In this entry McManus discusses the drive we have in us.
"All of us, at the very least, want to create a better life, a better future, a better us. When we surrender these aspirations, we find ourselves drowning in apathy and atrophy."
I have an immediate recognition when I hear talk like this. I have an immediate thought when I see a movie that's inspiring. I think about the book I'm writing. I have to finish it. I have to get it out. I have to see if I can get it listed on a Sports best-seller list they print in ESPN the Magazine. That's a goal I have. I'd like to see this book/novel become a movie or tv show. My longings for its completion are great. It's a burning, churning sensation that drives me onward. It's the kind of "oomph!" that would propel me on in a long-distance run or job, a passion inside that says, "The pain is acceptable -- a means to an end." I battle the frustration of my daily duties getting in its way.
I also have to consistently surrender it to the Lord. Sometimes I don't even want to. There's a hidden fear that if I give an inch to any obstacle, it will spell my defeat. I know that I know that I can trust God, though. Even if I had to suffer total defeat and humiliation, at least He would be there. Even if He made Himself absent for some reason, I could even hold on to the memories I have of Him. I've had experiences in my life in the small amount of the presence of God that I've been priveleged to have. If I had to go through a desert experience or absence of the Lord phase, I would be able to hold on to some sweet memories. Memories are not as good as the present presence, and like emotions they are not tangible, per se, but they can serve as sort of an anchoring mechanism in our hearts and minds.
I also believe that to resist the call to surrender can turn something -- even a good thing -- into an idol. A passionate pursuit of a dream is a wonderful thing, but there are un-measured doses of reality and the wise order of priority that need to be acknowledged. This causes an inner frustration, but also a sense of peace. I so want to be on the other side of this mountain, and I don't relish the pain and hard work to get up to the peak and over, but here I am nevertheless.
What dreams do you have?