March 21, 2008
Death of a possum
The interns sometimes miss all the good stuff.
So, yesterday I was working a typical Thursday latenight and especially later due to deadline workload. Around dusk my dog (Biscuit Buddy McGillicutti) signalled to me that he needed to go outside. As I opened the door, I noticed the American flag was still up. As I was taking it down, I noticed the dog had spotted something and was running like a rocket to chase it down. Apparently the animal stayed put, kind of backed up to the fenceline that borders the road by our HM ranch. It looked like a dark tabby cat from where I was. I started talking to it, calling out as if it spoke English, then I made a few kissing sounds.
Yeah, I'm a tough farmer/country type, I know. As I got closer, I realized it wasn't a cat. I bet it was a possum. Probably the one or one of the ones that have been habitating underneath the building that houses our office. Sure enough, it was a possum. Man, it looked just like the one that a friend of mine pulled out (dead) from underneath our place a few years ago, all dead and smelly. These things have a long, pointy snout and web-like fingers or claws on each paw. A very long, skinny tail, kind of like an overgrown rat meets an anteater. A wild looking beast. It has lots of sharp-looking teeth, too. This guy stood his ground, held his mouth open to reveal its teeth and kind of hissed like a cat or something: "haaahhhh ... haaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!"
I had recently purchased a bb pistol, but didn't think that'd kill such an animal. I tried to think of what I could grab that would kill it. I asked my dog to stay put and keep the animal there. I didn't want it to escape and lose this opportunity to get rid of one of the pests that damages and stinks up our office. My dog turned and tried to follow me a couple of times. I don't think he wanted any piece of that fiesty animal. I commanded him to stay and "sick 'em." I actually had to run back in the house, where the pistol was, and don my shoes. I had tip-toed out to this spot on the grass in my socks, but if I was going to do battle with a ferocious animal, I wanted some shoes on. I grabbed a sharp, four-pronged hoe from our shed, along with a tall T-post. I donned a pair of gloves, and hoped that I didn't miss. It stayed there, alright. I imagined missing or having this little critter attack my ankles or, more likely, run away. When I decided upon the hoe as my weapon, I tossed the T-post about 5-10 yards away from the guy. I knew that the noise of that heavy post hitting the ground might send him running, but thankfully it did not. I said a little prayer, asking for God's help. I imagined missing on my first swing could turn into a barnyard fiasco, with lots of running around and such. I told the dog to back off and I swung that hoe up above my head and brought it down with all my might and my best aim. I didn't see it impact. I guess I closed my eyes with all the straining of muscles in the quick action. The prongs did not stick into his flesh, so I thought I might've missed him. He started flopping around like I'd severed his spinal cord or damaged his brain, though. I swung as hard as I could several more times, trying to pierce him like a fork. After four or five swings, the hoe/spike/four-pronged part of the weapon had fallen off. I wasn't sure if I broke the wooden handle near the end or not. I tossed the hoe, used my gloved right hand to pick it up by his tail. I was worried that he'd be alive and mad enough to swing around and try to scratch and bite me. Fortunately, though, he was dead. I walked him over to my barrel, which was burning trash. My dog jumped up once and got some of the animal in his mouth. I told him "No," but couldn't stop the motion. Poor dog got some blood on him. There was a fairly steady trickle of blood from the possum's mouth and a pinkish looking thing was hanging out. I knew it couldn't be brain matter, but it surprised me at first. It was his long tongue hanging out. I tossed him in the barrell and let his carcas burn. If there's any left next week, I'll put some propellent on it and burn it to ashes.
I've posted some drawings of the event for your amusement. You can print these out, cut 'em into 3x5 cards and make it a little flip-book if you'd like. I'm hoping to see someone show up at Cornerstone with one of these this year. Ha ha.
wow thats awsome... bnut why a bb gun? its texas! :P
Posted by: hannah at March 21, 2008 04:17 PMnext time use the t-pole and smash his skull
Posted by: solomon at March 21, 2008 06:09 PMAhh.. SO you are the "Possum Killer "..Love the drawings..
Posted by: tornado at March 22, 2008 04:23 AMAre you kidding me???? Why am I the only person that doesn't find any humor WHAT-SO-EVER in beating a wild animal to death? And then mock it's death in a cartoon? The animal was helpless, and had no defense. The opossum ~ North America's only marsupial (female has a pouch) mammal... would've posed no harm at all if the dog would've been brought indoors to give the animal wide berth enough to go about it's own business that night. Mankind is encroaching and destroying the earth's ecosystems at an alarming rate. The least we could do, is educate ourselves about the local wildlife that we're blessed to have around us in central Texas, and help save, protect, and marvel at the last remaining creatures that we can truly classify as being "wild." Read up on North America's only marsupial at http://www.opossum.org/.
Posted by: steven white at March 26, 2008 09:26 PMHilarious and quite entertaining! Much more so than my research paper over acculturation.
Posted by: Amanda at March 26, 2008 11:04 PMseems like i ruffled a feather. i have good reason to have killed that possum ... and i'll kill more possums if/when i get the chance. they're living under our office and making it smell really bad. if someone would volunteer to come and catch them and release them at least two miles away, have at it. otherwise, i'll handle it by whatever means necessary. i like animals, i love them, in fact, but apparently not in the same way as everyone.
Posted by: Doug at March 27, 2008 09:55 AMAll you have to do is follow Jesus and not be lazy. Stop all openings up to the building. If you want someone to remove them call me, but I need to talk to Texas parks and wildlife first.
The problem is not so much that you killed a opossum but that you gloryed in its death and did a cartoon on it. That is unchristian and wrong. You are setting a bad example to younger people. If you really love animals you would not have done the cartoon and been sorry you did what you had to do.
Well, I think you did what needed to be done. You definitely have some mad art skills goin on. ;) Too bad I can't make it to Cornerstone this summer!
Posted by: Brittany at March 28, 2008 11:23 PMTaking pleasure in killing an animal is a sign of a sociopath. Also, you profess to be a Christian. Is it the practice of "good Christians" to ask His help to kill one of his creatures? As for those who find this amusing, take a look in the mirror. You are looking at someone who needs help.
Posted by: civilized at March 31, 2008 12:27 PMYou critics and judgers of other people's spirituality might have a point,
but consider this:
You could be making "a mountain out of a mole hill" and micro-judging someone. To jump out of your buggy and start ranting at someone -- well, you better have a good reason. It better be an argument and a rant worth having. I won't hold it against you, because I have wasted my own time on worthless or petty pursuits, too. For the Christian, you've probably been turned off by this kind of behavior (People that get all up in arms about U2, questioning whether they're Christians when "Rattle & Hum" comes out ... instead of sitting back and looking at that artist's body of work, they wrongly judged "R&H" as "secular." Oh brother!). So why participate yourself? It's your choice. Even if I had a different attitude about a topic, I'm sure I would have chosen not to battle over this one.
For the non-believer: If you're using this as a reason to reject the claims of Christ as the Messiah, that's just sad.
For the record, I like to share stories about what happens in my life on this blog from time to time. I didn't have any photos, so I drew (very crudely, with my "mad skills" as an artist) a depiction to offer a visual. In my mind, it's not a "cartoon" by any stretch. But, in fairness to my lovely critics, yeah, these could be called cartoons.
It's odd that I recently participated in something really newsworthy and interesting; but this possum story has garnered much more posts than any from the Bloggers' Tour to Uganda.
You know, farmers and "country folk" have a really different way of looking at animals -- possums and skunks in particular. They have a different perspective than what's really been reflected in most of these posts.
PSS Taking pleasure in killing an animal IS a sign of a sociopath. That is true. If you're keeping score on me, you've got 1 point now. To label me as that is, of course, extremely premature and quick-rush-to-judgment. Funny (to you and those that agree with your assessment of this possum killing blog), but certainly not rational. Did I take pleasure in killing the possum? No. I killed it. I talked about it. I drew pictures. Did I think it was funny? Yes, in the "unusual thing that happened to me" sort of way, nothing more.
Posted by: Doug at April 1, 2008 08:44 AMThe farmers and country people when they kill a opossum do it because they might get in the hen house and even then they dont make a cartoon out of it and go ha ha then ask people to make copys of glorying in the death. Thats the real problem. The old ranchers and law inforcement would all agree that a little sick.
kudos on the Uganda deal , but dont hide behind it. Some of us love you enough to tell you the truth.
God is the creator, His eye is on the sparrow as well as the opossum. Not a sparrow falls that he does not know about it. Now he loves the children the Most, If we have to pick over a child or a opossum, sparrow etc etc the human being comes first, But we dont want to hide behid the children or religion ( religion is crap, Jesus is the way )
Jesus loves you Doug and he wants you to be mature and not glory in the the death of a defenseless animal.
Love you
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