Doug Van Pelt

Hardcore Horror

Okay, so I'm on vacation and I get a link to a news story and there it is... A picture of a friend of mine staring at me wearing his orange prison coveralls. It's really just a head and shoulder shot, but it reaks of a prison "booking" photo. He doesn't look happy. He looks healthy and in good shape; which, for not seeing this old friend for several years, was a good sight. But the news was gnarly and quite horrific...at least in the "this is my friend and he's in big trouble" kind of horror. It's not like he murdered seventeen teenagers at a summer camp in the woods or anything, but it's a sex crime and judging by the accusations in the article, he's in big trouble.

It's kinda weird how sometimes news like this is reported with little to no regard for this person's privacy, rights, or family members' feelings. But the thinking is (I guess): 'When you abuse and deny the rights of others and violate them, then you no longer deserve any rights.' There is a point there, and perhaps public shaming is effective as a deterent to certain crimes... I guess the article just seemed to cross the line and get too graphic.

Knowing my friend and his past and his flesh's ability to dive into wickedness, this doesn't surprise me that it could happen. That he was married and had a kid the last time I saw him and his life is now so drastically changed for the worse is a shock, but the depravity of man is nothing new or too shocking to believe.

One point in all of this, of course, is that you sometimes need to keep yourself from being shocked or at least showing it. For example, if someone comes to you to confess something, he or she might have picked you to trust their secret with because they're hoping you won't freak out on them and react in a foolish rush-to-judgment. So, if someone confesses something "ugly" or whatnot, it's good to be able to remain calm and remember that you're dealing with a human being ... and that love is more powerful than any sin.

Now, there is a context for harsh words and confrontation and all of "that," but a scenerio of confession and brokenness is probably not the harsh, yelling and confronting time and place. I like to think of God as being someOne Who never panics. Things may get gnarly and He might have yelled at Moses or in front of him, but I don't think He ever lost control and hit the panic button. I'm not saying stoicism is the best way. I'm just saying that not reacting out of knee-jerk emotion and/or fear is usually more harmful than helpful.

Now, back to my friend. Wow. This is the guy that fasted and prayed for me that Summer a long time ago. He actually wept over the condition of my soul. He cared about me and God kinda used him to help draw me back to Him. I was like a prodigal son that 'came home' to the Father, and this friend was like my guide. It's a trip that he's (apparently, judging by the accusations of the crimes he was busted for) not walking with Jesus and letting his love for God rule his life and everyday actions. It hurts to see a close friend harm themself ... and it's a disappointment to know of the joy of the Lord and to think that your friend is possibly rejecting this Person called Christ and/or His joy ... or somehow walking in a period where his heart is not close to God the Father and not being obedient to that trusted Guide/Savior/Heavenly Father.

When this happens to someone you know, it gives you pause. It also is a time where you realize you have no control over the person (like you did at any time anyway...) and that you have to "let go" and leave them in God's care. At this point, your prayers are like intercession. There's some cool principles in that word.

I like to think that if anyone is bent out of shape over another person's behavior, that if this bent person would bend their knees and use that twisted energy to pray for, call out to God for, and possibly even align your heart to the place where you'd almost ask God "to switch places" with 'em. I think that's an extreme concept and I'm not advocating actually telling God that kind of thing, but approaching that point with that kind of love is powerful.

It's ironic that a very memorable quote in this regards came to me from this friend who's now in trouble. He was my roommate in my college years for a time and I was getting on him about something. I was probably trying to be a caring but rebuking friend about some behavioral thing or something. He told me something so simple and profound, though. He said: "Why don't you be very quiet about my problem around me; and very LOUD about my problem with God?"

Wow. I want to live that kind of motto.

Posted by Doug Van Pelt at October 9, 2008 12:07 AM