Doug Van Pelt

Photos

This (in reverse) is where I turned to try to avoid the collision or at least avoid the worst danger..





After colliding with the Suburban, I took this cone out in a slide...





Then I went flying down here (probably airborne)...





'I'm rolling now...'





Glass was shattering as it rolled over...




Then it stopped rolling...

A Picture's Worth...

...a thousand words? Here's a photo of the car as is (imposed over the field where it came to rest after rolling).

The magazine deadline is now past. I've turned in all the files (except for that one Yamaha Guitars ad on page 12) to the printer, along with "visuals" or printed proofs of what each page is supposed to look like. I feel so relieved.

Have a great weekend.

Psalm 145:
"Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise;
His greatness no one can fathom."

This is good stuff.

Fear

God knows our thoughts. Sometimes are thoughts are not good. Some of those thoughts we'd rather hide... But it's no use. We can't play games with God.

Psalm 139 is a reference where "fearfully and wonderfully made" pops into my head, almost overshadowing the other 23 verses in that one. The jist of the psalm is that God is everywhere. Heaven, Hell, seas, darkness, the womb, asleep, awake...you can't get away from His presence.

But we certainly can offend Him, grieve Him, lie to Him, deceive Him, and tell Him to go away. He won't usually force Himself on to us in those situations, but simply let us have our isolated delusion. Turning to Him is so easy, yet seems so hard and difficult when we most need to.

It's like God has a book (and maybe He does) where He's got every detail of our lives written down (yes, even the future). He knows us better than we know ourselves.

God, help me to trust You today. I offer up all the things I'm working on. They are Your things. There is threat of storms and dangerous weather. You have changed the weather before. I ask that you would keep the storms from halting my work, but even if the storms come and force me to stop I know that You will be with me -- and that is more important than the work. Please bless my family and draw them closer to You today. Please make me the man, husband, father, and Your child that You want me to be. In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

I hope to finish the magazine today. It might be "tonight" before I'm done or even early "tomorrow," but Lord willing this issue will get finished. I hope to get a photo of my smashed and totalled car to post here soon. I hope I can get another car that's as good or better. I loved the way that car drove and got 43 miles a gallon. I tell ya, deisel engines can rock on the mileage!
:?)

Unity -- At What Cost?

Psalm 133 states:

"How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!
It is like precious oil poured on the head,
running down on the beard,
running down on Aaron's beard,
downupon the collar of his robes.
It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion.
For there the Lord bestows His blessing,
even life forevermore."

Unifying is such a wonderful thing. There are some common qualifications for unity (being brothers), but before one asks "at what cost?" one should know exactly what has been paid and spent. God went to a great deal of trouble to tear down the dividing wall between He and man, Jew and Greek, man and woman, slave and free. He spent His only Son. The cost was great -- far greater than we could afford. It is so great, that it would be a crying shame for us not to unify, for us to put unnecessary conditions on unity. If we are brothers, there is no good reason not to forgive, forget, repay, help, heal, restore (whatever it takes) to be unified with our brothers. Even so-called "serious" conflict, like not agreeing on prophecy or modern-day miracles and supernatural gifts of the Spirit...even those are not a good enough "excuse" to remain divided.

There's another funny reference that was probably a result of what the author was looking at when he wrote it -- "...precious oil running down on Aaron's beard." I bet that David was looking at this ceremonial and sloppy ritual as he wrote this.

God is good, and if we can tap into the things that He declares are good, then we will be most joyous and fulfilled. Unity of the brotherhood is one of those things.

Now, if I could just finish this issue of HM and send it to the printer!

"This ISN'T Happening!!!"

That's kinda how I felt as my car was skidding into a collision as well as when I was flipping. I wanted to deny that it was all happening. Once it happened, all I could do was be thankful that I was okay. But these feelings of regret -- and wishing it hadn't happened -- are ever present. It's harder to let it go and move on at first, I guess. Sometimes these things take time to process.

Psalm 125 says:

"Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion,
which cannot be shaken but endures forever.
As the mountains surround Jerusalem,
so the Lord surrounds his people both now and forevermore."

I believe that. I trust that this is true. And at times like this I am clinging to Him and the Truth that He is trustworthy and safe. Being in a car accident or any mishap can be a reminder that we are not in complete control. We have a great degree and measure of control, responsibility, and potential. I think God's plan of slightly "hands off" our lives is brilliant (and perfect), as he allows His creation to exercise their free will and do amazing things (and some bad things). Without that ability, just like children, we wouldn't grow.

As long as I hold on to this, 'Man! I wish that hadn't happened,' I'm probably not going to grow (at least like I should), but accepting the reality that my car is smashed, my driving record is blemished, my emotions are shaken, and all that stuff. It happened. It's a shock, but we will carry on.

And with the poverty and the emergency situation in Africa*, I've got nothing to complain about!

(* Every day another 6,300 people die in Africa of AIDS - and everyday another 8,500 Africans contract the disease. This is an astounding figure that's hard to believe, but lives are being lost.)

I am very blessed.

I'm So Thankful to be Alive

About 13 hours ago I was involved in a car wreck. I was driving along Hwy 79 and all of a sudden there was a Suburban in front of me slowing down to a stop. I immediately knew there wouldn't be time to stop to avoid a collision. At the very last second I tried pulling into the side street, as did the car in front. I hit the passenger side of their vehicle and then sort of slid sideways off the embankment. 'I'm rolling now,' I thought as I held onto the steering wheel. 'I've just thrashed this car.' I'm thinking, sensing immediate regret. Glass was shattering all around and I wondered if I'd have to unbuckle my seatbelt while upside-down, and then the car settled back onto its wheels.

When I stopped, I started looking around for my cell phone to call my wife, as both of us were on our way to eat out. I tried opening my door and it only allowed me a few inches without force. People were there pretty quick, asking me if I was okay. I was picking up pieces of a torn Bible and keys and such. I told them I was okay and was looking for my cell phone, when one of them said, "Is this yours?" It had flown from its cradle on my AC vent to outside the vehicle. They opened the door and I got out.

The people in the Suburban I collided with were all fine, and everyone seemed worried about me, because it was some horrific crash, and they all saw this Volkswagon Beetle fly into the air and flip over. People saw blood on my face and leg, which must've been cut from flying glass. I'm glad none got in my eye. I searched for my sunglasses in vain, which must've flown out somewhere. The family in the Suburban were turning into the street that led to Hutto's Baptist Church. They had some kids in the car that were shaken up by the ordeal. We all mentioned that we were so glad and grateful that no one was hurt. The witnesses were amazed that I wasn't hurt, as were the police and rescue people that saw my car. The windshield was blown out, the roof was crumpled a bit (but held up well) and the driver's side window was gone. I was checked out and turned down a ride in the ambulance. We really avoided a disaster somehow. God's angels must've been watching over us. The kids went into the church to see a play that they were going to, and the husband told his wife that he heard that they were waiting for them before they started the play. I bet they were praying for us, because it happened right before 6:30 and a lot of them probably saw the wreck.

There were a couple of peculiar things about this accident. First of all, my family was going to meet up at the local Mexican restaurant, which I arrived at first and found out that they'd changed their hours and were closed for Sunday evening. When going over our options, I had a funny feeling about driving into Round Rock to get to another restaurant. One of the last times I made a spontaneous trip over to the La Frontera shopping center, where the proposed Mexican restaurant was, I got in an accident where I was hit in the rear as I was on my way to Kinko's to pick up copies of Heaven's Metal fanzine. For some reason I thought of that and was kind of leary of going over there on a whim. I didn't want to be ruled by such a fatalistic thought, so I agreed. It felt fatalistic as soon as it happened, because it was like, 'I knew something like this was going to happen.'

The second unusual thing was that I had received a call from my friend, Steve Rowe, who asked me to keep praying for him, as he was still struggling with some health issues that go back to when cancer almost took his life some 7 or 8 years ago. I felt like praying the prayer about "having restored the years the locust had taken away," but I wanted to quote it from Scripture and my memory of the Scripture was a little fuzzy. So I brought one of my old favorite Bibles with me (that's in a case, but inside is separated in a few places on the spine). I found the verse by looking in the concordance. It was Joel 2:25:

"I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten --
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm..."

I was praying this out loud for my friend,
that God would do this for him,
when 'UH-OH! Car ahead. Collision is imminent!'

The timing of that's just kind of odd...

I'm a little bruised above my left hip (probably from glass, the side air bag, or the seat belt -- or all three), but pretty much walked away with just a couple scratches. I have to slow down a little bit. I was planning another all-nighter at the office to finish this next issue of HM; but I took it a little easy last night, as I had already finished laying out most every article already. I was able to knock out the article CCM wanted me to write for its next cover story on hard music, so I should be okay to have everything finished soon.

I will have the hassle of getting a new car, which is a real drag. I wish I could go back in time and fix this, but I can't. Regret doesn't really help any, but gratitude does. Now I'm even more familiar with the word that actor Stephen Baldwin brought up in his interview for the next issue's "Intermission" story -- "kairos," which is a description of an act in time that changes everything. I can relate to that now.

Praise God that the people in the Suburban and I are okay.

I Can Be Your Friend

Psalm 119 is practically right in the middle of the Bible. It has 176 verses, covering lots of ground on how good God is and how are efforts to follow Him are blessed.

I'm struck by several verses.

"I am a friend to all who fear You,
to all who follow Your precepts..."

I think of how Christians sometimes treat each other strangely. Have you ever had a fellow believer eye you with suspicion? It's uncomfortable to face that, and the easy way out is to ignore that person and move on. But I want to be able to quote that verse and mean it. Sharing the common denominator of knowing and following the Great Forgiver should bond us at least on a friendly level.

"Streams of tears flow from my eyes,
for Your law is not obeyed."

I look at this example as a great way to deal with the disappointment of seeing others sin, make bad choices, and/or wreck their lives. Weeping is the right response, for it leads to intercession. This is a long way from the other option, which is to speak angry words of correction and try to make the offending person feel ashamed. One way is loving, and the other seems misguided.

"How can a young man keep his way pure?
By living according to Your Word.
I seek You with all my heart;
do not let me stray from Your commands.
I have hidden Your Word in my heart
that I might not sin against You...

I delight in Your decrees;
I will not neglect Your Word..."

We are dependent upon God for even the strength to stay on His path. However, love can compel us and motivate us to follow Him with vigor. Love and joy are strengths.

"My soul is weary with sorrow;
strengthen me according to Your Word."

"God is close to the brokenhearted;
and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (I love that passage from Psalm 34)

"I run in the path of Your commands,
for You have set my heart free."

This is what God can do -- set our hearts free. He can lift our burdens from us and give us joy.

I'm sitting here, ready to begin my day. It should be my last day of deadline, but I have yet to gather and edit the "bullets" for the "Hard News" section, layout the "Album Reviews" (which will include writing a few); fixing the mistakes found by proofreaders, and laying out some other articles. I'm thinking that I need at least two more days to finish this issue. However, I agreed to write the cover story on hard music for the July issue of CCM, which is due next Wednesday, so I need to pause my work on HM after tonight (my original deadline) and pick it up again after I finish that article (which maybe I can knock out over the weekend). This is slightly disheartening (mainly because of all the late hours spent recently not having an end close), but should be okay. It will still get printed and mailed out well before the end of June (it's the July/August issue), so that shouldn't be a problem. I trust that God is with me even in the hard times.

No Fear

The person that fears God (shows Him reverence, worships Him, obeys Him), can live a "no fear" kind of life. They can live with confidence that, no matter what happens to them or around them, that the God of the universe will be with them through it.

Tha frontman can step out and take that risk; that stage diver can launch himself into the air; that skater can attempt that massive aerial or deep drop-in; that baller can throw his helmet into the pile; that skydiver or bungee jumper can fling his body into the air. There's no reason to fear.

Psalm 112 says:

"Praise the Lord.
Blessed is the man who fears the Lord,
who finds great delight in His commands...

"He will have no fear of bad news;
his heardt is steadfast,
trusting in the Lord.
His heart is secure,
he will have no fear..."

So, what are you waiting for? Go for it!

Forgive you...for THAT!?!?

Psalm 103 has a great verse in it:

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is His love for those who fear Him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has He removed our transgressions from us."

East goes in one direction and west the other, so the distance between them is infinity. God has not only forgiven our sins, He has chosen to forget them. He won't bring them up again. As cynical as we are and as prone we are to bring up past offenses, God is not that way.

This was such a revelation to me, that when I embraced its truth and tried to assimilate it into my life, I decided to do something I don't normally do: I decided I was going to memorize the references of a few verses that flat-out state that God forgives and forgets. So I did.

Isaiah 38:17 ("...put all my sins behind Your back...")
Isaiah 43:25 ("...remembers your sin no more...")
Micah 7:19 ("...hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea...")
Psalm 103:12 ("...as far as the East is from the West...")

Come to find out my mind has gotten rusty (I had to look up the Isaiah verse, and I had the chapter in Micah wrong).

I think this truth is amazing and helps free us from the bondage, memory, and guilt of sin. Sometimes I remember a couple sins from my youth to give myself my own little whipping, just to humble myself and remember that I deserve much worse. It's nice to know that God doesn't hold that against me. It's amazing. Grace is sometimes just mindblowing. This is one reason why the psalmist can say things like,

"Praise the Lord, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise His Holy Name."

When you start to fathom the incredible riches of His mercy and grace, your whole being starts to resonate with praise and thanksgiving. We were made for this stuff.

It's no wonder that this Psalm also contains a reference to God restoring us:

"...so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's."

It's like taking a bath in cool water to be forgiven. It's cool how baptism is the symbol God chose to use for this.

With a God like this, choosing obedience is the sweet option.

Is it soda or ipop?

If you don't have an iPod, that's okay. If you own no portable mp3 player at the moment, that is fine. You probably will someday. I tell ya, if you don't currently own one, you might start saving up or thinking about getting one. What's the appeal? That iPods looks so stinking cool? Well, there's no denying that their sleek little curvy design is hot. But it's not the status symbol of owning one, it's the possibility of carrying your entire CD collection (or all that you'd want to listen to) on your person in the size (and about the weight of) a deck of playing cards. "Ripping" an entire CD (converting the audio files on the disc into compressed mp3 files) takes maybe 2 minutes or so. Therefore the task of ripping your entire CD collection is really not that much of a chore.

If you're going to get one, here's my advice:
Don't go the economic route and get an iPod mini (for $200). Although they are super slim and light, they only hold 4 gigs or 5 gigs of songs. I advise to ALWAYS rip at the highest bit rate setting (I think it's 128 kb per second), and the mini's capable of only holding a small portion of your large collection of CDs. 20 or 30 gigs of space will hold so many songs from your collection, that it'll make you puke. The extra space really makes a difference. Go ahead and spend the extra $100 and get the 20 or 30 gig iPod. Or, like me, go with the other brand. I have a Creative Nomad that holds 30 gigs. It's heavier and slight bigger than most mp3 players today. It goes for about $200. Dell has a smaller and lighter 20 gig machine that looks pretty slick and has a $200 price tag. Most all brands come with a fairly intuitive software package that makes ripping songs and loading them on the player pretty simple. One thing about the iPod that can be a pain is it wants to use the superfast firewire connection, which some older computers may not have -- or even the 2.0 USB port.

Enough about mp3 players. Let's talk about music! In one day I rec'd the new Weezer, the new Copeland (both really good), and some CDs I ordered from the BMG Music Club -- Coldplay live, Living Colour live, and The Essential Journey. Yes, I really did. And I played it on my way to work this morning. If I was a smoker, I would've held my lighter up all the way to work, as this power ballad band did their magic. The new Corrosion of Conformity is very intriguing in a spiritual lyric sense.

Psalm 101 has some interesting things to say. It starts off with praise:

"I will sing of your love and justice;
to You, O Lord, I will sing praise."

Then it goes into some personal promises:

"I will be careful to lead a blameless life...
...I will walk in my house with blameless heart.
I will set before my eyes no vile thing...."

This is open to interpretation. The standard of "vileness" will vary and change from person to person. For someone addicted to wine, that would be vile. Many people today would probably easily define pornography as a vile thing. For others, a comedy CD with gratuitous profanity would be vile. To someone who worked with a person that was cruel to animals, seeing a horse's bridle might be a reminder of vile things. For King David, it might've been an idol or a symbol of a false god. To a newborn Christian, it might be that crack pipe or marijuana leaf poster that's vile. Whatever it is, the disciple of Christ that exercises the simple discipline of "not giving that thing or habit a place" in their lives is what helps that person pursue a life of right-living.

Spiritual disciplines are important and one of the things they accomplish is affirming in a practical way that we are delivered from sin and no longer under its power. Fasting shows the disciple that he can tell his stomach that his head is in charge of the body, and it will decide when and what to eat. Sometimes it's drastic, but the result of knowing that you're not powerless to the circumstances around you (or even the grumblings of your stomach) is freeing and empowering.

Is He Talking About Me?

In Psalm 91 we are told that

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty."

Then there are descriptions of many calamities and dangers that God will save us from (the fowler's snare, deadly disease, the "terror of night," weapons, the plague, lions, cobras, and falling against stones). He talks about angels, which are under the Lord's command.

"'Because he loves Me,' says the Lord,
'I will rescue him;
I will protect him,
for he acknowledges My Name.
He will call upon Me,
and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him
and show him My salvation.'"

God is saying this of a man. Could God say it of you or I? I think very much so. I can imagine, though, someone having doubts. It's almost as if they think, 'God doesn't care for me that much. Sure, He loves me as part of the myriad of mankind, but I myself am not anything special to Him.' That may sound silly, but that is the fruit and attitude of doubt. We begin to think that God doesn't care. We look at any prayer that didn't result in the answer we wanted as "proof" that God doesn't care about us.

One of the great joys of this life (and I believe that we were saved for far more than just being rescued from damnation) is knowing God and enjoying Him. With that usually comes a sense that God enjoys us. If we talk to God often enough, and take the time to listen as well, I believe we'll get the idea that He does care about us -- individually, you for who you really are. There is nothing like the confidence and "self esteem" that comes from that kind of assurance.

One of the cool fruits of that is an outgrowth and outward focus that propels us to treat each and every person out there (especially the underdog, downtrodden, and downcast) with the kind of dignity and special care and attention that their value would demand. When we feel loved by our Creator, it's easier to love others (and only right to do so).

Slumber Party at the Office

For the past two nights my wife has been away at the Women's Retreat for our church. So I've had our daughters with me. Besides the t-ball games and school field trip obligations, we've had fun together. They always like to come to the office. On Friday night we brought over some sleeping bags and both of our cats for a fun time. They watched National Treasure while I worked on the magazine deadline. The older daughter went to an overnight birthday party yesterday, so last night the younger one and I stayed here. When not eating ice cream or playing with the video camera making her own movies (that's gotta be a fun toy for kids) she loves spending time with crafts and drawing. I was able to transcribe the rest of my interview with The Agony Scene drummer, Brent Masters. I've worked a little on my Dizmas story before we get ready to go to the second service today. I love churches with a later service time. How many times have I stayed up real late on a Saturday night? Hundreds of times. Being able to sleep in a little extra is always a welcome thing in my book.

In Psalm 84, we see perhaps some honest and real depictions of temple/sanctuary life.

"How lovely is your dwelling place,
O Lord Almighty!"

When we sing or say that out loud today, we are mostly talking about the mystical body of Christ and the presence of the Holy Spirit amongst His people. But when it was written, it was no doubt just a straight-up description of what the temple of Solomon looked like.

"Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young
a place near your altar."

This is kinda funny. There was some bird's nests in the temple of the Lord! I love the practical sense that is conveyed here. And the fact that no hyper religious person got indignant and destroyed those nests, "This is no place for a bird's nest," I can hear a pharisee grumble, as they use a broom or stick to cast a nest full of eggs into the air. If that ever happened, I hope the eggs landed on his head, splattering yoke all over his imposing nose and face!
:?)

It's easy to imagine self-righteous jerks in religious settings. That is pretty sad, because the reality is that there are many loving and adoring people serving God. Why isn't our first instinct to think sentimentally towards church people, culling from our experience of rubbing shoulders with gentle and loving souls? Maybe we remember negative things too easy, or we have a propensity to judge with harshness (forming our own little mean religious spirit club). The people in one of the most beautiful temples of all time apparently allowed bird's nests to stay in God's house. That speaks of being laid-back and easy-going. Hardly the popular picture we have today, eh? Maybe we need to shatter our images of religious people. Maybe we can stop repeating the slogan, "Reject Religion, Embrace Jesus" (or whatever they read), as it reinforces the notion that religion is bad. I think this started as an ex-hippie Jesus freak idea that older or more traditional people are "dead in their traditions." While it is true that vibrant life is what God brings us, it is narrow-minded to think that all old people or worshipers in more mainline denominations are not in love with Christ. It's really our own little Jesus freak form of self righteousness.

I'm glad the church cannot be accurately stereotyped as stupid, narrow, mean, and judgmental. I wish we could all shatter those stereotypes, but I am sure that I have failed to do this. It takes an effort from each of us, one day at a time. This Psalm has another verse that makes up a beautiful modern day worship song:

"Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere..."

I often relate to just closing my eyes, lifting my hands, and worshiping God in song as being "in His courts," but I'd love to be able to picture what being in His temple was actually like. I believe that much of what happens in the church today is invisible. That we are seated with Christ in heavenly places. That we are in God's presence, forming an invisible and universal temple (the body of Christ). This is real, but unseen. When we meet together, we are spending time in God's courts. But one day this will be seen as well as imagined or felt.

Perspective

Asaph, the author of Psalm 73, was pretty tee-ed off. He could almost not compose himself, for the "wicked were prospering." He couldn't handle that (almost). But when he went into the temple -- into the sanctuary -- his perspective changed.

"When I tried to understand all this,
it was oppressive to me
till I entered the sanctuary of God;
then I understood..."

Yes, his attitude changes because he discovers that the wicked will not go unpunished, but it is another example of how quickly getting a glimpse of God can correct our attitudes.

"My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever...

"But as for me,
it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
I will tell of all Your deeds."

This reminds me of a great old hymn (one that Asaph did not write),
which states:

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus;
look full into His wonderful face.
Then the things of this life will grow strangely dim
in the light of His glorious grace..."

It's all about perspective.

If I could change the perspective of some robots and their programmers, I would distort their aluminum frames into a pretzel. Yes, I am mad. Seems these spammers are starting to hit (and fill up) these comment spaces in current and recent blog entries. This is a drag. For the longest time, it was a pain to keep up with; but it was limited to older entries, and I would routinely close the comment fields of older entries to prevent these robots from gaining access. Now they're going after the current ones. This is totally uncool. I think they hope to get more traffic to their site, which will in turn improve their "google score" and show up higher in searches for various stuff. It's either illegal ... or should be. I can suddenly relate to King David in wanting to see his "enemies" vanquished!
:?)

Espresso Milkshakes

Sometimes...if you drink an espresso milkshake at night...you can stay up for hours. That kinda comes in handy when you need to get some deadline work done.

:?)

A woman from my church was killed this past weekend, and they had a memorial service for her today. Another member of our church (a guy named Nick who used to come to the marriage and parenting classes we held at our home) had his mother pass away last night. If you think about it, say a little prayer for the Smith family and Nick's family.

Talk to ya later...

PS I posted a big online exclusive yesterday -- the SXSW 2005 Roundup, with movie and concert reviews.

PSS In case you're wondering, that's the members of Disciple interviewing Andrew Schwab of Project 86. (notice everyone's nervous hands...)

How Interviews Happen

This trusty little micro-cassette tape recorder has heard a lot of interesting things said into its tiny little condeser microphone. I'm glad almost every bit of it has been documented in the pages of HM. There have been very few "off the record" or "can you turn that off for a second" comments. There's been a few interviews not used up to this time (which is one reason why bringing back Heaven's Metal Fanzine on the side has been so much fun -- getting to print interviews with Uli Roth, Metal Church, Savatage, and Gwar).

I wonder what interviewing King David during his life would have been like. I imagine there would have been talk of his enemies and the many battles that God brought them through and gave them victory in. In Psalm 66 he directs our praises to God. From our modern perspective, it reads very hymn-like:

"Shout with joy to God, all the earth!
Sing the glory of His Name;
make His praise glorious!"

He also reflects back on the time that God brought His people through -- the time of slavery in Egypt.

"You brought us into prison
and laid burdens on our backs.
You let men ride over our heads;
we went through fire and water,
but You brought us to a place of abundance."

I cannot imagine the pain of living under their conditions of slavery in Egypt. I can't imagine the suffering of black slaves in America. It's hard to fathom the arrogance and cruelty of capturing, chaining, and bringing over boatloads of slaves from Africa. To think that our government actually treated the African American to be only 3/5 of a person. I'm so glad they were freed and so grateful for heroic stories of people that risked their lives in the underground railroad. I'd like to think that I would've helped out if I was alive in that era. The classic historical perspective is that it makes a person and a nation strong when it goes through something like that, but that is too trite to put into words. The very real human suffering that went on in this country was horrible. To live on this side of that history is a relief, and to look back and take ownership of the sins of our nation (and repent on their behalf) is actually not as strange or unnecessary as it sounds. The fact that many of our beautiful brothers and sisters of color have embraced the same God that many of the white race did is amazing. In spite of how terrible we sometimes treat each other, our Father in Heaven still loves us. It must bring Him great joy to see us united in Him.

When God is all you got...

"My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will never be shaken...

"One thing God has spoken,
two things have I heard:
that You, O God, are strong,
and that You, O Lord, are loving..."

This is a song (Psalm 62), and thus the repeating chorus. But when something is repeated in Scripture, it's worth taking a close look at.

God alone is our rock. When our emotions are at a low; when our life seems hopeless and, indeed, our hope is shattered, God is constant. He is there -- even if we don't feel the goosebumps of a prior encounter with His presence. This is tough to believe. When all we want is a good cry and His arms around us, sometimes we have to press on and believe.

God is our salvation. When we are in our "dark hour," and we long for the light of salvation, sometimes it's hard to hold out hope or hard to even look up to see if that is light cracking in. Yet God has saved us, is saving us, and will save us.

God is our fortress, we will never be shaken. Sometimes this "shaking" sure feels like shaking. And tossed about and attacked we are. Yet holding firm to God, even if we feel like we are shaking and worthless and fearful, this will keep us from being shaken (and destroyed) by outside forces. A fortress is a wall of protection. When we don't feel like we have the energy to fight, He will guard us. Even when we feel like we are losing and all is lost... even when we don't feel His presence... even when we doubt He's there... even when we are depressed and brokenhearted... God is our fortress. He is our protection. Sometimes a fortress is a place to sleep safe from enemies. Sometimes it is a medical room where we can get healed. Sometimes it's a place to plan our counter-attack. Sometimes it's a place to replenish our weapons. Sometimes it's just a place to get refreshed, eat, drink, and splash water on our face. A fortress is many things of provision. God is our fortress.

Children 18:3

I had a great and fun weekend in Minneapolis at the Club 3 Degrees Band Tournament. Joining me in the fun were Josh from Provident, Josh from T&N, Jim and Brandon from T&N, Tony Shore, Jeff from Relevant, Guy from Vision Vah Gogh, Jamie from Central South, Shane from Pure Tracking, and Dave from Nashville. Children 18:3, who were the runner-ups the last two years in a row, finally won the competition far and away with their "ready for prime time" performance. They have the songs, the sound, the look, and the rock and roll attitude which got the crowd very into it. I'd love to see Jack White produce this band. They are siblings -- two brothers and one sister. It'll be exciting to see audiences from around the country get into this band.

Psalm 56 gives us some great encouragement and direction on what to do with our fears.

"When I am afraid,
I will trust in You.
In God, whose Word I praise,
in God I trust;
I will not be afraid.
What can mortal man do to me?"

King David, when he composed this, had actually physical threats and warring nations to deal with. He wasn't be poetic about spiritual attacks, but real physical threats that plotted and conspired against him.

It's interesting also that this psalm was written to be sung "to the tune of 'A Dove on Distant Oaks.'" This was a song of the time, and possibly "secular" and a national folk song.

Well, there is 12 days, 1 hour, and 28 minutes left of deadline. Here's hoping and trusting that it all comes through on time...

Today is 5-5-5

Last night I saw a really good concert. The Rock Bottom Choir, who was interviewed in the latest issue of HM (see the article on "The Austin Music Scene"), opened for The Arcangels, who were once again reuniting as a live band. The world famous blues club was packed and people were treated to a special and passionate performance. Matt McCormack, the lead vocalist for The Rock Bottom Choir, knew his job was to warm up the crowd, so he mentioned that the Arcangels were coming up several times (he mentioned them more than the name of his own band). It was solid music with lots of feeling, spiritual lyrics, and gritty playing. One great song near the end of their set was "Rose," which had the great line in the chorus:

"Be my rose, and I will bring you gardens."

Rock boiled down to its roots sounds really good. The Arcangels kept spreading the quality. It's always so good to see and hear good musicians. Charlie Sexton, Tommy Shannon, Chris Layton, Doyle Bramhall II... These guys understand the pocket and groove ... and make it look easy.

Psalm 42 starts off with a great line that's used in a beautiful worship song (one of the older worship songs that still comes to my lips/mind easily):

"As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God."

That's such a great picture. There's a great line of poetry one line after that:

"My tears have been my food day and night..."

Wow. What a way to describe where his head and heart have been (downfallen). As much as David was down here, he focused on his wonderful God, Who is worthy of praise. Some of my best worship, I am sure, comes when I feel the worst. When I can muster the words to praise God amidst pain or heartache, I know that it's received like gold. I also know that, just like sin or bad habits, good habits can be formed. When I've responded to pain over and over again with praise, it can become ingrained in me and turn into a "natural" reaction. This is a good thing. Even though many have criticized ritual and habits as perhaps "dead" or passion-less, that is an overly-simplistic (and wrong) way to look at it.

That brings to mind a decent maxim:

If you do it to feel it, then eventually you are doing it for the wrong reasons. If you just do it, many times you'll feel it as a by-product.

I like that. If God created us, then that includes our mouths, vocal cords and mind. If that's the case, then our voices were made to praise God, were they not? Then when we praise God with our tongues, we are fulfilling its divine purpose. If you ever longed to be fulfilled, worship God. That is one thing we can do to fulfill our destiny that doesn't require great skills, hours of training, or superior talent. Sometimes the greatest worship is done when there are NO feelings. If praise and worship were only "mountaintop experiences," then they'd be few and far between, and then it'd turn into "feel-good" and "flighty" emotions that can't (and shouldn't be) trusted.

I will worship God -- even when I'm angry -- even when I'm down -- and especially when I'm happy.

Type A Personality

Sometimes, when I read passages like Psalm 37, where someone is asking God to correct those doing wrong or admonishes the reader not to fret because of evil men or not to be envious of those who do wrong. It makes me laugh just a bit to consider someone who gets bent out of shape over the wrong behavior of others. You know the type (you may be one!): when someone else does something wrong in traffic, they take it upon themselves to somehow correct, punish, or insult the offending driver. If they're being tailgated, they'll slow down in an over-dramatic way, or hit their brakes over and over again. It's one thing to slow down a little in hopes that the tailgater will pass; but it's another thing to try and "punish" them is indicative of someone who is obssessing with how others think or behave. I'm pretty sure God wants us to be less Type A. The Pharisees were classic Type A people. They couldn't rest if someone was "getting away with something" or breaking their little "fence laws" (laws or "fences" erected surrounding a law, so no one would even get close to breaking that law). The older brother in the Prodigal Son story was Type A. He had a twisted view of his relationship with his father (as though he had to earn his father's love). God wants something better for us. Father does know best.

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret -- it leads only to evil.
For evil men will be cut off,
but those who hopoe in the Lord
will inherit the land."

Fretting and worrying (about anything) is not the Lord's will for us. Trust is. Believing in God is not just about thinking that His Story is true -- it is clinging to, trusting in, and relying on Him. He is faithful.

"I was young and now I am old,
yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread.
They are always generous and lend freely;
their children will be blessed."

1lj 2mi 1s&w 30min

Sin is a funny thing.
Sometimes I run into people that take an approach I consider extreme -- "because we are depraved and sinful, every waking moment is spent sinning against God." It seems that this attitude would give someone no hope and even an excuse to revel in sin. I think a simple and balanced study of Scripture would show that to be a false belief, or heresy.

While we are sinners saved by grace, surely something must happen in this thing called salvation, shouldn't it? Some sort of "regeneration" or "new life" from this "new, second birth?" When Jesus said, "I've come that they might have life, and have it more abundantly, did He not refer to something? What about the fact that the Holy Spirit lives inside us -- the "Comforter" He left to us? Wouldn't the existence of God's Spirit give us some power to overcome sin? 1 Corinthians 10:13, which was my old band's unofficial motto verse:

"No temptation has seized you,
except what is common to man.
And God is faithful;
He will not let you be tempted
beyond what you can bear,
but will provide a way out
so that you may stand up under it."

We are also encouraged by the teachings of Jesus to live a certain way, elevating others and living love on a continual basis, pursuing justice and helping those around us. Certainly there is a call or purpose to our lives. And sin would not be that calling.

I've never met (at least in recent memory) anyone who acted like, "Well, I'm forgiven anyway, so I may as well sin." Perhaps we all think like that from time to time, but most of us would probably view that kind of attitude as a betrayal of sorts to the God that went to so great an extent to save us from sin and its consequences.

In Psalm 32, David talks about sin:

"Blessed is he
whose transgressions are forgiven,
whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the man
whose sin the Lord does not count
against him
and in whose spirit is no deceit."

If it's possible to have no deceit in my spirit (I believe that to be the case), then I want to be that man!

It's interesting to read a description of the consequences of sin:

"When I kept silent,
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
For day and night
Your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of Summer.
Then I acknowledged my sin to You
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, 'I will confess
my transgressions to the Lord'
and you forgave
the guilt of my sin."

There is a neat encouragement, too:

"Do not be like the horse or the mule,
which have no understanding
but must be controlled by bit and bridle
or they will not come to you."

I think the Lord wants people who come to Him willingly,
like sheep come to their shepherd. Not coerced, cajoled, manipulated, threatened, or forced. But out of love running to Him like a small child runs to its parents when they come home from work, etc.

Hand of the Father

Was listening to a band caught in between the two worlds of the musical climate in the mid-90's. They were excellent enough to produce music of lasting value, and they were doing it in a modern way that could've and should've received mainstream radio airplay. The production values and approach to sounds were creative enough to be heard well beyond the crumbling walls of metal and arena rock, but Guardian was caught in a successful vortex called "youth group acceptance," which was "working" on a level that no doubt made their label very happy and satisfied. Perhaps you could say this band was "used" and discarded. The material on Buzz and Bottle Rocket was, however, true rock and roll and of lasting value. It's too bad they were dismissed as "butt rock" by so many indie rock snobs. But that's the price you pay for snobbery -- you can't enjoy something that's not "cool" to enjoy. At least out in the open. A smart and honest person will like what they like and ignore their own critics. In today's wonderful world of choices, though, it's easy to find something to enjoy musically.

This song, "Hand of the Father," has a rich musical tapestry that's not unlike the thoughtful and soulful rock of Brother Cane. This one even had some strings (arranged by none other than John Mark Painter, of Fleming & John) that gave it a sweeping energy. The lyrics often caused an old staffer and I to ponder, "Is this a Civil War story?" The first verse is intriguing:

"For 24 years I've lived this life
In 24 hours I'll leave this life
Powder flash
as the earth gave way
Crimson blooms
on my coat of gray..."

The song is a beautiful look at someone leaving this life to enter another. Angels dance around him and tell him to "take the hand of the Father." Much comfort amidst a mysterious trip that very few have returned from to describe.

Psalm 27 make reference to this comforting Protecter.

"Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident.

"...at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the Lord."

I can picture this in a very practical sense. I can see David (and thanks to the movie King David, I can see the face of Richard Gere) shouting and smiling and laughing before the Lord. Worshipping Him with a reckless abandon that cares not a tinker's cuss what the indie rock snob thinks of his dance and his song. An abandoned man before His God.

I can imagine God the Father smiling just as big. This is the type of God we serve. Even a man like David in Old Testament times (when people were supposed to fear a scary paternal figure) could rejoice in His presence like a little boy on a carefree Spring day. And in the same breath seeking God's guidance and protection in a time of war.

"I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord."

Comforting words, but almost foreign or alien to us who live in a fastfood and high tech world. Who wants to wait?

Well, we can not wait; and manipulate things around us and (most likely) make a mess. We can worry and fret and wonder what's going to happen and (possibly) make ourselves sick. Or we can wait and trust in the Lord. Even if or when we get anxious and nervous, we can take that to the Lord. I'm sure He's kept watch of many a night where His servants/children came to Him over and over again -- not unlike a child asking the driver, "Are we there yet?"

I sure am glad God is patient.