I have lost and backed away from more fights than I've won. Let's see. I remember my first day of riding the bus to school. I seem to recall that it was a kid younger than me, which would mean it was first grade, but it might've been kindergarten. (Like it really matters now) Anyway, this smaller kid that I under-estimated and I got into it and he bloodied my nose or something. My older sister had to walk me back to the house and I must've gotten a ride to school in my mom's safe and warm car. It might've been our '65 Mustang even. I didn't have any more troubles with that kid. Sometimes just standing up to someone and fighting them resolves the conflict issue -- even if you end up losing the fight. I'd say I lost that one.
I think it was in 6th grade where I won my only fight -- and that is disputable. For some reason, I wanted to fight someone and I had it in for this one guy that was a year older than I. Billy Juhaz lived up the street and one day he was playing baseball out in the street with our mutual friends. As I was riding my bike down the hill past their game, he yelled at me that my mom had been calling me home for dinner. I said something like, "I know, ya faggot!" I got off my bike as he walked over. When he got close, I swung a left hook that connected with him. Shocked, he said, "What'd ya do that for?" I shrieked back, "Cuz I hate ya!" And then we raised our fists and started slugging it out. I remember hearing David McNeal remark how we were standing toe to toe with each other and just exchanging blows to each other's face. My sister's boyfriend, Wesley, was sitting on our front porch, smiling at this fight that I'd told him I was going to start. Eventually we were wrestling on the ground and my mom came out and started screaming at us to stop. By the time she got close enough to break it up, I jumped up and yelled, "The champ!" Billy looked at me and said something like, "Whatever!" (though I'm sure that wasn't it, because that phrase wasn't in vogue in 1976.) It was more like a draw, and that was the closest I've ever come to winning a real fistfight. Oh well. My mom made me go to his house later and apologize. His parents made him do the same. I'm glad I didn't get wholly blamed for that fight, because his braces might've gotten damaged. We became friends and hung out a little bit after that.
I don't remember any more fights until I was in junior high. One kid in my home room, Sidney Pollino, "called me out," (which I learned was the phrase to use back then in that place, kinda like "Will you go with me?" was the way to ask a girl to go steady...) and I met him after school. We were duking it out and he was getting the better of me when an adult walked up and broke up the fight, yelling at us and forcing us to separate and walk away. Sidney described me as a bruised and bloody mess, I think, because when his friends saw me the next morning, they acted like he was lying, "He doesn't look that bad!"
8th grader Roger Bolles threatened me when I was in seventh grade for throwing my rolled up gym shirt and shorts at him on the bus. "You do that again and I'll kick your (bleep)!" I proceeded to laugh and do it again. I faced off with him in the middle of a circle of about 4 or 5 friends at the bus stop. He connected with my face with about every punch and I pretty much only swung at the air. We never had a problem with each other before or since.
In 8th grade a classmate, whom I later learned was an instigator and troublemaker, asked me a question about Tom Porter not being at our school anymore. "If he was here, I'd kick his (bleep)!" I proclaimed. This guy (I think his name was Todd ... thanks a lot, Todd) lived close to Tom, and he told him the next day what I'd said. I was over at my friend Tommy Lovelace's house when Tom arrived on his bicycle. We played some football together and at some point he told me what Todd said. "Did you say that?" he asked me. I lied. I told him that I hadn't said that. I was pretty confident that I wouldn't be able to live up to my boast, so I backed down by lying. I remember him scrunching up in anticipation of my tackle on a play later on, which made me feel better about being a lying and inferior fighter. I have to say, though, I respect the guy for coming to me to defend his honor. As much as I thought of him as a simple-minded bully type, you've gotta respect someone that'll do that. If I could do it all over again, I'd fess up to him that I'd said such and such, but also tell him that I was sorry and didn't want to fight, and it'd be nice to pay him the respect he was due for his actions.
In high school there was only 2 or 3 opportunities to fight, as I obviously never looked for them. Two were with the same guy. He was the older brother of my best friend. Both times I backed down from him. The second time was in the cafeteria when we were taking a test on the football team. I think all the offensive players had to show that they knew the plays in our playbook. This guy, Mike Z, quietly threatened me. I'm not sure anyone else overheard, but if our defensive coordinator overheard, I kind of wish I would have stood up to the guy, because I could've scored "bravery" points.
The other high school fight opportunity came from another older brother of a friend. I had been out with my friends on a friday night. We had been partying in his car and stopped by the school parking lot to check out the high school dance that was going on after a football game. While walking across the parking lot, I spied a pair of Lightning Bolt sandals that I really liked. Since they were abandoned in the parking lot, I took them with me to the car. As we were preparing to leave, a California Highway Patrolman stationed in the parking lot approached the car. He asked me to return the sandals I took, as he'd watched the owner leave them there and then saw me take them. I returned them, while the police officer noticed the smell of marijuana around the car. He searched the vehicle, found a bag of weed and a bong. He confiscated both, arrested one of my friends (the rest of us split, I recall). His older brother, Chris C, blamed me for losing this expensive contraband and approached me with a threat in my neighborhood one day soon after. He said he'd heard me real bad -- "put you in the hospital" type damage, he said, unless I paid him back. Even though I was in shape and physically fit, I was fearful of taking on someone else with unknown fighting abilities. Another friend and I went to the parking lot of the nearby commisary/base exchange, where there was a hose and water faucet and washed cars one saturday. Since the senior class students often did fund-raiser car washes there, many passersby assumed that this was one of those, and we did some brisk business. I pocketed $35 and later gave it to Chris C and his friend, who visited my house, I assume, to back up his threat if I didn't pay up. One of our teachers at school had even caught wind of this extortion and he told me not to dare pay this guy any money, but to avoid the possibility of physical harm, I backed down.
While part of me regrets not facing the danger and fighting these guys, I am also fairly respectful of the increased risk involved when young men fight. The potential for lasting physical damage is greater. For better or worse, this is how it happened and I'm here now. I'm not proud to admit I was a coward, but just like your victories, you can forget and get past your defeats.
Posted by Doug Van Pelt at January 5, 2009 10:56 AMMY---YOUR MOTHER LEARNS MORE THINGS ABOUT YOU!!
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