(from the song "Abyss" by Slave To The System, fronted by Brother Cane founder Damon Johnson). Not sure exactly what he's asking for (I've got a notion), but it sure sounds like classic blues, doesn't it?
It's pretty easy to tell what your favorite albums or artists are ... they're the ones that you come back to time and again, which seldom let you down -- taking you to that "place" that good music does. I guess that place is called "bliss." I can count on the music from Damon Johnson to do that for me. Part blues, part classic rock, part singer/songwriter. When you've got that special something, that quoi, that element of special quality...you've just got it. You can't really coach this stuff. You can shape it if it's there. You can bring it out if it's there, but you can't fake this stuff. Jeff Buckley had it. I'm not sure every American Idol winner has it. When you hear it, you know it. You're drawn to it.
I'm having lunch today with a friend of mine. He happens to pastor the church I am part of. It might be funny to explore the edges of that "line" that someone has between friend and pastor. Maybe I could show up late, with disheveled hair... Mumble something incoherent... Dump a bunch of junk from my pockets on the table -- lottery tickets, traffic tickets, beer bottle caps, an empty pack of cigarettes, race track betting forms, an alligator clip with feathers attached ... what else could I dump on the table before I excuse myself to the restroom? What would he think? Would he make a phone call while I'm away? Would he have that "we need to talk" look on his face? I dunno, sometimes I get mischevious and want to pull pranks like this.
In Genesis 30, we see Rachel losing it. She gets jealous of her sister, Leah. She tells Jacob, "Give me children, or I'll die!" I wonder who else heard that outburst. One thing that bothers me about stuff like that is other people hearing it. I know that it's no one else's business and I shouldn't live my life as if what other people think matters, but I don't want someone privy to my inner workings. I remember when my cat from childhood was dying. He was a wonderful pet that lived for 20 years. During the last week of his life I had a group over for the home church meeting we had every Thursday night. When I left the room his eyes followed me and he tried to follow, but hobbled and fell down. It was sad and my friends openly got sad with me. But inside I wanted them all to leave so I could experience this tender and sad moment alone. I'm not sure why, but those true human emotions we go through -- they're private. I don't want to cash in on some reality show and live my life in front of the camera. I have that morbid curiosity that most of America has, and I might strain my neck to watch some stupid reality show, but part of me inside knows it's lame. It's almost dirty. I hope for Jacob and Rachel's sake that this conversation happened in private.
Jacob became angry with her and said, "Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?"
Rachel did something that apparently wasn't too strange for that time. She said, "Here is Bilhah, my maidservant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and that through her I too can build a family." So she gave him her servant Bilhah as a wife. Jacob slept with her, and she became pregnant and bore him a son. She had another, too. Leah did the same thing with her maidservants, having two sons vicariously through Zilpah.
One day one of Leah's sons, Reuben, went out to the fields and found some mandrake plants. Rachel said to Leah, "Please give me some of your son's mandrakes." Leah refused: "Wasn't it enough that you took away my husband? Will you take my son's mandrakes too?" Rachel bargained with her, using something that I didn't think she really had authority to do. She said, "Very well, he can sleep with you tonight in return for your son's madrakes." So when Jacob came in from the fields that evening, Leah went out to meet him. "You must sleep with me. I have hired you with my son's mandrakes." So he slept with her that night.
Now, doesn't that all seem a little strange? Jacob's sleeping with all these women and having this large family. That sorta thing would not fly today, would it?
Jacob made a deal with Laban so he could separate from him and be on his own. His deal was to take the spotted goats and dark-colored lambs. He watched over the animal mating and "rigged" it so that the healthy and strong animals in heat were made available to the strong ones, but the weak ones were guided towards Laban's flocks. What a schemer. I guess he beat Laban at his own game.
Am listening to a great podcast by Kemper Crabb (available at phantomtollbooth.org), which is wildly great stuff. He's saying some things that are so inline with the core fundamentals of biblical Christianity. Fans of Don Miller will surely resonate with this stuff. I love it.
Genesis 29 contains a wild story. Jacob continues on his journey until he gets to the land of his family. There he meets some of the family and falls in love with Rachel. He stays for a month and Laban asks him to come up with a figure or wage for his work. He promised to work for Laban for seven years in exchange for his daughter Rachel to be his wife. He agreed, so Jacob worked for him for seven years. After the time was completed, he asked for his "wage." Laban threw a big feast and when evening came he sent his daughter Leah to Jacob instead of Rachel.
Leah had "weak eyes" and was not as beautiful as Rachel, it seems. I'm not sure what "weak eyes" means. Perhaps it was a "lazy eye" or a "wandering eye" or a "drooping" eye. Let's just say she was ugly, can we? How Jacob got tricked into "laying with" Leah instead of Rachel is beyond me. Maybe he was drunk. Maybe Leah looked similar to Rachel and it was hard to tell them apart in the dim light of nightfall. Maybe she wore a veil. Either way, Jacob found out in the morning and demanded a refund.
Laban pulled the "customs" card and said, "That's how we roll here -- we marry the older one first." He agreed to give him Rachel as another wife after the "bridal week" was over ... in exchange for another seven years' worth of work. I assume the "bridal week" was only seven days, and then he had his true love -- Rachel. God however, had favor for ugly Leah (yeah, I'm picking on her, but let me use this "creative license") and made her womb fruitful. She gave birth to four sons. Rachel didn't have any.
It's kinda cool that God showed favor to the ugly girl. It's great that God likes us ugly people -- cuz we're all ugly, or at least will be. Even if we are blessed enough to be considered one of the "beautiful people" or in-crowd, some day we will stretch, wrinkle, or break into ugliness. So, none of us can really escape the "ugly" curse. It's all very superficial, but it affects some of us deeply and in a very hurtful way. When we feel discarded or unwanted, that really feels bad. God, I think, has special love and consideration for the outcast. I think His heart really goes out to the "ugly" people.
I've shared this before, and I apologize for being like the ugly, old, wrinkled man that repeats his stories over and over again, but maybe not everyone readin this heard this one...
One time I was having a "conversation" with God. The subject was girls and my taste for thin ones over fat ones. Then God told me (of course, I'll say "I believe" He told me) the following words, which stopped me in my tracks:
"I'm fat. Does that mean you don't love Me?"
Wow. I remember truly feeling the pain and guilt of being so shallow and feeling like I'd truly cut to the heart of the Creator of all things. Whether it's a theological fact (His weight or appearance) doesn't really mean anything to me (I kinda doubt that part). The point is that all of His creation -- all people -- are important and worthy of love.
God took special favor towards Leah. That is cool.
Demon Hunter rules. I like that band so much. I really dig the dynamics between the singing voice and beautiful, memorable melodies and the harsh growling howls.
End part one.
Part two, the vents.
Things breaking frustrate me.
Today I came to work with two pressing things...well, one thing, actually. There were just two pages left in the magazine that were not turned in yet. Ads from advertisers. Both were turned in or uploaded onto two separate ftp sites over the weekend. One was on a record company ftp site, where I logged in, found it, and downloaded it. I've since placed it and "written it to post script," converted to a PDF file, and then ftp'd it to my printer's ftp site. The other file was a compressed (sitx) file, which my version of "Stuff It" would not open. Apparently, the version of stuff-it I purchased last year, maybe 1.5 years ago, needs upgrading, for current files being sent to me require an upgraded version. I remembered that I got a confirmation email from the ads designer, so I emailed him and asked for a .sit file, with which I was able to extract, place, convert, and will now send.
The second thing that is frustrating me is that I'm freezing inside my office. The heater here is just blowing air. Ay-yi-yi! It's cold!!! The thermometer I have next to my desk says 49 degrees!
Yikes! It's hard to work under these conditions. I have several other things on my plate I need to get done, but I have to devote energy and time and focus on fixing these things. I hate that.
End Part Two.
I just pressed the wrong button, deleting all that I'd just written in Part Three. This was enough to scream "NO!" to.
In Genesis 28 we see Isaac blessing Jacob again. This is interesting. You'd think that maybe the earlier blessing (where Jacob wore animal skin, trying to be like his hairy brother) would have been enough. I think there's something about this blessing stuff. Isaac blessed him specifically about finding a wife, and having his offspring blessed, passing down the covenant God made with Abraham.
I remember working at a Christian bookstore in Austin. I used to tell about everyone I served, "God bless you," as they went out the door. Some obviously appreciated it and "received" it, and others kind of nodded in acknowledgment. I am not sure what transacted there, but I believe that speaking blessings is a real and powerful thing. I don't go way out there and try to make more out of it than there is, but I believe God hears those things; and the people that "receive" it also receive something. I'm not sure what, but it's cool.
So Isaac went away to the land of his mother's family to find a wife. He sat down for the night and placed his head on a soft pillow. Scratch that -- it was a rock! He had a dream, where he saw a stairway reaching up to heaven, with angels going up and down it.
I wonder if he heard Robert Plant's voice and flute? Or perhaps Geddy Lee's voice, singing "Jacob's Ladder?"
Esau heard about this and finally figured out that his marrying Canaanite women displeased his father. So he went out and got some more wives -- this time from Ishmael's side of the family.
In Jacob's dream he heard the blessing again, reaffirming it in his heart. He dedicated that rock before he left and vowed to give God a tenth of all He gave him. This is interesting, because it is well before the Mosaic Law was given to God's people.
I was probably a pretty funny sight yesterday afternoon. I laughed a little about myself at the time. I took some photos with my camera phone and sent them to my wife. I was trying to pull a trailer out of its parking space at the ranch and the ground was still so wet and muddy that just getting the vehicle backed up to hook up the hitch turned out to be a 45-minute effort of futility, with the tires caking several inches of mud on itself and digging a trench about six inches deep. After a few missed tries, it was apparent that the tires wouldn't carefully or slowly get anywhere near the hitch. Using boards helped a little, but not enough.
So my family's plan for a long-needed vacation get-away to San Antonio were scrapped.
Oh well, perhaps this weekend we can have as many special moments as we were originally wanting to have out of town.
There have been times where I've really stressed about how something was worded. Whether it was a business letter or a personal rebuke or apology or confrontation or whatever ... I always want to make sure it communicates well. I care about people and I care about following the biblical protocol of what living in this world is supposed to be like. There are certain "kingdom principles" that I want to live by. Jesus made some revolutionary statements about how we are to treat each other. It can be a challenge, however, to live by these principles.
The world around us -- the unbelieving world -- has a different moral compass. Although Christianity has made an imprint around the world and changed entire cultures -- both dramatically and subtly -- the world system is one that often spins contrary to the Jesus principles of others first and true justice. Sometimes it can seem like an alien thing to believe in God and/or apply biblical principles to your life. Not everyone is religious. Not everyone shares your priorities of trying to put God first and His principles second above everything else. That can feel weird, strange, and awkward.
Sometimes I've replied to people about situations that were really troublesome. Having had to do this a lot recently, with a situation with my magazine and another publication; with companies and businesses; with members on the Heaven's Metal Fanzine editorial team; and with personal relationships. One benefit from this is I sense that I have a growing confidence in my ability to speak the truth in love. I'm losing some of the apprehension and nervousness about confrontation or worrying about saying the right thing. I feel that this is a good thing.
Experience helps in so many areas. Now that I've interviewed a lot of artists, I don't get that nervous when I'm on the phone with a celebrity. I realize that lack of preparation and a false confidence can shoot myself in the feet; so I don't rely on this confidence or try to play it up. I'm still the same person that's capable of failing miserably, but there's something to be said for experience. Sports teams like a veteran player. Bands like having an experienced person at the helm of their recording. Experience helps.
While I might wish that I didn't have to go through this or that to gain some of this experience, I am grateful nonetheless that the nervous worry of communicating has lessened.
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
(and that's not a good thing, like being a lumberjack is...)
It's post-deadline, and I'm dealing with 4.13 pages of ads that are not turned in yet. I'm also planning the next issue. Did I say I was putting Petra on the cover? Yes! Petra is the new cover story for the May/June issue of HM. Or maybe I'm just "on a roll" with the whole lies/deception thing started with the false blog from yesterday. (another thing that's not good)
I figured today would be as good a day as any to take my car into the dealer to get fixed. I've got numerous things (ailments) that I've been dealing with and putting off with that vehicle for awhile now. It's also just a tankful of miles away from its 20,000 mile checkup. So, while I drove it to the dealership and got a shuttle ride back, I'm carless for the day and working from home.
The Bible can be encouraging at times like this. Knowing passages like "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you" and "I've never seen the righteous forsaken" and that passage about the children of the righteous not begging for bread... Even though things can get difficult and challenging, keeping your eyes on the Lord (setting your eyes to Zion, so to speak) keep things in perspective and help you get through the tough times.
I'm not sure which is bigger news: the fact that Hall of Fame Coach Bill Parcells retired; or that Jerry Jones hired a new coach with no previous coaching experience.
"I am in good health and feel lucky to have been able to coach in the NFL for an extended period of time," Parcells said in a statement. "I leave the game and the NFL with nothing but good feelings and gratitude to all the players, coaches and other people that have assisted me in that regard."
"What I lack in coaching experience," stated Van Pelt, "I more than make up for in working with the media. This most presitigious and visible team will be handled with skill, I assure you. And I guarantee that I will take this team to the Super Bowl next year."
While most reporters chuckled at the last comment, a quick checking of the facts and Van Pelt's base salary for the Cowboys (a 4-year, $6,000,000 deal) confirms that the new coach will have enough money to purchase airfare and tickets for the entire 53-man roster, unless, of course, they actually qualify for the championship game.
...until the next deadline.
Who should be on the cover of this one?
You know what's fun to do when an issue is done (save for 10 ads that aren't in yet...what's wrong with those folks?)? I take all the PDFs and create a "PDF Book," so I can scroll through each page of the magazine and see how the spreads look. For instance, how an unrelated ad looks opposite a page with a concert review.
Monday I should hopefully be able to send over the remaining ten AWOL ads before noon. At 1pm there is a film class that's in town doing a documentary on Christian Rock. At least that's what they "say" they're filming. They "say" they want to interview me. Yeah, right! I'm afraid it's really an underground slasher flick, and they're just going to kill me and film it all.
Wait a minute? Are you saying all these late nights are just making me paranoid? That's it, I'm going to bed.
I had a voicemail on my cellphone when I turned it on this morning. It was from a woman named Sandra, calling to follow up on an employee's reference from past employment here. They wanted to hire this person, but wanted to know what happened when she left. The name of the employee was someone I've never heard of. She described a type of medical care, and I knew that it was absolutely the wrong number. However, this situation left open the door for an awesome prank. I could have called back and told the wildest tale I could think of (terrorist activity, whatever). I can only imagine the phone call I'd get back from a higher up in the organization or something. I don't know how long it would be possible to draw something like that out. Boy, that would be fun ... but terribly, terribly wrong. While the temptation was there, I passed.
On the way to work today I was listening to some more of this album I have to rate for the new issue. It was Wordplay from the parody people known as Apologetix. They cover the Whitesnake song, "Here I Go Again," changing the words to "Here I Go (Against All I've Known)." They do Nickelback, Bon Jovi, The Who, Hoobastank, Velvet Revolver, Stevie Wonder, The Beatles, Kanye West, Dobie Gray, Weezer, Green Day, The Killers. Oh my...
Everyone's got their own take on Apologetix. They either love 'em or hate 'em. I think I'm the minority in that I'm ambivalent. When trying to judge them for what they are (and comparing them to Weird Al, etc), they come out fairly solid. But there is a cheese factor.
Why'd they cover U2? I thought their schtick was to parody secular artists. Maybe these guys don't respect the U2 way.
Sigh.
My deadline clock says
0 days
0 hours
00 minutes
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I guess today is the deadline!
Genesis 27 shows us Rebekah to be one sneaky woman. She overhears her husband's conversation with Esau and devises her own little plan. Isaac knows he's gonna die soon and he wants to eat some of the wild game his son hunts and serves up ... and he also wants to bless him before he dies. Rebekah tells Jacob to get some fine goats and bring them to her to cook. She puts some of Esau's best clothes on him and goat skin on his hands to fool Isaac into thinking it's Esau. When Jacob shows up for this, Isaac is skeptical. He asks him who he is (lie #1); he asks him how he caught the game so quickly (lie #2); he tells him that he sounds like Jacob, but his skin feels like Esau's, and he asks him if he really is Esau (lie #3). He asked him to come over and kiss him, where Isaac smelled the scent of the field (lie #4). Isaac spoke a blessing that started off with how his son smelled like a field and went on to speak blessing to him. Isn't it odd that this was done before God? It's like stealing from a church. Jacob took it all in (lie #5), receiving the sworn blessing/covenant.
As soon as Esau really arrived, Isaac knew he'd been fooled. For Esau it was a case of "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me;" because Jacob had talked him into forfeiting the rights as the first-born son. His dad was upset, too. It's interesting that God nor His angels intervened, letting this play out on earth below. Isaac had no other blessings to give Esau, even though the son begged.
Esau planned to kill Jacob for this as soon as Isaac died. Rebekah overhead this and sent Jacob away. "Why should I lose two sons in one day?" Chapter 27 ends with another comment about Esau's wives. She tells Isaac, "Those Hittite wives of Esau are making my life miserable! If Jacob marries a Hittite woman, I'd be better off dead."
This deadline has been weird. Instead of working long-hour days at the office, I've been working long-hour days at home on my notebook. The Austin area had "Ice Storm 2007" this week and I've stayed away from the office, getting all I need to get done here without risking the trip and/or getting stranded. I plan on going in today and hopefully wrapping up this issue's editorial. I'll probably have to send the files to the printer from my office computer, but this handy notebook will to the rest.
In Genesis 26 we get a few stories about Isaac's life. It starts off by refering to Abraham once having a bad year with crops. Isaac has one and God steps in and speaks to him saying, "Isaac, stay away from Egypt! I will show you where I want you to go. You will live there as a foreigner, but I will be with you and bless you. I will keep my promise to your father Abraham by giving this land to you and your descendants. I will give you as many descendants as there are stars in the sky, and I will give your descendants all of this land. They will be a blessing to every nation on earth, because Abraham did everything I told him to do."
Wow. God helped Isaac make a choice by telling him in no uncertain terms where He did NOT want him to go. Then He repeated the covenant He had made with Abraham. Isaac was just like his dad. He had a God in Heaven that was committed to making good on His promise, His covenant.
It's interesting and a little puzzling as to why the Arabs (the descendants of Ishmael) want to wipe modern day Israel off the map. If God gave Abraham all that land, and if the Old Testament Scriptures are indeed God's Word, then why dispute what land is Israel's? This is a narrow view of the problem, of course, but it's still puzzling.
Isaac moved to Gerar with his beautiful wife Rebekah. "He was afraid that someone might kill him to get her, and so he told everyone that Rebekah was his sister."
There he goes -- repeating the same lame mistake as his dad. Sigh. Why is that habit so ingrained in humans? Why are sons and daughters so prone to make the same mistakes as their parents? What does it take to not make those mistakes? (I think that one of the only answers to that is by the offspring recognizing the sin, having a focused desire not to repeat it, and asking for and receiving God's power to overcome this tendency).
Abimelech, a king of the Philistines in Gerar, saw Isaac and Rebekah smooching one day and he confronted Isaac, busting him on the lie. He made it clear he was not happy with that deception: "If someone had slept with her, you would have made our whole nation guilty!" Then he warned all his people not to touch them (or they'd be put to death). That's interesting that they thought that way. If someone slept with Rebekah, Isaac would be to blame! Like I've said before (and probably made a sort of enemy in heaven by calling Abraham an idiot for doing that), I'll say again, "What a foolish thing to do!" It's easy to sit in judgment over these guys, though. I'm sitting in an air conditioned house (with the heater on at the moment -- it is "Ice Storm 2007" here) and I'm not dealing with possibly the very real threat of death by marauders that would kill a husband to steal a wife. That thought keeps me in check a little bit, but come on! That's not a nice way to treat your wife.
Isaac planted grain and had some great harvests there. He was blessed by the Lord and his wealth grew. Abimelech told him to leave, because he was getting too wealthy there. Locals grew mad and jealous. They stopped up the wells that Abraham had dug out there. He left and settled in the Great Valley, where he dug up and cleaned out those wells that had been stopped up. While the text might be omiting some important details, it's possible to glean from this passage that Isaac didn't grumble (at least so much as to be recorded for all time in Scripture) about this problem. Perhaps he just shrugged his shoulders, swallowed his anger and set about the hard work to clean them up. That sort of attitude says a lot about someone willing to "let it go" and work hard to do what needs to be done (which in this case meant clearing out wells that had been sabotaged by jealous men). While digging they came upon some spring fed wells. The locals claimed that the water belonged to them.
"So this well was named 'Quarrel,' because they had quarreled with Isaac."
Maybe that is how Isaac got over this, by using humor and sarcasm. Judging by the text, he moved on and "let this one go." His servants dug another well and the locals quarreled about it. They named this one "Jealous." Finally, they dug one more well. There was no quarreling this time, so they named it "Lots Of Room." That's kind of funny.
It appears from this text that Isaac dealt with this conflict by giving in to the locals. This isn't the only way quarrels are dealt with in the Bible, but this seems to be a clear example of someone who was in the right not choosing to fight this battle, but instead intentionally "lose" it. Isaac went on to more success.
This is a good time to bring up a subject some people talk about: "proof texts" or "prooftexting." A good point is made that the Bible is not a book that's given to us so we can prooftext it in order to explain how we live, etc. This book, which is a collection of 66 smaller books, is made up of poetry, stories, historical narratives, prophecy, allegories, and simple facts (in a couple cases, physical addresses). The point made by some of these arguments (Don Miller brings this up, for example) is to broaden our perception of the Bible. It's more than just a "proof text."
However, it might be possible to read through an argument like that and conclude, "That's right! I'm going to stop proof texting and live an authentic Christian life." The problem with that, I believe, is that it's wrong. Jesus prooftexted. Remember when He was busted for He and His disciples not following the washing or eating laws? His disciples ate the heads of the grain as they walked through fields on the Sabbath. He said, "Haven't you read about David and his men eating the showbread in the temple, which only the Levite priests were allowed to do?" On the road to Emmaus Jesus used the Law, the Psalms and the Prophets to explain how the Messiah was supposed to come and die. He "prooftexted" His way through that explanation.
So, to conclude that prooftexting is narrow is perhaps right, but to conclude that it's wrong is likely a gross error. Sometimes figuring something out requires some hard work. A disciple is better to follow the "whole counsel" of Scripture than to base a doctrine around one or two verses. Cults have been started over that kind of mistake.
"When Esau was 40 years old, he married Judith the daughter of Beeri, the Hittite and Basemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite. But these two women brought a lot of grief to Esau's parents Isaac and Rebekah."
Uh oh. Sounds like trouble. As a parent, it almost sends shivers down my spine to imagine my kids causing me grief. The small or temporary feelings of anger or disappointment I experience with my young children is nothing compared to the parent of a young adult making wrong choices that are likely to harm them. So, it seems far away to me now, but woe to that parent who experiences that. I think I gave my parents grief when I was a young adult, using drugs and choosing a lifestyle that wasn't good for me.
The Austin area is basically closed because of a massive ice storm. (and Lonny Hurley never looked smarter for moving)
I'm working from home for a few days, as the trip to the office could leave me stranded. In reality, my accountant / boss / partner in crime won't let me go. I have driven in ice and snow and am not paralyzed with fear over it. I do not own any chains, though. Anyway, it's a good thing I have a notebook computer and a nice 1 gig jump drive to give me all the files I need to work from home.
Genesis 25 tells of Abraham's life after Sarah. He remarried. His other wife, Keturah, gave h im six sons. He died at age 175. He left all of his stuff to Isaac. He had given gifts to the sons of Hagar (mother of Ishmael), but did not give his inheritance to him. He sent these sons to the East, far away from Isaac.
Some historians point to Isaac and Ishmael as the beginning of the Israeli/Arab conflict. Abraham was the father of both. Ishmael died when he was 137.
I think that'd be a good song idea.
hmmmm....
This feeling I have right now is really cool.
With the great Mat Kearney as my iPod fueled soundtrack, I feel such peace and "lightness" after finalizing this decision.
Now, this might sound a little cheesy or egotistical, but I'm not writing this for a pat on the back. I just wanna be real and share for those that are reading and may care.
I posted an email to two of the three major parties other than myself in this situation, expressing my thoughts and making my choice and decision clear. I decided, since I'm iced in and working at home, that I'd use this opportunity to possibly teach my kids something. I told 'em to come to me and listen. It's not everyday that I make myself vulnerable to my kids, but I wanted to show them and I told them that their dad has problems, too. Difficult situations I have to deal with. I told them the situation, which they could understand, since they know a lot about the magazine. I explained my choice and why I was making my decision. One of my daughters interrupted me before I finished telling them I wanted to pray before I clicked on the "send/receive" button that would send those emails to their destination.
She said, "Treat others the way you would want to be treated."
Wow! That touched my heart. She understood so clearly what the lesson was. In humbling yourself, you might lose on one level, but win on an entirely different -- and more important -- level. Very nice.
I prayed and then we clicked "send/receive."
Well, at least one good benefit has come of this already. One of my friends called me and asked me who was pushing me around. At first I thought he was refering to the devil, since the first thing I mentioned once I got to the phone (in the other room) was my sore knee. Ha ha. It took me awhile to figure out that he read this blog. Another friend emailed me and told me he was praying for me.
He said: "Sounds like you've already seen this for what it is, an opportunity for growth and not just the negative of getting hosed."
So, there's another couple of benefits revealed (having friends that care). Very nice.
And let me say it again: Mat Kearney's music is an excellent soundtrack!
Have you seen that commercial for some cell phone company? Sure you have. You've seen it dozens of times as you've been watching football the past few days...
There's a dad who asks his kids, "What did you get for Christmas?" His daughter and son both got cell phones. "And what did dad get?" His daughter mentioned aftershave. "No. Dad got hosed."
That's how I'm feeling right now. There are some behind-the-scenes things going on right now with my business that are underhanded. I won't share any details about it, because that's just dumb. But I will say that my business (HM Magazine) is getting shoved around and bullied by a bigger business. The options are all negative.
While I am not happy that this was dropped in my lap in an email late last night, I do rejoice that God is giving me a chance to become more like His Son. Even if I make the wrong choice and wrong decisions here, this process will help me develop as His Son. I hope that my choices and decisions will please my Father in Heaven. I'm also hoping that the bully-ing party will see the errors in their ways and change (repent), and an apology would be awesome. But even if they don't behave in the way I'd like them to, I can't get caught up in that. All I can control are the choices that I make.
I am bummed that I'm having to deal with this when there's only 3 days and x-number of hours left before I submit all my files for this issue to the printer, but I trust that God's will be done in my life, even if it's not fun at the time.
I hope no one involved in this reads this blog during this situation. If you do, I'm sorry that you saw this. I didn't post this for you to see or to fulfill any sort of passive-aggressive manipulation of the situation. This is more for me, and maybe God and maybe those on the outside who might possibly get edified by reading it, knowing that a fellow servant is struggling but trying to do the right thing. Maybe just that effort will inspire someone else to do the same. As for you, you can quickly close your browser and pretend you didn't see this.
:?)
It's hard to work over the weekend when there's all these great games to watch .. and then there's the 4-hour premiere of 24's new season.
Abraham remarried after Sarah died. He died later, when he was 175. Rebekah and Isaac had no children after 20 years of being married. "So Isaac asked the Lord to let her have a child, and the Lord answered his prayer." Rebekah felt twins fighting inside her. She asked the Lord why her twins were fighting, and He told her:
"Your two sons will become
two separate nations.
The younger of the two
will be stronger,
and the older son
will be his servant."
Esau was born first (covered with red hair) and the second baby grabbed on to his brother's heel, so they named him Jacob. Isaac was 60 when they had their kids.
Esau became a good hunter and Jacob was a good shepherd. Their parents chose favorites: Isaac favored Esau and Rebekah favored Jacob. Esau came home one day hungry and said,
"I'm starving to death! here and now give me some of that red stew!" That's how Esau got the name "Edom." Jacob replied, "Sell me your rights as the first-born son."
"I'm about to die," Esau answered. "What good will those rights do me?" But Jacob said, "Promise me your birthrights, here and now!" And that's what Esau did. (dummy!) Jacob then gave Esau some bread and some of the bean stew (maybe that's why I don't like beans), and when Esau had finished eating and drinking, he just got up and left, showing how little he thought of his rights as the first-born.
Maybe Esau was dumb. Maybe he's in Heaven and will read this post and exact some sort of revenge on me later. Maybe he'll challenge me to a quiz match and humiliate me in front of a bunch of people. Can you get embarrassed in Heaven? Some people act like all we'll do is smile and laugh and praise. It says God will wipe away our tears and Revelation does describe joyous worship of the Lamb, but will we still experience the range of human emotions? We were created in God's image, ya know...
That's not exactly the kind of swearing Abraham had in mind when he asked his servant to put his hand under his thigh and swear by the Lord. He was actually getting his servant to promise that he'd go find a wife for his son from the land he came from, rather than the place where he now lived. He was getting old in years and expected to die soon. He didn't want a Canaanite woman for his daughter-in-law. And he didn't want his son to move back to where he used to live. God had given him and his offspring the land of Canaan, and moving away would be like giving God back His gift or something. He didn't even want his son to come along for this important wife-finding mission.
This story is quite funny, and profound as well. The servant went to the town of Nahor. He had the ten camels (which were loaded with "all kinds of good things") and waited. He prayed, "O Lord, God of my master Abraham, give me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. May it be that when I say to a girl, 'Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,' and she says, 'Drink, and I'll water your camels too' -- let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master."
The text says that "before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milcah, who was the wife of Abraham's brother Najor. The girl was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever lain with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again." It says: "The servant hurried to meet her." Then he went into his spiel about the water.
You better believed he hurried! When it says "she was very beautiful," it means what it says. This servant could have been shaking and been very nervous and excited about finding such a knockout babe for Isaac to marry. He also could have been pouncing on the idea that she was obviously God's answer to his prayer, since she appeared instantly -- even before he was done praying.
He asked her, "Please give me a little water from your jar." She didn't look at him like he was weird or tell him, "Hey, I came all the way down here with this heavy clay pot to fetch some water for my household. Why don't you go down into the spring and get your own water?" Instead she said, "Drink, my lord," and quickly lowered the har to her hands and gave him a drink. After she had given him a drink (which the servant must've been silently and excitedly waiting to find out what happened next) she said, "I'll draw water for your camels too, until they have finished drinking." She emptied the jar into a trough for the camels to drink and ran back to the well to draw some more, getting enough for all his camels. She not only wet the camels' tongues, she committed to watering them until they'd had their fill. This might've taken a few jarloads of water for ten camels...
When the camels were done drinking, he took out a gold nose ring (that's right) and two gold bracelets. He asked her who her parents were and, in the same breath, asked if he could stay the night. When he heard that they were Abraham's relatives, he was overjoyed. She affirmed that they had enough straw and fodder for all the camels, as well as room for him.
When he got there they told him they'd prepared a meal for him. He said, "I will not eat until I have told you what I have to say." He laid out the story of Abraham's blessings and prosperity and the oath he swore. This oath had an "out," by the way, which let the servant off the hook if the woman refused to come back with him. He explained this "out" clause to them as well. He explained the prayer he said to the Lord and stated that: "Before I finished praying in my heart, Rebekah came out..." This is biblical text that shows that praying silently is valid, real, and biblical. It's always nice to know some of these practical things. Laban and Bethuel told the servant that they wouldn't refuse the Lord and they let her go marry Isaac. The next morning he got ready to go, but a brother and mother of Rebekah tried to talk him into waiting ten days. The servant wisely refused, knowing that giving into this delay might turn into a complete failure of "the mission." They said, "Let's call the girl and ask her about it." When they did, she said, "I will go." So they mounted the many camels and went back to Canaan. Rebekah's nurse (who is mentioned 7 chapters later when she dies) and her maids all went with. It was smart to bring the ten camels, that's for sure.
When they got close they ran into Isaac. Isaac saw the camels approaching. Rebekah looked up and saw Isaac. She asked who it was and when she found out she covered herself with her veil. They got married and he loved her.
I heard a beautiful analogy about this story once:
Abraham is like God our Father.
Isaac is like Jesus the Son.
Abraham's servant is like the Holy Spirit, Who has all the gifts of the Father with Him, which He uses to woo a bride for the Son.
It makes sense, doesn't it?
Poor Abraham, his laughing wife Sarah died in this chapter at age 127. Abraham mourned and wept over her. When there is pain like that, there is love. He then rose from beside his wife's dead body and made inquiries to find a burial place. The people in Hebron (the Hittites) wanted to give him the land and cave to bury her in. "Bury your dead," they repeated. Abraham refused, insisting on paying the going rate for the plot, which was 400 shekels of silver.
This reminds me of righteous people not being stingy or cheap. Take, for example, the friend out at a restaurant with his/her Christian friends after a church service. When the large table gets its check, sometimes people will mince and squeeze trying to figure out exactly what they owe. That's fine -- especially if they tip good (Christians need to tip generously, so as to erase the reputation of being cheap, low tippers) -- but my hero is that person who ate a little of ten dollars worth of food but throws down a twenty to cover any disputes or short-changes around the table. And he or she doesn't expect a round of applause or a band to play after doing this.
"Every day is a nightmare..." Beneath The Sky screams out at me.
I'm 10 days away from the printer. Tonight is a late night at the office. I've got Mary and Martha to accompany me on my late-night writing and layout.
I finished Lost In NashVegas last weekend and loved it. I think author Rachel Hauck really knew her subject (songwriting in Nashville) well. It was those details, the flow of the story and the familiarity this reader had with the background landmarks, etc that really made it fun.
The struggle of the artist from a believer's dependent-upon-God perspective added some depth and learning material to the read, too.
As I was getting ready for work today (okay, I'll confess, I was lathering in the shower), my mind (for some reason) wandered to the role of government and politics in the life of a believer. My major in college was actually Government (which is called "Political Science" at other schools), but I pretty much dropped any interest in politics once I graduated.
Most of us have probably heard a spiritual person declare that Christianity is not equal to right-wing conservative politics. They have pointed out that Christians' involvement in politics in the US has sent a confusing message to people that 'converting to Christianity means converting to the Republican Party.' While I would hate to communicate that message, the proposed solution** doesn't seem right.
Another factor that points to the current emphasis on conservative politics from the "Christian coalition" or the "evangelical right" is that followers of Christ are to put our hope in God, not political leaders. Some would even point to certain historical events (like JFK's assasination and/or Nixon's Watergate scandal) to prove that we cannot put our faith in politics. The sermon on the mount tells us to "seek first the kingdom of God," not the White House (no matter who is in there).
To take the advice of some critics and back away from political activity seems to be a reactionary answer that would prove to be wrong. A good point is this: "Ignoring politics by not voting or not participating in our government (which happens to be a democratic republic) would be foolish. If we have the right to make our voice known, then it would be foolish to ignore such an opportunity. In fact, by not voting or participating, we are making a choice. In many cases, a "no choice" is actually a choice.
So, if we are not to over-emphasize politics but not ignore it either, then perhaps the answer is to find out what "being Christian in the political arena" looks like and feels like. Perhaps being pushy, negative, and "dirty" are examples of what not to do; and maybe there are other methods and attitudes we can take into our involvement with us that will accurately reflect biblical Christianity.
The Bible was written over the course of what...four centuries? So the context we see is very diverse. In one setting we see God instructing the people how to govern themselves (by giving them the Law as well as kings and judges from time to time). In the New Testament we see believers living under the reign of a somewhat evil empire.
A few passages about leadership have probably been used a lot. The Bible does say that God moves the hearts of kings and Jesus said that "all authority comes from the Father," so even a bad leader is given to the people by God's authority and nothing escapes His control or approval. It might accurately be said that "God gives us the leaders we deserve."
There are diverse types of governments around the world (duh), and the imprint of the Bible can be found in many of them. There are apparently documents that we can find that show how early American leaders urged their people to choose leaders "full of the Holy Spirit." That sounds like a good idea to me. A Christian that is wise is better qualified than a Christian that isn't. A wise non-believer would be a better leader than a foolish Christian, I would think.
Even Communisim has some roots in biblical Christianity, with wealth being common. I think they seriously deviated from this "book of Acts" model by forcing that upon the population, though. In the book of Acts believers gave out of their own good will. It wasn't enforced by a government and it wasn't legislated alongside mass killings nor the evil of ethnic cleansing.
So, maybe we could learn how to be truly Christian or truly biblical and also be politically active. What do you think?
I was listening to a CD of the New Testament (I think it's called The Experience, I can't remember) with my dad on the way into work this morning. We listened to the disc with 1st, 2nd, and 3rd John (it's a 25-minute commute) and enjoyed its message.
"Love one another" is a common theme. It talked about loving other believers. I think of the friends I have that have walked away from the Lord. I think one of the things they probably did early on is stop loving fellow believers. Maybe John knew that and that's why he preached that message over and over and over again.
The first stage is getting angry and indignant over something really goofy or stupid that a fellow believer does. Somehow that goes unchecked (no one is there to remind them not to judge or they don't even try to understand that person's heart) and turns into "un-love." Then they develop cynicism and don "cynic glasses" and tend to see a lot of believers with mistrust, cynicism and judgment. It can happen to any of us, myself included, of course.
Losing fellowship and distancing ourselves isolates us and makes us vulnerable to "the walk" (as in walking away from God).
I actually believe that we might as well curse at God, drop the f-bomb and the middle finger in His face ... if we're going to walk away from Him. If we're going to ignore or blow God off, we might as well go all the way and verbalize our heart's actions (and speak forth hatred/disbelief), putting flesh on our self-imposed enmity. I think it's a more honest action to coincide with the heart that ignores Him. I guess I look at the extremes of love and hatred, where I would put apathy right up there with hatred ... or I'd at least encourage the apathetic one to start hating, because the result is the same in the end -- broken relationship.
I guess one point Don Miller keeps making is true: this Christianity thing is meant to be lived in community. Something about the way we're wired makes us dependent upon others. There is a part of all of us that hates that, that resists that, that wishes we could just "do it all" on our own.
Chad Kroeger of Nickelback laughed at me over the phone when I made a statement like, "Every one I know that's stopped going to church has munched it in their spiritual life." It can easily be interpreted as: "If you don't go to church, you stop being a Christian." I guess I believe that to be true, although it is a different measurement for everyone. Some people have more tolerance and strength than others, and God gives us grace and strength at certain times when we need it. If we have to walk through a jungle or don't have fellowship for 40 days at a time, that's okay. It's when one week becomes two and then four and one month becomes six and before you know it, we don't "belong" or "live" in/with a church anymore.
Maybe a good analogy is like food/nutrients and vitamins. We need them. They are preventative medicine. Fellowship is like that. It keeps us healthy.
Those metal friends (not feinds, friends) have done another really cool thing. In the spirit of "end of year lists," their January 2007 issue features members from four Christian hard music bands (Demon Hunter, Underoath, As I Lay Dying, and Norma Jean). And the writer has said two amazing things (more than two, but let me say this...):
He's coined a new phrase for the Christian hard music movement:
NWOCHM
(New Wave Of Christian Heavy Metal, kind of like the NWOBHM in the 80s or the NWOAHM in the last couple of years).
And he's described the people in these bands as:
"They don't shun secular mainstream,
and they don't try and slip you pamphlets trumpeting the Good News.
Instead, these guys have become the pamphlets:
young dudes in awesome bands who go about their business and just seem a little bit happier thane veryone else on the scene."
Wow, this is like the believers from the church in Antioch being called "Christians" for the first time. This is like what Paul the Apostle talked about, being Living Epistles, or living examples of a Christ-like life.
This is real good news and an amazing thing to be thankful for.
I knew I'd probably like this book when I saw the name of the novel. Anyone who knows just a little of the insides of the Christian (or Country) music business knows that the label "Nash Vegas" is a good one. Amidst all the glitter and glamour of celebrities and the music biz digs is the underlying cut-throat business side of the city. Now that I've ventured 10 chapters into the book, I'm loving it.
It's one thing to read a novel about a business or scene that you're aware of. It just makes it better when the landmarks (buildings, street names, etc) are all familiar, too.
I have a recommendation to make: This novel by Rachel Haucks is a good one that is set in music city with a talented young singer songwriter making a move to "go for it" and chase her dream of a music career. It'll be fun to see what kind of characters we run into.