This little chapter talks about being rude. This can be a number of things, like bad table manners, bad language, or having a habit of sarcastic quips. It might seem like to big deal to the one dishing this kind of behavior out, but being on the receiving end can be a drag.
It makes reference to how we can be in one mood in our house, but when the doorbell rings we put on a smile, etc. It kind of makes the suggestion that our spouse deserves this kind of "best behavior" consideration.
Here's some test questions:
-How does your spouse feel about the way you speak and act around them?
-How does your behavior affect your mate's self sense of worth and self-esteem?
-Would your husband or wife say you're a blessing, or that you're condescending and embarrassing?
There's a funny paragraph that says:
"If you're thinking that your spouse -- not you -- is the one who needs work in this area, you're likely suffering from a bad case of ignorance, with a secondary condition of selfishness. Remember, love is not rude but lifts you to a higher standard.
"Do you wish your spouse would quit doing the things that bother you? Then it's time to stop doing the things that bother them. Will you be thoughtful and loving enough to discover and avoid the behavior that causes life to be unpleasant for your mate? Will you dare to be delightful?"
I like that reminder. It's easy sometimes to think of someone you know when you hear something about a personality flaw. We sometimes tend to do that instead of gazing into our own lives and doing corrective measures. It's probably some stupid defense mechanism we develop to avoid being uncomfortable. I can imagine being in some sort of self-help group or a marriage building group or something and, in a discussion period about personality flaws, "sharing" about someone I know that does this or that. The astute leader might say something like, "You just don't get it, do you Doug? Why don't you just leave now? You're obviously wasting all our time by focusing on others around you rather than yourself. You selfish idiot! Leave ... NOW!!!" That's kind of what I'd be doing myself if I read this chapter and just think about others and how they fail in these areas. Give me a mirror.
Today's Dare:
Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.
Wow. Can we choose another dare today?
Ha ha. This one's going to be a challenge.