and not to follow their practices. He promises that His blessing will be upon their food and water; that He will take away sickness from among them, and none will miscarry or be barren in their land. "I will give you a full life span."

Wow. Careful instructions to obedience and a blessing.

God tells them He will basically guide them into the promised land, but not do so overnight -- little by little so that they can manage their territory, etc. He warns them not to make covenants with these lands they are to take over.

The Truth Behind "The Idiot's Prayer"

A friend of mine told me yesterday morning that he felt like an idiot. Even though he's a doctor, I thought I'd be funny and "prescribe" the following prayer, which I made up. Once I saw it typed out, a "get famous" scheme popped into my head, and I realized I should post this on the site ... maybe it'll spread far and wide. haha

Yesterday was a good day for us at HM -- really! We're working hard on the new/next issue. Seeing the ad sales total kind of took the wind out of my sails, though. All this hard work might have to be paused as I scramble to try and help boost/make ad sales higher. It's the backbone of a magazine -- ad sales are... Hopefully we can double the total we currently have ... and fast!

The Idiot's Prayer

Lord, I suck.
I am a total idiot.
Thanks for loving me in spite of myself.
Please lift me up and let me dwell in Your presence.
Thank You that I am in good company, as some of those disciples sure seemed to suffer from similar dumb-ness that I do.
Amen.

©2007 Doug Van Pelt (Anyone can pray this prayer, but if you put it on a t-shirt or placque, we should split the profits.)

Tony Shore's Early Christmas Goose

Wow, a day without consistent internet service is like a day without orange juice. What kind of coffee does Frank Hart drink anyway? What is Kemper Crabb going to say in his next column? Where has hxc.com gone to? Why does Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds have an eerie attraction to me?

The Great Exodus.22

If someone breaks into your house at night, and you kill him/her; you are not guilty of bloodshed. But, once the sun comes up (and, presumably, you can identify him/her) and you kill that person, then you are guilty of bloodshed.

Wow, the law God gave to His people can be tough!
Thieves can be sold as slaves to make restitution (if they're broke). Firestarters must make restitution (pay back) for the damage they cause. If a man seduces a virgin and sleeps with her, he must pay the "bride price" (or dowry) to the girl's father). Even if the father won't let her marry the guy, that dude must still pay the bride price. A sorceress is supposed to be killed; as is a person that has sex with an animal or a person who worships a false god.

"Do not mistreat an alien or oppress him, for you were aliens in Egypt."
This, like many of the other laws and guidelines, is very sensible. I like the fact that God reminds His people where they used to come from. Nothing seems much worse than someone who does something bad or is from a certain place which causes him/her to be treated bad and when they are forgiven or delivered they turn around and treat others the same way. There's something wicked and mean about that. When you go through a hard time, you should be able to empathize with another person going through the same thing; not try to make that person's life harder.

I am behind

Wow. Time is a flying. Even after a somewhat relaxing weekend (spent recovering data from a notebook gone bad as well as playing volleyball with some church friends), it seems that life (and the HM deadline) steamroll ahead.

We should have had the new issue updated on the website by now (but the rush of getting ready for Cornerstone and the dilemma of trying to solve the "subscribers don't all have their passwords" problem kinda prevented me from getting that taken care of. Now we're in deadline for the next issue -- with only two weeks to get it all done.

God is good and it's good to know we're in His hands (whether we want to be there or acknowledge it or not).

I thought of the Prodigal Son story this weekend and how the exploits of the wayward, younger, prodigal son were known by those in the vicinity. It says he went to a "faraway place" (if I remember correctly), which I'm told doesn't always translate a long distance, but rather the place of the Gentiles. I'm reminded of the Paris Hilton exploits that are all over the news. I have not been paying attention, but I've ignored plenty of instances where her name was in the news. When the older brother is ranting to his father after the prodigal returns, he points out all the rotten things the little brother had done. Apparently is was big news how this young man was foolishly spending and wasting the inheritance that he demanded (which was an amazing "I wish you were dead" kind of insult to his father) and somehow received. If it were a modern day parable, I'm sure his exploits would have been fodder for the tabloids and late night comedians. We'd all be sick of hearing about him. His return would probably not make the paper, though, as sometimes restoration stories aren't "juicy" enough -- except for those papers who value "human interest" stories highly.

I like that kind of news sometimes. I remember being in Australia and hearing a news report on the radio about puppies being born; about a garage fire in which a guy lost his Harley. It amazed me how "small town" this news seemed. It made me feel good that there was not a lot of evil, violent, crime news for them to report -- so it came down to simple life stuff. That's precious.

Life can be really different depending on where you live, that's for sure. Some of us live in a slower context; and others live in the hustle and bustle of inner city living. Both parties can certainly learn from each other, I'm sure.

I received an invitation / letter of interest about travelling to Kenya early next year. That is very exciting. I hope that comes about. Lord willing, I will blog extensively about that trip.

Do you wanna know who's on the cover of the next issue of HM?

Ironic Sign

On the way to & fro the Cornerstone Festival, we saw the following signs (in both Illinois and Missouri, I think):

HIT A WORKER
$10,000 FINE
& LOSE YOUR LICENSE

Okay, that's a stiff fine and a penalty, but what about the fact that you're taking a human life?

The Great Cornerstone Experience.2

We arrived at Cornerstone Festival on Sunday night -- to have a day and a night to prepare before things kicked off on Tuesday. While there was probably a generator or two going on Monday, along with some worship at the beach, I don't remember catching any shows until Tuesday's "Tooth & Nail Day" started...

Birmingham, Alabama's Fixed 'Til Tuesday was good. Their frontman had that typical "hunchback frontman" look, bobbing and weaving to the beats as he sang and growled. "This is the most brutal song known to man," he said as he introduced a rather heavy song called "Red Basket Club." They indeed brought the breakdowns. "We gather today in the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ," he said. As well as: "C'mon! Get ready for some devil bashin'" (to which he then growled then sang.

My favorite Pit Move for Day 1 was either the Shadow Boxing by the Shaun White lookalike; or the "Hop On A Foot & Windmill/Box," like a two-step/shadowbox combo...

Once Nothing played with a machine gun like metal tightness. They really got the crowd into it, with lots of raised hand clapping. One moment featured the frontman tilting his head back in full groove and drew out an "aaaaaahhsweet!"

Children 18:3 played loose yet tight, or "tightly loose" as Zep liked to say. Frontman David Hostetter was spinning around with his locks of matted hair following and his fellow vocalist and sister flying around the stage on bass, throwing head stocks up and then yanking them down. It was very visual and adds to their shows. The desperate and out of control element I'd experienced at previous C18:3 shows was slightly missing, I thought.



A Hill To Die Upon played a very intense and tight metal, with two guitars and no bass.

It was fun to "club hop" like it's SXSW or something, and visit other tents. With Faith Or Flames playing full-on extreme metal on one stage and As Cities Burn playing some ambient melodic rock to Eleventy Seven's pop punk.



I saw Harry Gore playing on the impromptu stage, with some blues jamming that included some vibrato bar squeezing and even playing with his teeth. I saw him set up in the food court with an open guitar case playing for tips.

Becoming The Archetype had a circle pit on T&N Night that went from the front all the way around the sound board. Wow.

The Devil Wears Prada played an encore on Wednesday night, where they demaned of the crowd "Everyone move!" and the circle went from stage to back around the sound board, with lots of enthusiastic running and rollicking.

The Showdown pulled out their heavy, groove onslaught. It was fun, too, as always.

Showbread was fun, even though they were a bit lax on the visuals (no band uniforms this time).



widows&orphans played a full set on Wednesday, which capitalized on the frontman's improved stage moves, adding drama and energy to their show.

Crimson Moonlight played some new material. Pilgrim's shrieks and the bassist's growls sounded good together. It even had a punk rock-like breakdown in the song. The drummer was super tight and fast.

Michael Pritzl played a lot throughout the fest (from his solo gig on the Gallery Stage to a Violet Burning show on same stage/same day to his Roe vs. Pritzl performance and a couple worship sets -- on the beach and at the Anchor Stage). During his first solo set he was taking requests, which was fun. Our family enjoyed eating dinner as the Violets played "The Sun And The Sky" only to stop with a power outage and then continue on with the song later.

Flatfoot 56's performance on Wednesday night at the Underground Stage was pretty memorable -- with lots of dancing, moshing, skanking, and otherwise lots of crowd movement. There were several flags flying around the pit as well -- some pirate, some legitimate countries.



Page France spent their time prior to their set ironing out last-minute sound questions and then they just launched into their set -- leaving their sad, expectant host for the evening with no introduction, nothing to say, and no t-shirts to throw out. (sniff, sniff)



Gasoline Heart played a spirited set, ending with lots of craziness and people on stage, dancing and singing. There was the seeming destruction of a drumset, too. The next day a friend of mine wrote me a note with four questions he wanted answered. His first question was (pardon his French): "Who the hell is Gasoline Heart?" He didn't know much about them prior to seeing their show and he was duly impressed. If the band had ten albums in its catalog, this guy would be buying them all as soon as his paycheck allowed, of this I am sure.

I went down to the mainstage for much of Thursday night with my daughter to see Skillet and Anberlin. Even though I like Anberlin better, I thought Skillet's performance and sound was the better of the two. Their Linkin Park-ish melodies translated well over the large sound system. Anberlin's set was good, but Stephen Christian's vocals didn't seem to get the prominence in the mix that their overall sound kind of demands. The melodies were still there, but his loud vocals are what give Anberlin's sound its bounce. Even in front of the soundboard it seemed to lack. Ah well, it was still great seeing their images flashed up on the jumbo screen.



Wilderness of Tekoa cancelled for some reason, and they were replaced by another band (whose name I forgot to write down) that had strung big balloons on stage and played a cool mix of simple melodies and laid-back chiming guitars. They are called All the Day Holiday, and they were great.



Sophia played several shows at generator stages and the Anchor Stage. I was able to finally catch one of them at the Great White Light Stage. The singer was sporting a busted face, which had stitches in it from a guest vocal run-in with a drum mic the previous day. The very much interacted with the crowd and went all-out, but I was slightly disappointed in the actual sounds not being as bright, brilliant, tight, and full as their excellently-produced 5-song EP. They showed that they have substance, for sure, but I was hoping for a knockout punch.



Whitecross opened up the 80's metal night on the HM Magazine Stage on Friday. I had approached this idea when I booked the stage with much trepidation. I was told that these older veteran musicians are hard to please, they ask for too much, and it could be a hassle. "You have to get the right combination of them wanting to do it," I was told. Well, the risk paid off, as all four bands brought the rock. Les Carlsen and Oz Fox joined Whitecross on stage for their final song -- "In The Kingdom." It was funny, because Les called me over shortly before it started and desperately asked me what the words are. I had sang this song with the band on the mainstage many many years ago, but all I could remember was the final word or syllables from each chorus line -- something like "strong" and "sing-along." Les made up for any loss of words with enthusiastic moves.



Bride started with the killer groove of "Would You Die For Me?" which made it clear that these guys had something good to offer. Troy riffed into the opening notes of "Stranglehold" during the intro of "Hired Gun." They truly brought the rock and sounded like they never missed a beat as a live band (the rhythm section of Jerry McBroom, Lawrence Bishop and Troy Thompson is hard to beat). The ever controversial Dale Thompson kept quiet about his presidential candidacy and his universalist theology, just mentioning Jesus as "the savior for all mankind -- especially those that believe." It's hard to knock the guy for quoting Scripture, even if it is the "pet verse" of those that share that theology.



X-Sinner was spot on, sounding just like they used to (and a lot like AC-DC) -- even without Greg Bishop on guitar.



Bloodgood sounded great, like a young band trying to get noticed or something. Even though the individual members might've found a moment where they made a small mistake somewhere during the set -- I bet most people that saw the show felt like it was darn near perfect. During the song "Seven" Oz riffed a little "Purple Haze." He also earlier launched into "To Hell With The Devil" during "S.O.S."

Disciple played an evening encore -- with two guitarists instead of Brad Noah, who is recuperating with some back problems.

mewithoutYou put on another great show, carrying the crowd along with them for the entire show -- complete with cloud props and bubbles.



I peeked in and saw a couple of songs from Ozzy-clone Dbeality, which features David Benson on vocals and guest drummer Robert Sweet. Unfortunately, it didn't sound as riveting as an Ozzy show.

Lost Ocean helped close out the "ambient" night on the HM Magazine Stage on Saturday with lots of lilting piano, cool drum patterns and melodic songs.

Hundred Year Storm had promoted their show quite extensively, but they still had to compete with Emery, Norma Jean and Underoath on the mainstage. Yet the audience filled up quite a bit for their show, which featured a nice movie/film/projection on a giant screen and 3 or 4 tv sets.

Sleeping At Last pulled up to the festival right before HYS went on, relieving us of the worry of a no-show. They had incredible problems trying to get rid of some noise in the directbox signal per the stage/monitor mix, which cause their set to start at about 10:40 instead of 10pm. They played a full set anyway (with the permission of the great sound crew -- Aaron and Sammy -- who did a great job all week on this stage). Sleeping At Last is so good. Hopefully the world will keep hearing their songs on tv shows, radio, etc. They mix a lot of samples, keys, piano, acoustic and electric guitars into their dreamy sound.

The Great Exodus.21

Moses, Moses, Moses...
In Exodus 21, God gives Moses details about the laws that are to govern His people. A few examples are:

If you buy a Hebrew servant, he is to serve you six years, but go free on the seventh. If he brought a wife with him originally, she is to go with him. If the master gives the slave a wife and she bears him children, though, the mother and children stay with the master.

"But if the servant declares, 'I love my master and my wife and children and do not want to go free,' then his master must take him before the judges. He shall take him to the door or the doorpost and pierce his ear with an awl. Then he will be his servant for life."

This is where the custom of being a "bond servant" comes from. While it has some crazy origins (what kind of tough choice would that be for anyone?), it is a beautiful concept of someone willingly giving their life in service to their master. Some Christians wear an earring, ear sleeve or other such ornament to signify that they have chosen to be God's bond slave.

There's some other interesting laws about a bull that gores people (the owner isn't responsible the first time, but if the bull gets a reputation for goring and killing people, he must keep it penned up or pay with his life. Kidnapping, murder, and even cursing your parents are all capital crimes punishable by death. If one fights and injures another but the wounded person gets up soon, they are not punished; but the hitter is responsible for the lost wages, etc if the recuperation takes time.

These are very interesting and practical guidelines that the Creator of the universe gave to His people on a small part of earth. It's cool that He cared so much that He would give them safety rules to help them live life.

Heavy sigh

My notebook suffered some sort of setback while at Cornerstone. I don't know if it was its time to go ... or if that piece of "hardware" that loaded itself onto the notebook when I hooked up to that wireless network did it. It's hard to say. It's changing how I do things, that's for sure. The immediate bummer part is all those emails in my inbox that may never get read. Were some of them stories being turned in by writers? Was it vital info? I bought a hard drive enclosure at Fry's yesterday and will try to save this critical data (which would be wonderful), and then I'll turn the notebook into Best Buy to take advantage of the extended warranty I bought for the thing (I'd highly recommend the extended warranty, which is usually just about $100, and it's almost paid for by the battery replacement that runs about that much anyway). I am convinced they'll wipe the hard drive in fixing it, so this is a necessary first step for me.

As the deer panteth for the water...

...so my trailer takes its life.

On the way home from Cornerstone Festival this year (about 90 minutes away from the grounds ... probably just as Klank was ripping out the last notes of his (I heard) amazing set, a giant doe came dashing up through a ditch on the side of the road. We were probably sailing along at around 55 mph and "ka-whump!" we collided.

When I got out I thought of some silly movies where a deer was mad and attacked after such a collision. I tried to get out of the way, but I wasn't about to do something drastic, like swerve with a trailer at that high a speed, so I turned slightly. My wife said the deer was headed right for her window. When I last saw it, I thought we might have a chance of missing it. It took the passenger side mirror extension thing right off (we never found it) and made a large bulge/hole/mess in the passenger front side of the trailer -- right in front of the storage compartment. There was blood on the trailer, but the breakage of the wood/fiberglass was minimal. We didn't miss any travel time.

Too bad about that deer.

I've been out of commission for awhile now. I had PLANNED on blogging about the fest each day, but I guess there were other more important things to do, so my computer freaked out. My notebook is something I use a lot -- to do work from home and away on trips, etc. I might have to take it in for repair under warranty, but I'm worried that I can't back up my hard drive info before that happens. Yikes. I could lose a LOT of emails (a few hundred) that came in within the last week or so.

Oh well.
:?)

I hope to get busy back here on this blog soon.
Until Thursday, Lord willing...