Doug Van Pelt

The 3-wheeled Lawnmower

My lawnmower is now a 3-wheeler again. It hit a piece of rebar a few years ago and was a funny site on three wheels. My dad helped me fix it by drilling another hole for the front wheel axle, but it somehow gave way tonight as I mowed the lawn (while I was starting it, of all things).

I went to a different church today, as my friend Paul Q-Pek is planning on moving out of town soon and I wouldn't have another chance to see him lead worship nearby. I have been going to my church on Saturday nights, so visiting another place on Sunday is very doable. It was really cool. Seemed like someone had prayed before the service, because it was almost as if the air was lighter, and it was easy to "enter in" to worship. Lots of different styles were covered, including a Jewish type song with lots of rhythm. They did a rocked out rendition of "Christ the Solid Rock" with a hiphop ending. Very fun.

Tomorrow starts my new work week schedule, where I'll compact 40 hours of work into four ten-hour days, with Friday's off. We'll see how it goes. At some time this week I'll christen HM Ranch with an HM banner on the Southeast fence corner.

Why I Believe In God...

A ten year old from Austin, Texas:
Because He is real. Because I want to go to heaven. I can't think of anything else right now.

A seven-year old from Hutto, Texas:
I don't know. I guess because that He is real and there is no other God and He proved that He was God... I think it was Moses who asked Him to make the towel wet and the ground around it dry. And when he woke up it happened. That's all.

A 43-year old from Thrall, TX:
Because it doesn't make sense that there would be no God that created all that we see around us. I mean, man is pretty smart, but creating a human eyeball or a brain and all its nuerons and electrical impulses firing on a micro/nano level all over the body. We can't come close to making a complex "machine" like that. So, looking around makes me believe that there is a God. Believing in the God of the Bible and His Son Jesus and the Holy Spirit is something that I came to trust in after I felt like He proved Himself to me. Many small miracles came true for me during my "journey to the cross," and it convinced me that He's real.

Part One: The Internet

Well, phase one is looking good.
I'm on the internet on my desktop computer.

Now I need to make sure my smtp settings for outgoing email work properly, as I'm using a new ISP.

Then I need to make sure I'm fully integrating with the network here, sharing the laser printer;
and then it's hooking up the Vonage phone system.

Flight 93

I rec'd a "screener" copy of the Fox movie, Flight 93, about the people involved in that hijacked plane on September 11th that went down in rural Pennsylvania. From the start of that day, to newscasts of the World Trade Center and Pentagon, to the fiery end, the personal stories and the terrible action, a realistic viewpoint is captured (and edited well). My wife didn't really want to watch it with me last night, because she knew it would be gut-wrenching. but I told myself that I had to watch it before it hit theaters this Friday, or the uniqueness of having a "screener" would be lost. (so funny and silly am I sometimes...). I imagine that some people in crowded theaters this weekend might freak out. It is very emotional and the idea of an enemy from the Middle East doing so much damage to our country is provoking. I'd hate to be such a person in the theater sitting in front of a redneck or other such volatile personality. This movie brings the tragedy home again. I think it's a good thing that we as a country don't forget what happened; and I'm baffled as to why the media apparently collectively agreed not to air any more 9/11 footage; and it seems almost proper that we would be forced to deal with the Middle East at this time. God's people were originally placed in the Middle East. God's chosen weren't white Europeans. It's foolish to think that we are uniquely His... It is no surprise that we're forced to mingle with and try to untangle if possible the mess that is that region. Perhaps it is the Last Days and/or perhaps it is repercussions of previous wrongs done over there.

xxx

The juxtaposition of my puppy in the morning -- 11-month old Biscuit bounding and wagging his tail as joy bursts from his small body -- and my tired, still-waking-up body and brain reminds me of the difference between the joy and life of the Spirit and my corrupted self. There's a certain unwillingness to "enter in" that needs to be willfully overcome.

In chapter 5 Rees Howells is confronted in a serious way about the Holy Spirit's role and place in his life. I can relate to how cost-counting and serious this decision to surrender to God's Spirit can be. I'm a little put off by the somewhat superficial and experiential way the "baptism of the Holy Ghost" is presented sometimes. I believe that "speaking in tongues" is a real gift to be experienced and received today. I even believe that the so-called "slain in the Spirit" thing is real (though I've never experienced it). But all I can say is that for me, asking Jesus to "baptize me in the Holy Spirit" wasn't some kind of cheerleading event, like I've witnessed before. It wasn't even emotional. It was one of those "gulp, do I really want to do this?" moments, where I paused and counted the cost. For me it meant I was going to forever be "on call," like a doctor or nurse with a pager, and the Lord might wake me up in the middle of the night or call me out of some other "comfort zone" to do something for Him and others. I remember the soberness of that moment like it was yesterday. I'm not saying that my life has been a "wild ride" since that moment, or that it is ever full of "divine appointments" and miracles, but I still want to be counted on as a servant of the Spirit, obeying Him when He calls.

I've found that my self is still the same old character -- selfish and desiring to ever serve self. But at least it's fairly easy to hear the Lord's voice. Whenever I listen to His "still small voice" in my head and get instructions to act in a way that's out of my comfort zone, I don't pretend that it's my self/flesh/imagination speaking -- cuz that's not the direction I naturally want to travel in. I doubt that it's the enemy of our souls, either. I can say from experience, though, that any time I step out and obey, endeavoring to be used by the Lord in service to other people (which it almost always is), it is a very rewarding and fulfilling experience. If I was chasing joy and happiness, this is a paradoxical way to get it, but it'd be the way.

xxx

This morning I'll be packing my "office at home" desk and computer and setting it up at the HM Ranch. I'm kind of excited. Working out of my home the last four months have had its benefits, but this "new" environment should be cool.

Welsh Revival

Rees returned to Wales in 1904, in the midst of "the great revival." It seemed like an amazing time. The services were kind of orchestrated by themselves after the first hymn was sang. People would speak and sometimes be interrupted by choruses of song and prayer, yet there "was no sense of discord or break in the harmony." Some complained, but one old preacher replied "that he preferred the noise of the city to the silence of the cemetery!"

It was a testimony of what the church could do if it were in one mind and spirit. "The church had seen over and over again what the Lord could do through a yielded evangelist or pastor, such as Moody or Finney, but in the Welsh Revival it was a divine power manifested through the church. The keynote was, 'Bend the church and save the world.'"

The big focus was saving souls, and many came to the Lord, with much rejoicing in the church. "But the real problem arose as the revival proceeded and thousands were added to the churches. There were more children born than there were nurses to tend them. The establishing of the converts became the greatest need, which if not met would be the most dangerous weakness of the revival."

While Rees was still young in the faith, he was a bit more advanced than the converts of the revival. It became apparent that "intercessors and teachers" were needed, "to take the burden of the new-born babes, and to pray and lead them on." The intercessors soon found out that the church has an enemy that can't be fought with carnal weapons.

"They needed what they themselves had not yet received: the enduement of the Holy Ghost for service. As Rees Howells said later: 'The intercession of the Holy Ghost for the saints in this present evil world must be made through believers filled with the Holy Ghost.' It was this that brought him and others to feel their need of the fullness."

They had joy and satisfaction, but not the power they needed. Some people blamed the converts for backsliding, "but we blamed ourselves, because we were not in a position to pray them through to victory. Oh, the tragedy, to be helpless in front of the enemy when he was sifting young converts like wheat!"

They read in Isaiah 59, where there was no man and no intercessor, and they felt that was their case, too. They wisely realized that the joy and emotion they had was real, but it was not proof of the enduement of the Spirit. They saw in the Scriptures how the disciples were told to tarry until they were endued, and they "worshipped Him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy." Since they had joy before the power, they saw that joy wasn't proof of it. So they were very aware of their need for the Spirit and His power.

Jeremy Kerley

This kid at Hutto High School is an amazing athlete. He's started at quarterback on the football team his freshman year. The ball (and game) was placed in his hands at the State Championship this year, where, unfortunately he was sacked on the last play of a 34-38 loss. Turns out he's a star basketball player, too. And he runs track, and he's got a .433 batting average in baseball! Wow. I sure hope he dominates next year in his senior season -- especially in football. What an amazing kid. It's been fun to watch him play.

xxx

Rees Howells was born again in chapter 3. It's an amazing story. First, he got typhoid fever, and his fear of death was immense. "Give me one more chance," he cried (to the Lord), "and I will give my life to You."

"There was a vow in that cry. The Lord saw to that before He answered, and even as the cry went up Rees knew in his heart that he was not to die. From that moment he began to recover, but he was a changed man. 'As I faced losing all and entering an eternal darkness, I touched real life for the first time,' he said. 'I had seen the world at its very best taking me down to a lost eternity, and I knew I owed my all to the God Who had delivered me.'"

For the next five months he "searched daily for the way to God." He travelled far to meet with his cousin, who knew the Way, but was "unable to make it clear to Rees."

Something happened at a series of meetings led by a converted Jew, named Maurice Reuben from Pittsburgh, who told his story. "Reuben told the story of his conversion and how the Holy Spirit had revealed Calvary to him. 'I had heard preaching on Calvary scores of times before and believed it,' said Rees, 'but I had never seen Calvary before that night.'"

This guy Reuben was overwhelmed that Jews were the first followers of Jesus, Who said to a Jew (Peter), "On this rock will I build My church." He was a rich man, and he was struck by the story of the rich young (Jewish) ruler of the first century, who gave all he had to the poor to inherit the kingdom of God. "Reuben saw it was that if Jesus had told that young man to sell all to inherit eternal life, how could he, Reuben, inherit the same gift, unless on the same condition?" He faced it clearly and seriously. He heard a voice repeat to him the words of John 14:6, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life; no man cometh unto the Father but by Me." He accepted Christ at that very moment. He then told his brother, who owned a lucrative store with him, and others. According to their father's will, he was to forfeit every penny if he changed his religion, but his brother offered him 70,000 pounds (his share of the business) if he would cross the country and retire (which he could with that kind of money in those days) in Montana. He replied, "I have had the light in Pittsburgh, and I am going to witness in Pittsburgh." Shortly thereafter he was then taken by detectives to jail, where he was asked about the voice he had heard. He was then taken to an insane asylum, where he almost lost it, but poured his heart out to the Lord and saw a vision of the cross.

Two weeks into this ordeal his brother came to visit him and urged him to go to Montana. Reuben replied, "Does that offer still stand? Then it is not a medical condition but something else that is keeping me here!" Some Christian friends got Reuben a court case, where the judge refered to the apostle Paul hearing a voice, decrying, "This is a disgrace to the American flag." He urged Reuben to prosecute anyone involved in his arrest/incarceration/commital. He replied that he wouldn't prosecute anyone, and crossed the courtroom to shake hands with his brother, who turned his back. He then approached his own wife, who did the same.

What a great loss. "But what a victory he had in his own soul!"

"He rented a small room in Chicago, where he lived alone with the Lord and won many converts." A year later his wife came to hear him in a camp meeting, where she was converted. For the first time Reuben saw a son that was born to them just after his wife left him. She said she'd make her home with him if "only he would earn a living as other Christians did." This was an obviously tough decision for him to make, as "her request seemed reasonable, but he knew that the Lord had called him from the world into this life of faith. He pleaded with the Lord, but the only reply he received was, 'Back to Egypt!' It was enough, and once more Reuben embraced the cross. He went to see his wife and child off; it was a costly experience; but as the train steamed out of the station it seemed that God poured the joy of heaven into his soul. He literally danced on the platform. He did not see his wife for another three years. Then, in another camp meeting, she too had a revelation of the cross. As a result of this she testified that, whereas before as a believer she had not been willing to share the sacrificial life of her husband, if it would be for God's glory she would now be willing to beg her bread from door to door. They were reunited and she became a wonderful co-worker with him in his ministry."

Rees Howells was moved by Reuben's story. He had been looking for someone who "lived the Sermon on the Mount" as a test or fleece before he himself gave in to the Lord (what stubbornness, huh?). He felt the Lord asking him that night, "Is this the man?" He too saw the cross, and wept and wept for who knows how long. He was born again. "He broke me, and everything in me went right out to Him. 'Then He spoke to me and said, 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock. May I come in to you, as I came in to Reuben and took the place of wife and son and home and store and world? Will you accept Me?' 'Yes,' I replied, and He came in, and that moment I changed. I was born into another world. I found myself in the kingdom of God, and the Creator became my Father. That night I received the gift of eternal life, that gift which money cannot buy.'"

Not long after he felt a call to return back home to England to witness to his own folk. This thought was "crystalized" for him within a few days by a temptation regarding his love for money. His manager offered him a huge raise -- to $12 a day, which would require more of his time. He turned it down and made an effort to leave as soon as he could.

Chapter 2

Rees Howells Intercessor continues on in the biography of young Rees' life. His ambition was strong, and this young man from Wales was determined to move to America to make money -- lots more than his peers in Wales would make in half the time.

Before he left for America, he heard a sermon at church (a service he arrived late to and stood in the vestibule, listening) that would change his life. The minister was reading out of Hebrews 12:

"Wherefore, seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses..."

"These witnesses," he said, "are the men of faith mentioned in the previous chapter and we ought to realize they are around us; we know they are real, because Moses and Elijah spoke to the Savior on the Mount of Transfiguration, and the disciples saw them." The minister then said straight out, just as if he knew Rees was listening, "Young man, you may be leaving home, you may be going to a place where your parents will not see you; but remember, the cloud of witnesses and God will see you."

I am resonating with this, because this passage has a similar effect on me -- I believe it to be true. This is a great motivator for me sometimes, because I share the same Holy Spirit that helped and empowered those heroes of the faith. As an ambitious young man (relatively young, haha) myself, I, too, want to be a hero. That common dream of being Superman or maybe a fireman or heroic soldier -- these daydreams that little boys have still remain in me somewhere. I would cry and weep tears of gratitude and have goosebumps of joy at the thought of somehow being used of God in a great world-changing way (knowing that "changing the world" for one person is huge, just like transforming a nation is huge). I digress, but I think it would be so cool to hear the shouts of these witnesses say, "You go, girl!" Well, I wouldn't want to be called a girl, but maybe one of my sisters in the faith will hear such an encouragement. I think of that encouraging vibe from these "witnesses," as opposed to some spying gig, waiting for me to trip up. It does motivate me in a preventative way, though; as it makes me consider that no "secret sins" are really secret. Even though I wouldn't lose the love of my Father in heaven, nor His favor, disappointing Him or even those witnesses would be sad. If that's what it takes to keep me from stealing or commiting some other "secret sin" that I might be able to "get away with" on earth, I am all for it. Living rightly is a blessing, both before, during, and after the "right living" stuff. Having a clean conscious is a blessing.

One by-product of "right living," though, can be the deceptive notion that things are cool with me and God. This was a problem that faced Rees Howells. He was "the best young man in the congregation," according to his minister. But when Rees' cousin, Evan Lewis, challenged him with the question of, "Are you born again," it haunted him. He fought it for a long time, always ending in fruitless arguments with his cousin, but he eventually found that God was "on his trail," like the "gracious Hound of Heaven...'with unhurrying chase, the unperturbed pace,' with 'those strong feet that followed, followed after.'"

The plight of the righteous man can be that he becomes self-righteous or righteous in his own eyes, without ever being truly pardoned by the Only One Who can cleanse man from his sinful DNA. Knowing the little that I know about Howells' life, I think the question of, "Does he become born again?" isn't too mysterious to figure out.

xxx

I went to a rock show last night, which was a special treat. I never do this, but I grabbed an Austin Chronicle (Austin's entertainment guide paper, which is political, cultural, etc, and given away at many local venues and restaurants) and brought it to the table as I ate with my family. On my way in to the restaurant, Cafe Serranos, my youngest daughter said, "The last time we came here was the saddest day of my life, because it was right after you flipped your car." I believe we'd visited there once since last May, but it was true, after crawling out from the wreckage, talking to EMS workers and police and the other driver, I got in my wife's car and we continued on in our journey to eat out. Anyway (I digress again), I was flipping through the club/venue ad section to see what shows were coming. Mute Math has two shows (an early 6pm and a "late" 10pm show at Stubb's on May 5. Eisley has a headlining show at La Zona Rosa the same night. We plan on taking in the early and the Eisley show, which should be fun. Then I glanced over the Antone's ad and saw Slave to the System. I couldn't believe it. This wasn't even supposed to be a "real" (touring) band! But they had a show that same day for only $6. I told my wife, "I have to go to this." Come to find out that the band isn't "real," but they can tour every once in a while and put out an album every so often, too. So this show was really a special treat.

Creator Creation Creating

My new business cards arrived yesterday. This was a big deal, because it's something I designed. I asked Monty Colvin if he was okay with me using an old illustration/painting that he had done of me for his comic strip, Gas Fist. It has the HM logo on it, my image, and my pertinent information. That's not what's exciting, though. The exciting part was that this was one of many "creations" I had been working on and now it was time to hold it in my hands. There's something really rewarding and healthy about that, I believe.

Like a carpenter, a painter, or a graphic designer, being able to see the fruit of your labor is gratifying. I can't imagine being a manager or an accountant. Yes, there are ways of seeing the fruit of this labor, but it's not always as visual or tangible as these other things.

That's one reason why I like to encourage everyone to paint.

"Me? Paint? Get out of here!"
Everyone. Yes, you.

Go buy some acrilyic paints (get the primary colors...like red, yellow, and blue. Maybe get black and white, too. Get one or two brushes (a thin one and a thick one). You don't need canvas, but can get some thick paper (thicker than typing paper, but thinner than cardboard. This will absorb the paint well. Start painting.

"Paint what?"

Paint a house. Design a new postage stamp, complete with the archway frame thing around it. Draw a rectangle made of two solid triangles -- see how one color contrasts with another. Experiment with splatter. (get your paint a little wet, and use a straw to blow the paint across the page. Maybe your first several paintings will be worth very little in your eyes. Maybe you'll create something that you actually want to keep. After doing this for a couple weeks (any good habit gets pretty ingrained at the three week mark), you will have accomplished a great goal -- you will have started creating.

This is similar to what God's character is like (or one simple facet of it). He is a Creator. He created everything we see. All matter. Every sunset is a result of His creation, set in motion by His Word. I think He likes creating. I think He must love art. Artists reflect back God's creation to the Creator, shaping some part of creation to reflect back the creation all around. This is a form of worship or glory-giving -- even if the intent of the artist doesn't even conceive of that motive.

The very first job that God gave man was a creative job. God asked Adam to name the animals. Can you imagine doing that? The first catipillar, the monkey, the dog, the giraffe, the bear, the elephant, the ostrich. That would be some kind of chore, but maybe a fun one. Maybe the next time any of us goes to the zoo we could bring a notepad and pen, and rename all the animals. Maybe we could get a glimpse of how fun that would be.

So, it's been an exciting couple of months in that regard. A new issue of HM just got delivered to me yesterday, along with the new edition of Heaven's Metal Fanzine. There's been new shirts, new stickers, new mailing labels, and new media kits for the magazine. I tell ya, it's been a real creative season for me lately; and it's so much fun.

I am constantly amazed at the power of our family when a new issue of Heaven's Metal Fanzine arrives. I get back to my roots by sitting down and slapping on the mailing labels of each copy, stamp a return address and a "first class" stamp, as well as postage, and then I seal the envelopes. It's mostly been my wife and I this time, but often our whole family gets involved. We even had an alien help us with an issue once (a Canadian). It reminds me of the old days when Heaven's Metal Magazine was sent out that way. This sort of "get down and dirty" approach really brings one face to face with their creation. Lots of fun. I'll be toting a few bins full of zines to the post office here in a few minutes.

Virtual Book Club

If anyone wants to get Rees Howells Intercessor and "follow along," let me know (and I'll stall before moving onward, so as to give you time to get the book in hand, etc).
:?)

Coca-Cola Blak

Coca-Cola Blak™
This stuff tastes AWFUL! Imagine pouring a cold cup of coffee into a glass half-full of Coke™. now drink it. Yuck! A better description might be taking one of those canisters of Coke™ syrup from a soda fountain and chugging it straight. Wow. This is some sick tasting stuff. Very thick and syruppy and coffee strong. I will be shocked if this drink takes off. But at least now I know (avoid this stuff).

While I'm still deliberating on which devotional to go through, I picked up Rees Howells Intercessor. Norman Grubb writes in the forward:

"I count it as one of the great privileges of my life to have had a hand in preparing this biography of Rees Howells. I first met Mr. Howells in 1928. I was then a missionary on furlough, and as I spent a few days with him at the Bible College of Wales, which was then in its young days, light simply poured into my soul as he took time to tell me some of the Lord's inner dealings with him. It was one of the great experiences of my life. I learned secrets of the Spirit -- as the One come down to do His mighty work through human agents -- which revolutionized my future ministry."

Wow. What high praise to bestow upon a person. This guy must've been a real gem. The way he influenced and impacted people was amazing. I guess the Bible College of Wales had some incredible things go on, as Grubb refers to those days as its "young days," probably before the incredible moving things occured.**

Tom Howells was the only remaining member of the family still living in the old home at the time of writing this book. He was known to have said, "The Spirit is full of jokes." He was described as "beyond measure large-hearted, irrepressible in the joy of the Lord which poured out of him." And also described of him: "who bore on his heart the world's deep suffering and sin till it broke him..."

Those are the kind of people I want to learn from -- people who weep in prayer.
The author closes his introduction with the benediction: "May God meet with many in reading this book, as He has with the author in writing it."

[If you want to, grab a copy of this book (Rees Howells Intercessor, CLC Publications) and "follow along," leaving comments as we go through it...]

The first chapter, "The Early Years," tells of young Rees' boyhood days. His family had converted in the 1859 Revival, and one description of a Black Mountain place he liked to visit was silent except for the bleeting of sheep and the sound of his grandmother reading the Bible to his invalid Uncle Dick. I thought of what life was like back then in England and how the imprint of believers' lives and revivals** and the work of the Spirit has left upon that nation. I think of artists like Led Zeppelin and others, whose artwork bears that imprint in places. Many young men in Britain choose a life of sin and pleasure, but many of them know the choice they are making and the Gospel to which they might be resisting. It makes me wonder:

Perhaps God tarries the return of His Son for this very reason -- watching and being delighted in the reproduction of His kingdom through families like the Howells. It's almost a magical thing how love for Jesus can be reproduced in others. Wow. Amidst all the suffering in the world, perhaps the joy that God is seeing in His people is a motivating factor in perpetuating the earth's time away from its destruction. I don't know. It's just a thought, but I know it must make God happy to see His people living for and loving Him, and how that effects the people around these God-lovers. That's sweet.

** - these are things worth checking out...

Superficial am I

Yesterday afternoon there was a "rolling blackout" in Central Texas. I was working and around 4:05pm the electricity went out. The temperatures were over 100 and that is abnormally high for this time of year, when some 40% or so of the power stations are down for maintenance. The power managers monitored all of this and when things got "tight" they shut power down for awhile. The temperature is supposed to be about as hot today, and they ask for reduced power use from 3 to 7pm today.

What's funny is how concerned I became over whether or not I'd be able to watch or record the television show, 24. I even called a friend to see if they'd be able to tape if for me. Fortunately, for my superficial ways, the power was back up around 7pm or so and we were able to watch fugitive Jack Bauer try to take down the limp-hearted President Logan.

This morning I'll be out at the HM Ranch, overseeing the construction of a septic tank system, so we can poop while working at HM (showering, making coffee, and other water usage needs apply here, too). This will make me miss the familiar sight and sound of a Fed Ex truck pulling up with a 3-inch by 9" x 12" package containing 10 copies of the brand new issue. My wife and kids will see it before I do. I can't wait.

I'm going to try a new beverage in a few minutes as I head out to the ranch -- Black Coke, a coffee and soda mix. I saw a four-pack last night and couldn't resist trying it out. If it makes an impression, I'll give a full report later.

As for this blog, I think I'm going to go through a devotional. We'll see how that goes.

Over the weekend, I got 100 copies of the re-mastered, re-issue of Lust Control's We Are Not Ashamed. It was so fun to see that finished product.

The Spirit and the Bride say Come

The book of Revelation end the Bible with a bang -- a vision of God's kingdom is described. A kingdom where the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them." That is exciting.

"They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

That might kill my theory that tears of joy will be present in heaven. Oh well, if God's got something better in mind than tears of joy, bring it on!

"It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars -- their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death."

It's interesting that God wants us to be brave, and not cowardly.

"No longer will there be any curse."

That is a beautiful thought, and interesting. We live with a curse. The ground is cursed. Work is a curse. Mankind is cursed (with sin). The great flaw will be removed. What will that be like? I imagine the change will be a greater sensation than zero gravity is to astronauts. It's hard to imagine life without the gravitational-type pull of sin.
Wow.

On Friday my daughter went to our community mailbox to retrieve the mail. It took her longer than ten minutes to make the three-minute journey, so I got up and went outside. She was pushing a large, 14" x 14" box on the sidewalk with her foot. "Who is it from?" I asked. "Matt somebody..." I knew what it was: copies of the new (old, but remastered) Lust Control album. It was fun to open that and see the final product. It's one of the fun things about a creative job. You can hold the fruit of your labor in your hands.

This blog has just reached the end of the Bible, and the end of a Devotional Bible I was going through as a guide. I wonder what I'll do for the blog from now on...?

A pregnant lady and a dragon

I was almost listening to my daughter tell me a story about a television movie she had watched. I wanted to tune her out, as the details of the story weren't interesting to me. As she talked a mile a minute, I caught myself and realized that just listening to my child -- no matter what the context -- was something to be cherished and enjoyed. I could still care less about some movie about teenagers and milk or something, but for her I can be interested. And for her I can listen and cherish the moment, as soon the years will fly by and I would wish for a fast and furious explanation of some kids movie. I wonder if God feels that way sometimes, where He couldn't really care much for the details but cherishes the moment when we are talking to Him about something. We matter to Him way more than the text of our story, but His love for us compells Him to pay attention. I wonder...

I read Revelation 12 today, which talks about "a great and wondrous sign" appearing in heaven:

"a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head. She was pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth. Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on his heads. His tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth. The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so that he might devour her child the moment it was born. She gave brith to a son, a male child, who will rule all the nations with an iron sceptor. And her child was snatched up to God and to His throne. The woman fled into the desert to a place prepared for her by God, where she might be taken care of for 1,260 days. And there was war in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven. The great dragon was hurled down -- that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him."

This description of battle tells us the ending, which is that God's angels defeat Satan. That's good to know. But it also reveals a little bit about the strength of Satan. I have all to easily dismissed him as a defeated enemy, but the fact that he fought back against Michael and his angels speaks of a strength. Being able to stand there and fight shows much strength. I knew or thought I understood that Satan was brave and delusional enough to fight against God's forces, but I never thought much about his ability to resist some of the heavenly forces. That is some strength.

A loud voice in heaven said:

"Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of His Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death."

In this passage we see Satan described as "the accuser of the brethren." I think of the book of Job, where Satan accuses God of giving Job special treatment. While Christ is described as ever living to intercede for us, Satan is conversely described as always accusing us. This motivates me to align myself with Christ, and intercede for my brothers and sisters in the faith, rather than accuse them (which would align me with Satan).

I wonder if the color of this dragon (red) is where the classic symbol of Satan or the devil being red comes from...?

The Wait Is Over

A mighty angel said (in Rev 10):

"There will be no more delay! But in the days when the seventh angel is about to sound his trumpet, the mystery of God will be accomplished, just as He announced to His servants the prophets."

Some amazing stuff happened before John in this vision. In chapter 11 he writes about "two witnesses" who are given power to prophesy with signs, but they are struck down and killed by "the beast" and their bodies lay out in the open for three days. God breathes life into them and they come alive -- to the astonishment of the whole earth. Then they ascend into heaven in a cloud.

Loud voices in heaven later declare:

"The kingdom of the world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ, and He will reign for ever and ever."

Later God's temple is opened and the ark of His covenant is seen.

I bet old John's heart sure was beating fast when he saw all this. What a glorious vision. I bet he was breathless. Poor guy had to try and describe what he saw. We're still trying to figure out what he meant by certain descriptions.

The Unforgettable Fire

I was woken up this morning by my wife:

"It's 7:10!" she blurted. I was scheduled to speak at Youth Alive, a student Christian group on the campus of Crockett High School. It's located in South Austin, so I set my alarm for 6am to make the commute through the bottleneck of downtown on IH-35. After a 10-second shower, I took a swig of bottled water sitting at my desk, threw on some clothes and headed out the door. The meeting started at 8-8:15 and went to 9am.

I arrived at the high school right about 8:17, asked someone where the Principal's Office was and headed in to find out where this group met. The lady at the front desk didn't know where the group met. I whipped out my cell phone to ask my wife to preview the email with the invite on it again. Just then the m orning announcements started and one about the Youth Alive group meeting in the library gave me the info I needed. I headed over with about 20 copies of HM in tow.

Seems the group hadn't kicked into gear yet, so it was a relief to not be too late or miss anything. One of the adult leaders was this guy I met 13 years ago -- Dominique (a really good drummer who attended a Nova Shalom marriage class back when we were all newlyweds years ago). An acoustic guitarist and a bongo drummer led us through "God Of Wonders" and another worship song I knew (those kind are always the easiest ones to sing and worship along to).

Dominique introduced me and I shared a little bit about my identity as a child of God and explained one cool detail about my personal heritage of faith. My grandparents grew up in a small town in Kansas, but retired in Garden Grove, California. They became born again, even after being simply "church-goers" their entire lives. They both had a keen interest to work with young people, but one day God told my grandad, "I can't use you."

"What?!" My grandad must've been shocked. That still small voice of the Lord continued, "I can't use you because you hate someone." As soon as the Lord said that, my grandad knew what guy He was talking about. He scheduled a trip back to Kansas and reconciled with that man. He and grandma went on to a very fruitful ministry to young people in SoCal in the beginning, middle and "end" of the "Jesus movement."

One could argue that it's never ended, but the phenomenal numbers of hippies coming to Christ has slowed down, as have the numbers of people in the USA that would label themselves as "hippies."

Anyway, I wanted to point out that cool story. I've been told that people don't remember the things you tell them. They'll forget every word and Scripture you read to them. But they'll remember your stories. This is a generalization, of course, but I tell stories.

I shared how I believed that young people need not worry about discovering or unlocking the mysterious will of God for their lives. "Compared to your relationship with God," I said, "I don't think God cares what you do with your life." I shared how none of us pleads for God's wisdom when we're shopping for soda or toothpaste. And I underscored my qualified statement that compared to our relationship with Him, He doesn't care what we do with our lives. Doctor, missionary, lawyer, whatever. If we remain close to God, He'll take care of where we end up.

I also shared that we have the incredible potential inside of us. We have the same Spirit inside of us that raised Jesus from the dead. Who knows if someone in that circle of 12 to 15 students wasn't going to do something epic and heroic and incredible in the next week, year, or decade. We could be heroes of the faith. But, with the incredible potential for good, we also have the potential for bad.

I shared the story about my college roommate John. Both he and his girlfriend's name were on my prayer list, which sat on my desk in my room. I had specific people I'd pray for on certain days, as well as a list for daily prayers. One night relaxing in a jacuzzi he told me how much he appreciated having me pray for him. He looked me right in the eye and told me that he'd never had anybody pray for him. That was a rewarding moment. But it goes bad from there. Later that year during Spring break he and his frat buddies were vacationing in South Padre Island, Texas. His dog, a black lab named Tripper, would pee on our hardwood floors at the drop of a pin. And then when you'd yell at him for peeing on the floor, he'd cower and piddle again. This happend on a Sunday morning as I was getting ready for church. I decided to shut him in the bathroom with the three things he was frightened of the most: my skateboard, a basketball, and the vacuum cleaner. While I was off at church, John's girlfriend came over to feed Tripper. When she opened the door, she told me that he was so frightened that he fell into the toilet on his way out of his torture chamber.

When John returned, he told me that after the phone call he wanted to return immediately and beat the tar out of me. He also looked right into my eyes and said, "Everything you've told me..." (and I knew exactly what he was referring to -- discussions about Jesus and faith) "...it means nothing."

I had completely blown my witness with this friend and roommate. So, I shared that to underline the fact that we can blow it. I told them about The Miracle Faith Telethon of Love Album by Edward Daniel Taylor, who had a "Fruit O Ministry" tote board, where they counted up "the number of souls saved by the ministry and subtracted the number of hearts permanently hardened towards the Gospel" to come up with a grand fruit total. "Number of souls saved: 25. Number of hearts permanently heardened towards the Gospel: 253 million! People! We've got negative fruit here!!!"

I gave away copies of the magazine and answered a few questions. It was cool. They seemed very receptive and glad to have me there. On my way home I visited my old home on 5055 Fort Clark Drive, a small condo in South Austin. I viewed the place where I buried my cat and thought of him. What a great pet Holiness was. I hoped that God would raise him from the dead this morning and he'd walk up to my car, but no.

It's cool sometimes to visit old places and remember. I have good memories of that place.

Driving in my car is always fun, because I can listen to music loud and enclosed in a great sonic "studio" of sorts. I listened to U2's Unforgettable Fire album, which I hadn't heard in a long time. I love the lyrics and was amazed at how firmly they are embedded into my memory -- songs like "A Sort of Homecoming." I'll never forget their show-stealing performance of "Bad" at the Live Aid concert back in '85. Wow.

What does it take?

In Revelation 9 there are four angels unleashed to kill a third of mankind. The troops used in this battle looked different than first century soldiers:

"The horses and riders I saw in my vision looked like this: Their breastplates were fiery red, dark blue, and yellow as sulfur. The heads of the horses resembled the heads of lions, and out of their mouths came fire, smoke and sulfur. A third of mankind was killed by the three plagues of fire, smoke and sulfur that came out of their mouths. The power of the horses was in their mouths and in their tails; for their tails were like snakes, having heads with which they inlict injury.

"The rest of manking that were not killed by these plagues still did not repent of the work of their hands; they did not stop worshiping demons, and idols of gold, silver, bronze, stone and wood -- idols that cannot see or hear or walk. Nor did they repent of their murders, their magic arts, their sexual immorality or their thefts."

Man, what does it take to get a person's attention, their heart, and repent?

Maybe it's something to do with the regenerated and empowered by the Spirit character of a believer (a "new creation") that allows our hearts to be soft and break and repent. I can sure be stubborn, but I hope I never get calloused to the point where I cannot repent easily. I for sure want to remain teachable and moldable in the Master's hands.

Silence

"When He opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour."

This is an interesting part about John's Revelation. This was a vision he had while stranded/deported/punished/banished on the Island of Patmos. Perhaps his spirit was in heaven. Maybe it was all just a dream/vision in his head. Anyway, he had a concept or awareness of time (30 minutes) even while he was in eternity and outside of time. Fascinating...

I love the majestic idea of silence all throughout heaven. This was a grandeous moment. All of heaven was silent. And 30 minutes is a long, long time to be silent. Besides sleeping or listening to a very talkative person, I don't think I've ever kept silent for that long. (maybe a university class/lecture...)

An angel held a censer with lots of incense, which included prayers of all the saints. I imagine these were prayers of God's people, alive at the time of the vision, and perhaps saints that were already in heaven, and perhaps saints from 2006 praying today. They might have been intercessory prayers about certain specific events, they might have been prayers of thanksgiving, they might have been worshipful, praise-filled compliments about God. Either way, the angel took this censer and hurled it towards earth. (Maybe those are the prayers that didn't get answered the way we thought they would...maybe this is why!?). Instead of that promotion or an end to the pain, we got "peals of thunder, rumblings, flashes of lightning and an earthquake." Wow.

Reading on in Revelation chapter 8, we read that all sorts of calamity came upon the earth at this moment -- a third of the sea turning to blood. A third of the water turned bitter. Trees and grass were burned up. And this was only the beginning. An eagle in the sky called out in a loud voice:

"Woe! Woe! Woe to the inhabitants of the earth, because of the trumpet blasts about to be sounded by the other three angels."

This vision is not about a pretty, nice, calm, friendly time on earth. This is calamitous and terrible. God is pouring out His wrath. No wonder heaven was silent for half an hour. I want to be in heaven by God when this is happening to earth, but I can't imagine I'll be happy, just grateful and full of awe.

Sunday Sunday Sunday

illustration by eric timms

This is the back page of the new issue of Heaven's Metal Fanzine.

Confession is Cool

I am a late, late man. What I mean is that I'm finally getting around to reading the book that everyone's been raving about since 2003 -- Don Miller's Blue Like Jazz.

What he does is he confesses all of his strange habits, selfish thoughts, and deep human fears. He confesses his sin. He honestly writes about how selfish and narrow-minded his thoughts tend towards. In doing this, though, he reveals the same narrow-minded selfish thoughts that are common to us all -- or at least close enough to home that it makes us laugh. And it makes the guy cool. Everyone I know (except one) that's read his book is fanatically devoted to the guy and loves what he does. I, too, will have to read everything he writes. I missed his talk at GMA this week. I'm kicking myself.

It's funny (and pathetic) that I found myself being jealous of one of my friends, who is a good friend with Don Miller. I found myself being jealous of his friendship with this seemingly fun-loving must-be-a-great-guy-to-hang-out-with and current buzz author. 'Why can't I be Don Miller's friend?'

What a shallow, self-centered stupid little ego-centric nimwit am I. Wow. The thing that this awareness drives me to, though, is appreciating each and every friend that I have. It makes me not take for granted the treasures in people that I know. It's funny how the world opens up and becomes a giant treasure box when I can destroy the myth that the world revolves around me. It's weird that someone could actually somehow keep this childish notion alive from infancy. One of the major paths to adulthood is realizing that and looking beyond one's self, so how does an adult even have these petty, immature thoughts? I don't know, but it's pretty stupid and common, at least for me.

Viva Nashville

Finally made it to Nashville.
It's always kinda weird to compare anything we go through here with a real place called Hell, but nothwithstanding
it was a GRIEF of a Day with American Airlines

I arrived at the Austin Airport
30 minutes before my departure time,
which is too late to board (if you have checked luggage),
so I was bumped from my 6am flight and took a 7am to Dallas. Once there, the connecting flight was full, and I was on standby, so I missed that one;
and then the next one;
and then the next one;
and another one.
Finally through the help of a new friend (soundman Jeffrey Gallup), we got on a flight at 4:45pm, and arrived around 7 something.

Whoo-hoo!
Praise the Lord, the ordeal is over!
I'm so glad to be past that.

I was able to finish a book, The House, by Frank Perreti and Ted Dekker; and then was able to read about half the book, Blue Like Jazz, which is great.

Kemper Crabb

My friend Mitch Roberts, who was the guitar player for my old band, Lust Control, got married to his sweetheart, Sarah, tonight.

Playing special music was none other than Kemper Crabb. This guy is a phenomenal talent and a wonderful person. His music is totally world class and excellent. He sang "Thigpen's Wedding" during the first part of the ceremony and his voice carried over the outdoor night sky with power. It really felt magical to have an incredible voice singing at this event. Such a beautiful song. After the vows he played a new one I'd never heard, which was breathtaking in its beauty and words.

Wow. What a beautiful wedding.
God bless you, Mitch and Sarah!
(they rode off after the reception in a horse and buggy.
So nice.

Another beautiful thing that happened at the wedding was an event that a close friend and another former LC player. He went outside by a small chapel building and was looking at an old bell that was rung at the end of the ceremony. He said he was wondering if he'd ever get married. He wondered if it would ever happen for him. He kind of thought it wouldn't happen. He told God that he was okay with that. He could accept that. Then he said he turned (and he wanted me to look up just like he did) and up in the sky was a perfect upturned smile in a crescent moon!

I kid you not! It was a sharp, pointed smile-looking upward crescent moon in the Western sky. Wow! Talk about what could possibly be construed a sign (that God was happy with his contentment and what he'd just told God).
Wow. How funny and beautiful.

Well, it's 1am and my plane to Nashville is scheduled to depart Austin at 6am. I don't have much time to sleep. It's almost tempting not to sleep at all. But Lord willing I will be in Nashville in less than a day. I will try to blog each day that I'm there, but it'll be dependent upon the wireless internet connection I have or don't have.
:?)

God bless ya'll!