Doug Van Pelt

The Great Divorce.13

The Dwarf Ghost argued with the Lady. He talked about being sent back to Hell. "No one sends you back," she said. "Here is all joy. Everything bids you stay." Apparently the Dwarf Ghost was the real man, but he was shrinking in size as his countpart, the "Tragedian" was overpowering his personality with negativity and doubt. The Lady begged him, "He is killing you. Let go of that chain. Even now."

It's interesting. There's Scripture where God addresses us as people: "'Even now,' declares the Lord." Steve Camp wrote a great song with that title.

The Lady gets emphatic: "Quick. There is still time. Stop it. Stop it at once."

"Stop what?"

"Using pity, other people's pity, in the wrong way. We have all done it on earth, you know. Pity was meant to be a spur that drives joy to help misery. But it can be used the wrong way round. It can be used for a kind of blackmailing. THose who choose misery can hold joy up to ransom, by pity. You see, I know now. Even as a child you did it. Instead of saying you were sorry, you went and sulked in the attic ... because you knew that sooner or later one of your sisters would say, 'I can't bear to think of him sitting up there alone, crying.' You used their pity to blackmail them, and they gave in in the end. And afterwards, when we were married ... oh, it doesn't matter, if only you will stop it."

The Dwarf Ghost disappeared, somehow absorbed by this Tragedian man. She addressed him and told him to come to Love, for she would not step out of this Love she now lived in. He was pretty much completely given over to himself. He would not bend his will and surrender to God. He defied God's rule. Then he just vanished. I presume he went to Hell.

The Lady was alone, but other Bright Spirits met her and sang songs of joy to her: "The Happy Trinity is her home; nothing can trouble her joy..." Even losing her husband and his stubborn will that opposed His Loving God could steal the joy away from her, for she lived in it. She gave herself over to God and His joy, which buoys her now.

C.S. Lewis gives an interesting explanation as to why the saints will not have sorrow for those in Hell -- even their loved ones:

"While it sounds merciful," he writes, "see what lurks behind it. The demand of the loveless and the self-imprisoned that they should be allowed to blackmail the universe: that till they consent to be happy (on their own terms) no one else shall taste joy: that theirs should be the final power; that Hell should be able to veto Heaven.

"...Either the day must come when joy prevails and all the makers of misery are no longer able to infect it; or else for ever and ever the makers of misery can destroy in others the happiness they reject for themselves."

It goes on to explain how Hell is smaller than one pebble of the earthly world. I recall the song by King's X: "Faith, Hope, Love," where a voice says at the end: "Listen to me very closely, there is more Heaven than Hell." I bet this book inspired that.

Check ignition and may God's love be with you...

"This is Ground Control to Major Tom..."

Man, this morning has been busy. A trip to Home Depot, Walmart and the Post Office preceded my commute to the office. I was craving a Monster (Blue) Energy Drink the whole time. I even went past some of those "impulse" aisles near the registers at Walmart to break down and pay $2 for one. Fortunately, they had none and my patience won out, since I had a can here. Lovely cold tasting boost of energy.
:?)

Spoon Man

Today was pretty cool. I had the chance to interview Chris Cornell of Soundgarden/Audioslave fame. It's not every day that I get to talk to someone who helped influence so many millions of people with a musical movement like this guy. I felt like I brought my "A-game" in terms of interview questions. I knew them pretty well, so I didn't have to read them from my list. The first one I asked was: "Austin, Texas... What are your thoughts each time you arrive in this city, and when you depart, as well as the random times you think back on this fine city." It went on from there and I had to stop before we got through all the questions. He talked, I listened. It was good.

I invited a friend of mine that I've known a long time to the show -- Paul Roraback. He left Seattle to tour with Grammatrain at a time when the Seattle rock stations would play Soundgarden right next to Scorpions. Then, when he returned from that tour in the mid-90s, those same stations wouldn't play anything old school metal-wise -- just grunge, grunge, and more grunge. We had fun hanging out. Since he moved here to Austin, we've spent more time talking on the phone than face-to-face, where we probably had more "face time" back when he lived in Seattle.

Stubb's BBQ was sold out, with 1,500 to 2,000 people there. Some familiar with both Soundgarden and Audioslave, and probably some there just familiar with Audioslave. Anyway, after romping through two Soundgarden classics to start the show, Chris Cornell said, "I had an interview today and the guy asked me what I thought about Austin, Texas the first time I came here. There was a story that time. Then he asked me what I thought about Austin when we departed..." I had to laugh. Just last week Rob Beckley of Pillar was mentioning HM Magazine from the stage ... and now this show. I'm going to start expecting this kind of treatment.
hahaha

I hope to get this interview, which I taped in stereo with the handy Griffin iTalk recorder, cleared for a future podcast, as well as the print interview.

Emmanuel

God is with us.
I was reminded of this in a small but cool way. While at GMA, I ran into a couple people that owe HM large amounts of money. The first guy apologized and promised to take care of it. The second guy was in a band that had broken up after the ads came out. He put a couple hundred bucks in my hand and pledged to take care of the entire debt. Another guy mentioned HM over and over while on stage in front of a room full of people. These were all examples of God seemingly humbling me. My thoughts were that God was showing Himself as faithful, taking care of and blessing me in unexpected ways.

Another lesson learned that made me chuckle was how I went from being popular and favored on Tuesday night and waking up Thursday to being reamed over the phone about missing an interview. Turns out this artist was very put out by his efforts to make the interview and I was a no-show. I thought I had not confirmed the scheduled time, but turns out it was I who made the mistake. It was a funny dynamic from happy/blessed to guilty/failure the very next day. This, too, was like God showing me He was there for the blessings as well as the failures.

It brings peace to your soul when you know that God is there -- good times or bad times.

GMA.4

Tuesday was a good day at GMA. After several face-to-face interviews for the podcast (with Emery, Demon Hunter, The Send, and Ruth), I went to a few shows. Besides being wined and dined by Provident Music Group (not literally) on an old paddle-wheel boat (The General Jackson), which went up and down the Cumberland River (I don't know my river geography, so that might be false information), while a slick presentation took place between games of artist bingo and a performance or two from Casting Crowns, etc. It was great to hang with folks like writer Andy Agryakis (sp?), John Thompson, Noah (Pillar guitarist), Troy Vest, and others. Then I ducked into the tail-end of another Tooth & Nail showcase in the Renaissance Ballroom.

I saw the last two songs of Ruth, which was cool, especially after the wonderful interview that took place earlier in the day. Ruth played a fairly mellow rock set with cool, smooth tunes. One of which was "Mr. Turner," which the singer Dustin had told me the story about (which gives encouragement for those who are concerned about a friend or loved one).

Seventh Day Slumber came on after being announced by T&N's owner, Brandon Ebel. The band strode onstage to the tune of that great gothic operatic chant that Ozzy used to use to open his shows (I can't recall the name of this famous and often-used epic). It's a powerful piece that really raises the tension and expectation in the room. The band came on strong, playing plenty of songs from its latest album. The big screen projected images of the band made the performance seem even bigger, which was cool.

Adie performed a couple songs before her husband, Jeremy Camp, took the stage. They both sounded quiet, cozy, and fairly "sweet," mixing worship and inspirational CHR-type songs/ballads.

Red pelted their audience with intensity later on in the night over at the Flicker/Essential Rock Night Showcase at the Mercy Lounge. Their mix of gothic and pop sensibilities and metal power sound pretty darn solid. They do a good job of delivering "the sound" that successful mainstream bands have to dial in to get noticed. "I Don't Wanna Be Afraid" sounded good, and the performance (just the like T&N Showcase) was extremely well lit. Red's singer had his shadow broadcast on the wall of the club at times, which was a cool, and possibly unexpected/unplanned effect. "Breathe" was their last song, and the band did a good job of wresting plenty of energy out of the audience and giving it back.

Kids In The Way have toughened up their sound (and look), adding more Cult / fist-pumping biker rock muscle and less snotty punk. Two new songs: "My Little Nightmare" and "Sugar" showed their new direction even more. "Sugar" had churning power riffs that fit nicely within the context of a melodic rocker.

Pillar were very high energy, slapping hands and flying through songs, only to take breaths and short rests between. "Everything" preceded "You Can't Bring Me Down," which were both extremely tight. Vocalist Rob Beckly threw his extended hands out to direct the band right as they stopped on a dime to end the song. Nice. "Awake" sounded good, and Rob closed his eyes as he leaned over the crowd, belting out the lyrics like he meant each an every one of them. He shared his heart prior to the last song and even dedicated "Fireproof" to their "good friend" Melba Jackson. That was a hoot.

The Great Divorce.12

In this chapter our man sees a procession of sorts honoring a lady. A bunch of boys and girls prance around her left and right. Our man is told that these weren't her biological children, but that she opened her heart to all the children that came across her path. These children received her love and loved their own parents more as a result. There were cats and dogs also, as she must have been kind to every cat or dog that came to her door. She shines like she abides in joy and love. She is truly happy in this place. The book says of her:

"The abundance of life she has in Christ from the Father flows over into them (the animals that were dancing around). It is like when you throw a stone into a pool, and the concentric waves spread out further and further. Who knows where it will end? Redeemed humanity is still young, it has hardly come to its full strength. But already there is joy enough in the little finger of a great saint such as yonder lady to waken all the dead things of the universe into life." Wow.

She soon encountered an "oddly shaped phantom," who must've been her husband on earth. He is a weird creature: a tall Ghost that was horribly thin and shaky, who led on a chain another Ghost "no bigger than an organ grinder's monkey." The lady apologized to the former mate for "all I ever did wrong and for all I did not do right since the first day we met, I ask your pardon."

It's interesting that she talks about the right things she didn't do. Not many people talk about that anymore. Sure, you can find people talking about doing wrong things, and find contrition over those sins, but how often do you hear about people confessing or repenting for not doing the right thing? Maybe this is indicative of our culture. Maybe we have somehow shifted into focusing on doing the bare minimum and avoiding the mistakes and wrongs ... and somehow neglected the thought of our responsibility to do the right thing. In many a context there is a choice. Sometimes the right thing might be going out of our way to help someone else, giving of ourselves, our time, or our money. Sometimes it might mean telling the truth about something embarrassing, where keeping quiet serves our needs but misses doing the "right thing." This concept is so rare to hear that it kinda pops into my brain when I hear it.

The two-pronged Ghost seems unwilling to forgive the lady -- to intent on focusing on themselves. They wonder aloud why she does not praise them for their acts of unselfishness, as if they'd been "keeping points," but she had not. She has experienced true freedom and joy and wants to invite her husband to drop the baggage, loose the chains and join her. But they seem unwilling. The entire book seems to show one Ghost after another that is holding on to something and unwilling to surrender to God and fully receive His love. Quite a powerful lesson.

It's all kind of hard to follow at times. We are at the cusp of the last two chapters (13 & 14), and seem a long distance away from resolution and clear explanation of what this book is about. I find myself longing for a clear explanation -- where I won't have to "figure it out" on my own, giving meaning to symbols and metaphors. It'll ultimately be a guess if it's left up to me to explain the book, the place our character is at, and the purpose of his journey.

GMA.3

On Monday I interviewed NeedToBreathe for the HM Magazine Podcast. It was a good conversation about art, their performance, and their new album. It sounds like they have some cool new songs. One is about the divine beauty of God's design.

At 2pm I held a press conference about the new online edition of HM Magazine. We're going to put the entire issue online each time -- mirroring the print magazine with all the articles and ads. The pages feature live active links where there are urls or email addresses on any page, which will open a new window browser or email form. It's password protected and subscribers to the print magazine will get a free digital subscription. Individual "copies" will be sold for $1.99. The password will allow the user to view the digital edition on three different computers (work, home, notebook). That went well. It felt good to get it over, as the rest of the week now feels more like fun than work.

Spoken played a nice and rowdy set at the Tooth & Nail showcase. They've got a new album coming out around August, and they played a new song. Matt's really singing loud and carrying on the super melodic vocal hooks. Their last song, which cried about "chasing your fears away," ended with an ode to Michael Jackson's "Beat It."

Falling Up had some cool keyboard layers of sound amid some nice melodies and almost pouting vocals. There was lots of bouncing and guitar snapping and clap-alongs. They really had the crowd singing along to the "Go now's" in a chorus.

Project 86 came out with their trademark heaviness, singing with the crowd about murder. They played a new song that featured lots of start/stop singing and shouting. Pretty cool. The second new song they played was kind of a snarling and gritty metal song. The third new song is called "Evil: A Chorus Of Resistence." In the last song of the 25-minute set Andrew stage dived and sang a verse atop hands and arms.

Demon Hunter came on after TFK, striding on stage to the sample of the epic choral piece that begins The Triptych. Second they launched into the uber melodic "Heart Strings Come Undone." They played "1,000 Apologies" and ended with "Undying." While the sound mix was slightly distorted, being part of a tightly packed crowd and hearing great tunes kind of makes up for it. The familiarity of the songs in your head kind of compensate for what lacks in the live sound -- kind of like how your brain takes an incomplete circle (like the letter "C") and closes it to make the circle whole. Maybe. I dunno. It's only rock and roll.

Luminate, from Tyler, TX, played a closing set over at 12th & Porter, using two chiming guitars and building crescendo to create a quick brooding atmospheric vibe. "No One To Blame" and "Fallen Walls" showcased the bands cool sound, featuring some great guitar tone and a good moody piano that reminded me of that Hammond organ type sound felt in those "spider" bits on the last mewithoutYou album. The lead vocalist, Sam Hancock, has a good voice and he and the band seem to be on their way to finding their own sound.

GMA.2

Yesterday was a good day. I arrived at Rocketown again for an evening's worth of showcase performances, but was immediately disappointed to read the schedule and see that I'd missed Darrell Mansfield's performance. Fortunately for me, Darrell has also missed his ride to the venue and would perform soon after I arrived. Turns out he had to hire a stretch limo to take him all the way from Franklin, TN to Nashville. Unlike a normal legendary rock or blues "star," he rode up in the front seat with the limo driver. He happily reported that they talked about Jesus the whole way. He considered the whole thing a "divine appointment." Those kind of things are always really cool. I heard that some people got a shock when the limo pulled up and the front door opens and Darrell gets out of the passenger seat instead of from the empty back. That's pretty funny.

Darrell Mansfield's set was good. Rick Cua backed him up on bass and Darrell's new guitarist, Darik Peet. They started off the set with "All Along The Watchtower." His harmonica playing was just as dazzling and eye-opening as ever. He was using another microphone to amplify his harmonica as usual, but he was using a house mic. He held the bulbous portion of the mic he usually uses and says, "See this? I stole this off of Pee Wee Herman's bicycle. He blamed another band's drummer for taking off with the connecting cord for the mic as his reason for not playing with his usual vintage gear. It didn't really matter, though, as his playing was just sounding great and coming through loud and clear. How he's able to coax vibrato and almost note-bending out of a harmonica is unreal. "Stand By Me" was next, which included forays into "Soon And Very Soon," an altered lyric version of "Every Breath You Take" and "He's Got The Whole World In His Hands" right in the middle before finishing off "Stand By Me." They ended the set with "People Get Ready," and he shared just so eloquently and freely (he's really a gifted communicator) about loving one another. "That's what this is all about." He laid the Word out about love and could've just kept on going and had the audience in his hand the whole time.

John Schlitt and Bob Hartman performed as 2 Guys From Petra, romping through acoustic versions of many of their hits, like "Beyond Belief" and oldies like "Why Should The Father Bother?" as well as worship tunes like "Lord I Lift Your Name On High."

Jamie Rowe performed with his group London Calling. Jamie's voice still sounds good and melodic and very Cheap Trick-like. That kind of feel-good rock never really grows old as long as it's performed well, and they didn't have a problem with that. He told me before the set that he's an interim youth pastor where he lives and performing the ocassional show isn't really that big a deal. The band hadn't rehearsed in two months, but it didn't show as they rocked any rust of their instruments in the first song. His song "New Sensation" closed the night well, fitting in a few cords and verses from the ZZ Top song "Tush" into the middle of the tune.

Whitecross followed next with a fiery set that showed them pretty near peak form. Rex Carroll was wailing away and skipping around the stage, spinning circles with his feet as well as his playing. They've still got it. Michael Feighan's drumming was quite thunderous and really rocked the songs home. They played "Who Will You Follow?" and "Down" and "Love On The Line," which allowed the rhythm section (and keyboardist) to flesh out the blues feel of the song. Rex was just amazingly hot this night. "You Know What's Right" and "Signs Of The End" closed off the set. They left the audience wanting more and they brought the old school metal right. It was fun seeing Todd Evans (The Golden Sounds, Atticus Fault) singing along and getting into the metal. We all enjoyed it.

Bloodgood's set was really good again. They sounded pretty tight and Les Carlsen seemed a little more loose with his carefree moves on stage. He's such a natural. The big highlight was seeing founding guitarist David Zaffiro join the band for the song "Seven." Another example of a band "doing it right" as a professional band, as opposed to offering some sloppy garage musical seconds. Their performance and sound was "on" and true to the original metallic vibe.

I'm not alone in the press room

As I sit here, to my left is a radio dj, who is interviewing Dennis Jernigan. Jernigan has written a lot of great worship songs. Like love songs for God, they are sweeping, deep, and beautiful. It was cool to hear his story. He was a basketball player, I guess, in high school and judged his performance or value on his success or failure on the court. He got involved on the periphery of Christianity, so to speak, and confided in someone that he was struggling with homosexuality. His sponsor in this struggle made a sexual advance on him and he went home to kill himself that night. Somehow, the attempt wasn't fulfilled and he found his way much later to a 2nd Chapter of Acts concert, where he got in early with a tape recorder to get his own 3-album live set. "Little did I know I was going to record my own deliverance." Annie Herring had a prophecy that someone was really struggling with something they couldn't tell anyone else about. She encouraged him to give his addictions and his struggles to God like a Christmas present, and expect to receive from God what he needed, like a standard Christmas gift exchange. He handed over his struggle to God and was set free. It was cool and interesting to hear such a personal story as an "eavesdropper" sitting next to those guys.

I wonder if thousands of listeners on that station will feel like eavesdroppers when they hear that interview on the radio...

The Great Divorce.11

Things continue to unwrap and get interesting for our main character, who keeps stumbling upon the most fascinating conversations between other Ghosts and Spirits. One conversation he hears is with a Ghost mother and a Bright Spirit that had apparently been her brother. She is distraught and upset that her son, who was taken from her in death previously, was up in the mountains or experiencing his own heavenly journey and growth. She wanted to see him and see him now. The Bright Spirit encouraged her that she could probably see him, but first she must journey on herself, making her pursuit of God more prominent than her pursuit of her son. This would probably turn out to be her downfall, sending her to Hell, because her supposed "love" for her son had become an idol with the wrong motives, expression, and meaning. She would rather drag her son back to Hell with her than see him in Heaven. This selfish bent wasn't true "love" at all. Our main man didn't find out the ending of that scenerio, as he moved on to hear another encounter/conversation. He saw another ghost that looked different, as if a different colored smoke inside his being made him appear darker. This Ghost had a lizard on its shoulder that constantly talked to him. Apparently it was born out of desire. Lust attached itself to his shoulder and wouldn't let him go, persistently reminding him of his desire and thirst for more. An angel hanging out with our man offered to relieve the Ghost of this lizard, but when approaching the Ghost's shoulder, it felt the heat coming from the angel. "I must kill it to set you free," explained the angel, which caused the Ghost much hesitation. He wasn't sure he wanted to let go of this beast, even though it tormented him. Finally he wrestled the lizard away, throwing it to the ground. The Ghost transformed into a more solid man and the lizard a large horse, which he mounted and rode away, much happier than before.

Very strange lessons learned by our man.

He asked the angel: "But am I to tell them at home that this man's sensuality proved less of an obstacle than that poor woman's love for her son? For that was, at any rate, an excess of love." The angel replied, "Ye'll tell them no such thing. Excess of love did ye say? There was no excess, there was defect. She loved her son too little, not too much. If she had loved him more there'd be no difficulty. I do not know how her affaird will end. But it may well be that at this moment she's demanding to have him down with her in Hell. That kind is sometimes perfectly ready to plunge the soul they say the love in endless misery if only they can still in some fashion possess it. No, no. Ye must draw another lesson. Ye must ask, if the risen bodey even of apetite is as grand a horse as ye saw, what would the risen body of maternal love or friendship be?"

Interesting...
(and thus ends another chapter of hmmmm... magazine)

Gospel Music Association Meeting

A collection of Southern Gospel ladies and gents decided to make this time of year a gathering time for people singing in quartets and other ensembles to come together, mingle, fellowship, feast, and acknowledge one another's work with an annual award ceremony called "The Dove Awards." Sometime in the 80s a younger generation took this event, called it their own and GMA became a quasi-hip half-week of showcases and "schmoozing" that lives on to this day. While the "Schmooze" can be seen as a hypocritical dance of popularity-seeking vanity, it also encapsulates the simple "hanging out" and reuniting of old friends that live and work in different parts of the world. This shaking of the hands and hugging in the Renaissance Hotel lobby can all be seen from mistrusting eyes as superficial, there is actually geniune bonding and fellowship going on. It's people relating to people and there is actually some love floating around from hug to hug. It's not an intense "Polyphonic Spree concert" kind of emotional buzz, but a friendly atmosphere where the majority of the people are "plane-ing" on the same level as one another and catching up on old times.

I saw a few concerts last night at the Michael W. Smith launched Rocketown club. I pulled up in a compact white rental car (outfitted with an Auxillary port/connection in the stereo ... yeah!) and couldn't find a place to load in my "gear." No, I didn't have a 7-piece drumset, ampeg bass cabinet or Marshall stacks to bring in, but hey, they were HM Magazine banners and it was a legitimate "load-in." Haha. I got permission to park on the sidewalk, only to see an over-zealous parking lot attendant scream and curse at a family inside a car. A young couple had picked up their kid from a birthday party at the club/skatepark complex and was turning around in a pay-to-parking lot and were yelled at for being there. They were threatened to be towed, screams for "calling the police" were heard, and I saw a punch swung. It was sad. Several of us stood on the ramp leading up to the club, gawking. I remarked that we "were the true heroes," laughing over how useless and dumb we were to stand and watch, but it was compelling reality tv without the cameras. There were people closer by helping it not get out of hand, so I finally ducked into the club to hunt down The Golden Sounds and ex-Atticus Fault frontman Todd Evans, who works at the club's coffee bar. After getting my banner hung, finding some food, and grabbing a more legitimate parking place, I went in to catch some shows.

The first of a few highlights for me was a special treat. My old friend, Carey Womack, who helped start my Christian rock collection grow by turning me on to bands like Jerusalem, The Daniel Band, Rick Cua, Daniel Amos and the Lifters, was also known to front the Christian punk band One Bad Pig. Turns out I was able to set Carey up with his current wife a long time ago by passing on a message from Sarah to Carey that this girl liked him. He picked it up from there and has gone on to start a family out near Memphis, TN, where he pastors a small church. His kids, who I first met as tiny lil' chillen's back in the early 90s, have grown up and learned to play. Silouhette A.D. is their name and they are managed by another friend, whose daughter plays drums. Turns out my friend plays guitar in this all-girl band, too. While she is the mother of one of the band members, she doesn't look her age and she avoids the front of the stage, prefering to keep her back turned and keep time with fast and crunchy guitars in time with her daughter, who is an amazing and tight drummer. This band of grown up baby girls can hang with about any band, churning out a black/death metal sound that's long on heaviness and dual shrill/growling vocals. It's just a wild trip to see kids of friends grow into this role. They rocked the small room with a legitimate metal power. Friendship connections and all-girl identities aside, this band brings the metal with teeth and passion. The second-to-last song of the set had a real haunting, epic keyboard vibe to it that was all Norweigan black metal and beautifully powerful. The last song was a cool scream-along called "Set This Heart On Fire."

Shortly after this set another all-girl band took the larger stage in the bigger room of Rocketown, which also had a superior sound mix. Ilia is a metal band that's cool, heavy, solid and full-sounding. A weak guitar solo was the only marr on this impressive set.

Later on a nu-metal-ish band called Oath played on the big stage, and they successfully dial in that arena Ozzfest metal guitar tone to good effect. The song "The Fear" shows off the vocalists range, which is accented by punching high notes. At times they sound real melodic, kinda like a heavier Anberlin. Very hook-laden. Other times they sound dynamic, a la System Of A Down. They have the muscle and power of a big league metal band, and it's always good to hear that quality amidst a showcase of varying talented independent artists. I had to compliment the soundman in this big room, because everytime I walked in, the sound was always good.

The final band of the night (I think) was the reunion comeback of a world class metal band from the past. I had to see this performance just to see if they still had "it." Yes, indeed, Bloodgood took the stage with bright-sounding guitars cutting through the air and the rhythm section of Michael Bloodgood and drummer Mark Welling was right on. Les Carlsen's vocals sounded really good, and he still shows off that operatic vibrato. The band really sounded good, like they had life and energy in their veins. Having two guitarists -- in Paul Jackson and Oz Fox, made the sound never drop out. The energetic leads and fills were thrilling to hear, as they were played with feeling and precise skill. A worthy blast from the past. They played the following songs: "S.O.S" which featured a short deviation into "To Hell With The Devil" for a short bridge, then a brand new song, then the legendary "Crucify/Messiah," then "Seven," which included a brief tip of the hat to "Purple Haze" in one lead by Oz, then "Holy Fire" and "Black Snake." Like in the past, Les ended the night by encouraging everyone, "Don't forget to say your prayers!"

Classic.
Even though the rules state that you only see a band perform once at a function like this, so you can use your limited time to see some of the other many bands scheduled to play, I plan on catching Bloodgood's set this afternoon, which is reported to be featuring a third guitarist to the bill -- original six-stringer David Zaffiro. That will be fun.

A Preflight Prayer

Father,
I pray that You would bless and protect everyone on this plane with Your mighty angels.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

That's what I pray as a whisper before a plane I'm flying in takes off. There are biblical precedents for all types of prayer, including silent prayers, but I like to engage my vocal chords in prayer whenever possible. It's really probably just my preference. It seems more real to me that way -- kinda like actually raising my hands or actually kneeling down if I'm singing a worship song that says "Holy, Holy, Holy," or "I lift my hands up..." or "I fall down on my knees." It engages more of the senses and it forces my knees, hands, or tongues to line up with the truth that is being sung.

As a singer might say, "I like it like that."

The Great Divorce.10

Every one of us loves every one of us.
I forgot how excellent the Ear Candy album by King's X was. I wanted to hear a song that had that chorus in it ("every one of us loves every one of us..."), so I popped in my King's X mp3 disc in my car stereo (you have to get a cd player for your car that plays mp3s, cuz you can put 12+ albums on one disc. That's 144 albums in a 12-disc cd visor -- a library of music right in your car!) and started toggling through the albums. I got to Ear Candy and didn't think it was on there, but some of the songs sounded good ... and then the song "Fathers" came on. 'That's funny,' I thought, it has a similar melody to the song I'm wanting to hear -- "Every One Of Us," or so I thought the title was. I listened to the other songs on that kind of forgotten album. They really stand up to the test of time.

On to chapter 10 of a book I'm sure the CS Lewis fans in King's X have read...
Our main character overhears another conversation between Ghost and Spirit. The Ghost this time is an old wife who refuses to meet this man. Turns out the man used to be her husband. She had forgiven him, but didn't want to meet him. She explained about all that she tried to get him to be on earth. What she did was describe how she was a controlling nag that pestered him and demanded of him all the time for his whole life. He eventually had a nervous breakdown. It was funny to hear her argument to the Spirit, thinking everyone would see things her way, but it was obvious that she was a control freak. She finally said she'd meet him if should do more things to him. When the Spirit said she'd consult him, she refused, saying it was a bad idea to ask him. She wouldn't hear of it. When the Spirit refused to give up the husband, the Ghost snapped and was no more.

That's quite odd. I wonder what happened to her? Maybe she used up her chance in this Pergatory-type place and was instantly banished to Hell?
hmmm...?!

The Great Divorce.9

This is the longest chapter thus far in the book. Our main character meets up with a Bright Person, who says he is George MacDonald. This is irony at its best, as CS Lewis was a devout fan of MacDonald's writings. He engages him in conversation and soon asks all kinds of questions:

"Do any of these ghosts stay?" (here in this place, Greytown, this middle place, this purgatory, or this Hell) The answer he gets refers Refrigerium, which mentions that "the damned have holidays -- excursions..." He says that only some come to this place. Many prefer to go back to earth and haunt people or places.

MacDonald mentions that mortals fail to understand what's going on when they complain about life on earth being "hell." He says, "They say of some temporal suffering, 'No future bliss can make up for it,' not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory."

Our man asks, "Then those people are right who say that Heaven and Hell are only states of mind?" He is sternly told to "Hush. Do not blaspheme. Hell is a state of mind -- ye never said a truer word. And every state of mind, left to itself, every shutting up of the creature within the dungeon of its own mind -- is, in the end, Hell. But Heaven is not a state of mind. Heaven is reality itself. All that is fully real is Heavenly. For all that can be shaken will be shaken and only the unshakeable remains."

Our man asks: "Why the Solid People, since they were full of love, did not go down into Hell to rescue the Ghosts. Why were they content simply to meet them on the plain? One would have expected a more militant charity."

His answer: "Ye will understand that better, perhaps before ye go. In the meantime, I must tell ye they have come further for the sake of the Ghosts than ye can understand. Every one of us lives only to journey further and further into the mountains. Every one of us has interrupted that journey and retraced immeasurable distances to come down today on the mere chance of saving some Ghost. Of course it is also joy to do so, but ye cannot blame us for that! And it would be no use to come further even if it were possible. The sane would do no good if they made themselves mad to help madmen."

"But what of the poor Ghosts who never get into the omnibus at all?"

"Everyone who wishes it does. Never fear. There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, 'THey will be done,' and those to whom God says, in the end, 'Thy will be done.' All that are in Hell, choose it. WIthout that self-choice there could be no Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. To those who knock it is opened."

There is the realization by our guy that ghosts try to terrorize people on earth, because they are in denial or despair of their own condition, and this somehow is meant to act as an escape from the doom of being a Ghost.

Another Ghost and Spirit meet up and our man listens in. He actually recognizes the face of the other Ghost, recalling it was a famous artist back on earth. His Spirit "guide," so to speak (ahem) tells him that what he did on earth was reflect back bits of Heaven that he'd seen. And here everyone else already sees the bits of Heaven -- even more clearly than this newly dead artist could, so there would be no need of painting just yet. His job was to see and discover. That thing which spartked his art in the beginning -- seeing the Light -- was going to be what he'd be up to again ... and immediately. He protested a bit, saying that he'd later gotten into paint "for its own sake."

The Spirit addressed that. "One does, indeed. I also have had to recover from that. It was all a snare. Ink and catgut and paint were necessary down there, but they are also dangerous stimulants. Every poet and musician and artist, but for Grace, is drawn away from love of the thing he tells, to love of the telling till, down in Deep Hell, they cannot be intertested in God at all but only in what they say about Him. For it doesn't stop at being interested in paint, you know. They sink lower -- become interested in their own personalities and then in onothing but their own reputations."

Wow.

I think I might be troubled in that way. I have had some really cool experiences with God and by His grace have had my eyes opened to some truths in His Word that really turn my heart into a dancing whirl. However, I think over time I've laid back and rested on my past experiences, not building on them, so much, as thinking that the wisdom, healing, and inspiration I received from these things are enough to feed others and myself off of ... perpetually. The problem is, I need to never neglect going "back to the well." I need more of God. These experiences and lessons are great, but focusing on them to the loss of focusing on the God Who brought them is a mistake ... and I think I've made it. I think I've found in my heart a laziness to rest on those past "victories" if I can call them that. Maybe a better word would be "obediences."

The Artist Ghost replied: "I don't think I"m much troubled in that way." The Spirit said, "That's excellent. Not many of us had quite got over it when we first arrived. But if there is any of that inflammation left it will be cured when you come to the fountain."

"What fountain is that?"
"It's up there in the mountains. Very cold and clear, between two green hills. A little like Lethe. When you have drunk of it you forget forever all proprietorship in your own works. You enjoy them as if they were someone else's: without pride and without modesty."
"That'll be grand," said the Ghost without enthusiasm.
"Well, come," said the Spirit: and for a few paces he supported the hobbling shadow forward to the East.
"Of course," said the Ghost, as if speaking to itself, "there'll always be interesting people to meet..."
"Everyone will be interesting."
"Oh-ah-yes, to be sure. I was thinking of people in our own line. Shall I meet Claude? Or Cezanne? Or-"
"Sooner or later -- if they're here."
"But don't you know?"
"Well, of course not. I've only been here a few years. All the chances are against my having run across them...there are a good many of us, you know."
"But surely in the case of distinguished people, you'd hear?"
"But they aren't distinguished -- no more than anyone else. Don't you understand? The Glory flows into everyone, adn back from everyone: like light and mirrors. But the light's the thing."
"Do you mean there are no famous men?"
"They are all famous. They are all known, remembered, recognized by the only Mind that can give a perfect judgment."

Their conversation continued and, much as I feared while reading it, it turned out bad. Even though this Ghost was ever so close to going to the mountains and drinking out of that fountain, he got upset when he found out that he wasn't famous on earth anymore. He wanted to go back right away and get some momentum going for his deceased career.

sigh.

What a fool.

The bit about famous people and being important in the eyes of the One Person Who mattered most reminded me of a forgotten line I so planned on uttering from the stage one New Year's Eve performance at my church (Calvary Chapel in Austin). I was singing "At The Feet Of Christ" in a rocked up version of the worship tune and, during a short pause in the second chorus I was going to say, "Check this out: The only One Who has a right to put us down ... chooses instead to lift us up! Hallelujah! Praise His Name!" (The side story here that aggravates me is I wasn't rehearsed enough to remember how the chorus went to confidently launch into this diatribe, so it was never spoken. Dang!) The real point is how important (and fulfilling) to be loved, appreciated, and known in the eyes and mind of God.

Tomorrow I have an excellent opportunity. I have a scheduled interview with Chris Cornell. This news is exciting and takes away some of the sting of having my scheduled interview (and major feature this issue) with Dave Mustaine being cancelled.

Toil ... I think my desk height is too high...

We are planting grass here at the HM Ranch. We're trying to establish a yard. We might be fencing the yard in, as a matter of fact, with an electric fence. We'll do this so cattle can roam the acreage but not beat up the home that the office resides in. I rented a tiller from Home Depot on Sunday. At times the blades grabbed onto some dry solid ground, I'm guessing, and it took off at full trot. I had to hustle to keep up with it. Almost like a wheelbarrow race at full spead, except with a 350 pounder lineman or something. It must've been funny to watch me as it happened. I had to use all my strength, basically, to keep it going straight and stay in control. Fun, but hard work. Now it's planting time.

We've also cleaned up the place a bit, rearranged some furniture, etc. Here's some photographic evidence that we didn't just laze around last weekend.

The Great Experience.1

One of the most satisfying things about running a magazine is getting copies hot off the press and being able to look at the fruit of two month's labor. The new (May/June) issue arrived this morning. It's always fun to see the Fed Ex truck drive up these country roads and into our driveway at the office.

This issue is really cool, in my humble opinion. I'm pretty happy with the live color photo used for an HM subscription ad. I also used a giant ink stain blob on a spread on Comeback Kid. There were two stories that were late or unresponsive to my photo requests for some reason and I was licking my chops. I had recently purchased some black paint and experimented with some splatter effects, and I was just chomping at the bit to use it. I did this once with a comic book in junior high. I had a series with the word "boot" in it. I can't exactly recall the title. And the fourth edition boasted that it was a very special issue ... and when you opened up the folded page to see the comic, there was a giant, moist looking ink blob (made from real ink) that even make the "sweerrrk" sound as the sticky inked pages released the sticky bond it held with the opposite page. There was a big "OOPS!" at the bottom to indicate a printer's error. I always liked that. I was even going to fish it out of storage to scan for this ink blob idea, but bought some paints instead. David Allen, a former Managing Editor that was a killer designer/graphic artist for us, used a blob once for a spread piece on Showbread.

So, there's that blob spread, the next spread features a very dense black photo of BRMC, so it almost carries a "Heavy Ink" vibe from page to page. The poster is amazing. Anyway, I'm thrilled with this issue. It should have been a best-of-the-year issue as far as ad sales (at least that was our expectations going in), but it tanked in that category, with a lot of labels that usually jump in heavy to marketing their new bands at the big GMA week gathering, where our magazine is on display. I hear reports each year from the people stocking the display that HM is probably the fastest-moving title that they have to keep replenishing. I guess the labels are experiencing low sales shock or are changing the way they look at print ads. Instead of scaling back this issue at the last second (cuz we close our ad sales right around the same time that the magazine is wrapping up), but I decided to take a step of faith and keep all the stories for the planned 96-page issue. Here's hoping that it's a hit.

The Great Divorce.8

This chapter starts off with our man depressed -- turning over the thoughts and possibilities in his mind due to the conversation he had with another ghost about the situation they're in and the question about the sincerity and altruism of their spiritual guides. He's doubting -- big time. Then he overhears another interesting conversation. A female "ghost" is arguing with a "Bright Person" about going up to the mountain. She is told that the struggle against the weightier/more solid earth will disipate over time. The "Spirit" (Bright Person) tells her that she's dead already (after she says she'd "rather die" than go. She doesn't want to have these being be able to look right through her.

She sobs and says she wishes she'd never been born. "What are we born for?" she cries. The Spirit answers her:

"For infinite happiness. You can step out into it at any moment..."

"But, I tell you," she protests, "they'll see me."

"An hour hence and you will not care. A day hence and you will laugh at it. Don't you remember on earth -- there were things too hot to touch with your finger but you could drink them all right? Shame is like that. If you will accept it -- if you will drink the cup to the bottom -- you will find it very nourishing: but try to do anything else with it and it scalds."

Very profound statement, indeed.

This female almost went with the Spirit, but then pulled back and protested. The Spirit then blew a horn and loud as thunder hoofs came rumbling over. They were unicorns. Our main character takes off...

Ugly Girl

Here's a site that offers some help to a large and growing segment of our population that's getting lied to all the time, with much of the media forcing a fake concept of "Beauty" upon our senses.

The Great Divorce.7

Hoo-boy, our character meets another "ghost" that's full of complaints. He asks our man if he's "going back." He turns the question on the asker, who replies in the affirmative. He doesn't buy all the so-called "propaganda" that over time here in this new place he will get "harder" and be able to walk on the grass and drink the water. He thinks it's all a scam, and it's no better than Hell in his mind. He rolls out a hypothetical scenerio where Hell exists simply for the existence of an on-going battle with Heaven. Our man uncomfortably admits that it sounds plausible.

Our man then basically asks, "So, if you could change things, what would you do?" To which our smart-aleck retorts, "That's just what 'They' want me to do -- come up with a solution! That's their job!" Not much help, is he? Complain, complain, complain, but never offer any solutions or even try to be a part of the solution.

Our man decides it's better off to stay here than go to Hell. The chapter ends with a hanging thought about possible rain (and what those raindrops might do to a person's body).

The Great Divorce.6

Our main character continues his walking on water adventure, which he's starting to get the hang of. Some of the foam from the sea's movement actually seems to bruise his shins. It's more after-effects from this new place's density and "realness" factor. He soon hears a wonderous noise that captivates him. He hears a waterfall that seems to emit sounds of joy -- like giants' laughter.

Then he noticed another "ghost," which was the guy whom the "big ghost" called "Ikey." It's funny: in today's day and age the "i" would be lower case and it would stand for an iPod accessory. This guy was struggling (and harming himself in the process) to steal a golden apple from this majestic tree. Just the weight and tinsel strength of the lilies growing around the tree made it hard for him to get close enough. Some apples fell and he tried to fill his pockets with the golden fruit. They were so heavy that he had to give up on the idea of filling his pockets and take only two.

"Fool. Put it down" came a bellowing voice. It was a bright angel, who told him, "You cannot take it back. There is not room for it in Hell."

This puts a most forboding gloom over the story, as the reality of Hell being a very real and imminent place takes its place in the "fresh realization" sector of the reader's mind.

The angel tries to talk the ghost into learning to eat the apples, explaining that he will learn great things. What it could learn is a mystery at this point.

Where were you in 1978?

Okay, I realize that there are some that were not even "a gleam in your father's eye" back in '78, but for those that were around, what was it like for you when Van Halen burst onto the scene?

You know what? For all the rock journalism and historical nods to great artists, this fun-loving American hard rock / metal band gets left out. They came along at a time when 70s rock was being churned out like so much sweet and ordinary butter ... and they turned the world on its ear. Yes, I'm one of those "Diamond Dave" people when it comes to the "David Lee Roth vs Sammy Hagar" debate. But that's just because I was around when they hit.

I'll never forget a couple of VH moments in high school. One was during early season football practice -- probably part of the two weeks' worth of two-a-day practices called "Hell Week." Steve Nemeth, one of those school cool guys in a blue Camero was driving right by the fields with his windows rolled down, blaring "Runnin' With The Devil." It was enough to recharge my tired batteries at that point. I think I was doing a push-up or something at the time. It really brought an inner smile to my heart.

Another moment was seeing the band live outdoors at Anaheim Stadium, along with 78,000 people. It was their big "triumphant return to LA" after conquering the world with their multi-platinum debut album and touring (and blowing the tired and about to split up headliner off the stage) with Black Sabbath all over the world. The band actually parachuted from a plane above the stadium, landed far away behind the stadium, taking forever to get on stage. "Whew! We'll NEVER do THAT again!" blurted David Lee Roth when taking the stage.

Being called "Van Halen" when I wore my VH t-shirt to school (and having a Van Something last name) was kind of fun in one of those prideful, insiginificant you-had-to-be-there ways. It was almost like getting a new cool identity. The key word in my mind was "cool," of course.

And this morning I was listening to the Hayseed Dixies, who take old rock classics (like "War Pigs," "Black Dog," "Whole Lotta Love," etc) and re-work them with a spirited hillbillie and bluegrass style. They covered "Runnin' With The Devil." That song always bothered me a little bit, as it's hard to identify with the story of "being partners with" or "runnin' with" the leader of the fallen angels. The music is so groove-heavy and written so well as a sing-along, it was always a favorite, but it had that nasty thorn of its chorus. I'm odd, but I have a similar experience with the Queensryche song, "I Don't Believe In Love," because it's a real catchy song and I DO believe in love. Whenever I sing that song, I usually switch out the words "don't" with "do." The VH song is kind of one of those old blues stories where the songwriter is lamenting about his path and his ways. In that sense, it's a redeeming song in that it's step #1 in the journey to repentance (realizing the path you are on or the state you are in is a no-win, losing, and basically bad one). However, singing it from my redeemed on-a-different-path perspective is one that resists and defies its meaning. I don't like "confessing" it, for whatever that really means.

An Easter Prayer

Father God,

We come to You in the Name of Jesus,
celebrating this holiday where You raised Your Son from the dead.

It's hard to imagine what Mary and Peter, James, John and the closest family and friends of Jesus went through during those dark days from Friday to Sunday. Thank You for putting us in an age and a time where we can be forgiven and know You as our Friend and God in the here and now -- not having to go through the agony of wondering where You are.

Amen.

The city lights of Londontown

I've been working at home since yesterday. Wednesday night's activities kept me up so late that it ran into Thursday's morning and Fridays I usually don't go into the office. Some friends are in town we might meet up with, so the 1-hour round trip for a half day at the office just doesn't sound feasible. But, alas, my copy of The Great Divorce is on my desk there, so I shant be commenting on it today. Perhaps some of the readers can post here of their experience?

We plan on meeting up with the Bloodgood family today. Michael's oldest son, Paul, is one of the star dancers in the Austin Ballet, and his parents usually come in a couple times a year to see cool productions. This week it's The Taming Of The Shrew. Apparently, Paul's got the lead roll on Saturday night's performance.

Does anyone else ever get sad around 3pm on Good Friday? Sometimes (usually, I guess) my heart gets almost a sudden pang of sorrow, as I realize the enormity of death and how a Good Friend faced it. It would be so awesome to kiss the feet of Jesus. Worship in Heaven is described as pretty awesome, and I believe it, but it'll sure be different to have the object of our worship in front of our eyes, huh?

Here's a photo of The Awakening's Ashton Nyte, who visited Austin in late February. He is standing in front of one of the best independent record stores in the world -- Waterloo Records. This is one of the Gibson guitars that's painted originally by a local artist. Apparently right after Ashton left one of these guitars came up missing. If they ever find out who stole it, I'd hate to see what happens to him or her.

Destroy Nate Allen

One of the guys that writes for HM is on tour right now and he played Austin last night. It was a cool set, where he told stories with his songs and it was very well received. It was cool that another artist on the bill (Kim something from a band called One Eyed Doll), who knew him back in Oregon (where they're both from -- he's living in Portland and she now lives in Austin). A funny coincidence. Nate is touring across all 48 states for the first time and is letting his CDs go for free or for whatever anyone can afford. He's really a talented guy with something to say. I recommend keeping up with him.

This was the third show I'd seen in about a week. Two different shows at La Zona Rosa were pretty cool -- Lovedrug and the Switchfoot/Copeland show a few days earlier.

Lovedrug played with Dear And The Headlights, Boys Night Out, and Plain White T's. They went on second with a simple setup with the small 4-piece drumset a little left of center stage. They started with little to no fanfare after a long while of sound/line checks. The singer acted slightly tired, like he was partly going through the motions or perhaps was trying to purposefully convey a jaded vibe. He brightened up as the show went along and the audience gave him feedback that they were actually connecting with and enjoying the songs. Maybe it took awhile for these mostly 17 year old girls in the audience to catch on to the hooky melodies. Or maybe Michael Shepard, David Thomas Owen IV, Korey Christopher Jones, and James Childress were caught offguard or intimidated by playing to a Boys Night Out and/or Plain White T's crowd. Eventually they won the "battle" and everyone was grooving.

"Doomsday" went over really well, which was a request from their friends in Dear And The Headlights. The second song ("Salt Of The Earth"), was a really heavy song with that crashing sample stuff. It sounds even bigger and richer live, perhaps. The "Blackout" song was cool. The drummer towered over his small and minimal 4-piece kit well, showing a complete command of the instrument with a nod to the skill of the simple beat, although his fills were creative when needbe. "Happy Apple Poison" went over well, as did "Voice By Your Side." The last song ("Pushing The Shine") reminded me a little bit of Muse, with a frenetic and high end slightly nasaly vocal approach.

Very solid, but short set.

Switchfoot played to a sold-out crowd there the Saturday night before. Watching Jon Foreman and company rock the stage showed me performance glimpses of Mute Math, Bono, and Sonny. (See if you can place the reference to the action/description)

They punched "go" with the stripped down and raw "Dirty Second Hands." I thought that was a great way to jumpstart the energy for the show. Next up was "Stars." During the first or second song, the Switchfoot frontman had a cymbal stand in his hand, which he danced around the stage with, wacking it with a drumstick furiously as the song progressed. High energy numbers like "Oh! Gravity" sounded really great. "This Is Your Life" served as a cool moment as well. "Faust, Midas and Myself" was another lighter, but memorable song.

Late into the set, after songs from the last three popular albums, including the much-anticipated "Meant To Live," Foreman went wild. He crowdsurfed backwards with some of that tubelight stuff -- several feet of it followed him well past the halfway mark onto the club's floor, atop hands held aloft. It was fun watching him as well as the snake light weave its way through the top of the crowd. He was definitely connecting deeply with the audience in a very endearing way. That wasn't enough, so he climbed atop the stage left speakers up by the ceiling and led the crowd in clapping and singing along to the ending refrains of "Dare You To Move." It left the crowd fairly spent, most realizing that they'd all just shared a cool show.

The Great Divorce.5

Chapter five revealed much more about this mysterious fantasy novel. Our character overhears another conversation between one of "the Bright People" and a "ghost." The "Bright" being informs this "Ghost" that he's been in Hell, it seems. Apparently the "Ghost" is here because he has become apostate. He thinks the charge is ludicrous, and tries to justify his position. It is apparent from the conversation that this Ghost guy loves intellect and arguing and telling others what he knows. His counterpart in this conversation points out that there are "sins of intellect," where one departs from the truth.

This Ghost guy had abandoned the Resurrection theory when he deemed it "ceased to commend itself to the critical faculties which God had given me."

Wow, this guys thinks a lot about his smarts, huh? I'm reminded about how the giants of intellect, people like Einstein, apparently were heard to say, "We know so little." Instead of boasting of what they did know, the true giants of the brain humble themselves against the expanse of knowledge that they've barely taken a chunk out of.

This Ghost guy came to the conclusion on earth that Jesus died too young, and that was a tragedy, because like him Jesus surely would have changed His position on a number of intellectual conclusions. He sees the cross as a mistake that God made, cutting us all short.

Wow. I'd like to say, if I may, "What a fool!"

When one loses sight of what happened at the cross, they lose sight of its mission, they lose sight of their true condition, and they lose sight of a truth that cuts through every facet of life.

After our character hears this conversation end (which must've made the "Bright Person" sad and dismayed at the arrogance of the one he's trying to help), he figures he might be able to walk on water. He figures this since the matter there is somehow more dense than he. So he tries it. He falls down and was carried by the current about 30 yards.

Random thoughts on Stavesacre

I put the five full-length studio albums plus their live album in my six-disc CD changer and hit "random," so I could hear various songs from their catalog.

I've made the following conclusion:
Stavesacre is the kind of band where it's more enjoyable to listen to their albums, track-by-track, than it is to shuffle through their catalog. I'm not sure why that is. It might be because I know their albums so well from multiple listens. You know the kind of familiarity of which I speak: as one track fades out you already hear the intro to the next song in your mind. Our maybe it's because their songs fit better in the context of the songs with which they were written. I don't know.

Here is the latest design for the next Heaven's Metal Fanzine cover. I like this one better than the previous one (found on the March 22 blog). What do you think?

I had a strange dream...

We were at a big outdoor event and a large tornado dropped down out of the sky. Everyone screamed, "Tornado!" and ran. There was a ditch at the edge of this field, so I headed that way, but it appeared to be out of reach with the fast-moving twister. I looked to my right and saw a slight depression along this ridge. I veered towards that and, as I approached, I saw my wife and one of my daughters crouching down in it. I dove and as I was about to land, I felt something hit my right leg, but then I landed safely in the ditch as the twister went right over. There's been some severe weather around here lately, so it was kind of a creepy dream to have. As I laid awake I listened outside for any storm sounds.

The Great Divorce.4

At times I'll be reading this and have to back up to make sure I'm following what's happening. Such was the case with chapter 4, where our character sees "the solid people" coming over, appearing as if each one was headed towards one of his kind. All the people on the bus, including our own character, are now pretty much refered to as "ghosts," as they are less solid than the things and people in this place. One of the rude men in line back in the beginning of the book, "Big Man," is now following our character into the woods, in a futile effort to escape the approach and gaze of these "bright people."

When one of these beings approached "Big Man" (who was then refered to as "Big Ghost"), he asked, "Don't you know me?" Our character looked at this being and felt the urge to dance -- "it was so jocund, so established in its youthfulness."

That's quite a beautiful sentiment. One a skillful writer might attribute to God. This is quickly glossed over as the action takes up where "Big Ghost" starts questioning this being about a murder he committed while on earth. The being states that he has "given up" on himself "after the murder. That was what it did for me. And that was how everything began."

"Big Ghost" protested and made himself out to be a much better man. "At least he wasn't a murderer," he basically protested. He was mad at this being for wanting him to go with him. And the being protested "Big Ghost"'s claims to be a decent chap. He says, "Of course (you were not a decent chap)... I tell you one thing to begin with. Murdering old Jack wasn't the worst thing I did. That was the work of a moment and I was half mad when I did it. But I murdered you in my heart, deliberately, for years. I used to lie awake at nights thinking what I'd do to you if I ever got the chance. That is why I have been sent to you now: to ask your forgiveness and to be your servant as long as you need one, and longer if it pleases you. I was the worst. But all the men who worked under you felt the same. You made it hard for us, you know. And you made it hard for your wife too and for your children."

"Big Ghost" retorted, "You mind your own business, young man. None of your lip, see? Because I'm not taking any impudence from you about my private affairs."

"There are no private affairs," said the other.

Wow. This is beginning to sound like a place of judgment, where the consequences of your sins on earth follow you.

The being invites "Big Ghost" to go work up on the mountain, which will be a joy, but still include plenty of work. "Big Ghost" refuses, as if he could, stating that he'll "just go back home."

I have a feeling he won't have that choice.

Am having fun reading this book. It's great to finally begin reading a title that's been on my "must-read" list for years and years. I have a couple other books like this, some of which I've purchased and sat on the shelf for that day (may it come soon). A couple titles would be Francis Schaeffer's How Should We Then Live, and Andrew Murray on Prayer. One of these days, I'd probably like to read Watchman Nee's The Spiritual Man. I was about to say, "Maybe it'll be released as an audio book someday, as I'd rather not have to wrestle through a million pages..." and then I stumble across this.

Deliverance has a new album coming out. I'm listening to it now. It sounds great. I've loved just about everything the band has done. I'm probably the only person on the planet that doesn't like Weapons Of Our Warfare, but I liked their speedier days and I also loved their transition to Bowiesque metal.

The Great Divorce.3

Lewis describes a fantastic place where the passengers of this bus have now arrived. He describes the people as not having enough substance -- like a spirit body -- to even displace the blades of grass they are standing on. On closer observation, though, he realizes that the men around him are still as solid as they were on earth. It's just that the place they are now is more real and solid than the reality they'd know. Imagine that. What a fantastic place.

He tries to pull up a daisy and could not, the plant seemed to be made of a diamond-hard substance. It would definitely be a "trip" to visit a place like that.

Before too long they got some visiters, coming to meet them. They seem somehow more glorified or more substantive, as the grass and the dew move before their feet. It's as if they are more real than the grass that was slightly more real than our character and his compatriots on the bus. Some of the people freak out and want back on the bus. He remarks that one such person is never seen again outside the bus. That's a shame. It'll be interesting to see what these people do and what they have to say. Are they angels? Are they people that have gone on before them (and received new bodies somehow)? I guess the next few chapters will reveal what's going to happen.

xxx

The new issue of HM is at the printers now. As PDF files, someone in the "stripping" department will assemble the pages into the working templates they have for printing. Our magazine bypasses film and gets made straight into printing plates. Prior to printing, however, they will generate "soft proofs" that are another PDF file, which I will proof later this week online. There are a few ads that are not turned in yet, which are dangerously close to not be included. After noon tomorrow we start getting charged late stripping fees for any changes or pages coming in (like a late ad). Hopefully, the late folks will come in under the wire.

I'm stoked about interviewing Maria McKee at 2pm today. She was the singer for Lone Justice, who made a big splash alongside U2, The Alarm, The Call, and very few others in the 80s with their art and faith.