Doug Van Pelt

Hope, Where Art Thou?

I have to admit, I've felt very hopeless today (Monday). My motherboard crashing/getting fried with a power surge did something awful -- it forced me to re-install 4 of my most-used programs: Adobe InDesign and Adobe PhotoShop (part of the Creative Suite package, along with Illustrator, Distiller, Acrobat); and Outlook and Word (from the MicroSoft Office package). Going to my folder and finding my 16 or 20 digit serial number/key allowed me to activate the version of Office that the emachine computer had installed on it, so that wasn't too bad to get active. Getting Outlook to import my previous address book and oh-so-important emailes I've filed away (details of a marketing trade, the contact for a publicist, or ideas about an article, for example). This became a challenge that ate away at my entire day.

Well, prior to that, I was obssessing with finding my Creative Suite discs. My wife wisely told me to set that aside and work on something else (as I thought it might be located in my garage at home). That was good advice. At 9:30pm I finally left the office, trying to be satisfied with the progress I'd made with Outlook. It's hard when you're frustrated to sense hope, to feel it, to grasp an emotion or thought-process to lift your spirit out of the depressed funk of your troubles. Dang! You can't fake hope. Hope isn't just an emotion. It's a state of mind, which effects the emotions and spirit of a man.

Just hearing Scripture, like John Thompson reading out of Corinthians in the new HM podcast, does a lot in that effort. Having someone offer some balance, like my wife offered me, is valuable. Laughing with a friend, like I finally did on the way home from work with a phone call, is also invaluable. Anything to break out of the despair of my problem. Yes, computers are a small, insignificant thing -- especially compared to real life issues -- but when my livelihood is challenged, I can get stressed.

I feel better, but I spent an hour or more pouring through my garage (even checking that filing cabinet I thought they'd be in), but to no avail. I'm not sure what I can do or am going to do with the challenges I face.

I need to get those Adobe programs loaded.
I need to wrap up my preparations for the talks I'm giving at Cornerstone.
I need to get the door lock fixed on our trailer before we can even leave for the fest.
We need to pack all the stuff we need for the festival.
All of this stuff can be stressful on their own, but to face it all now is a drag.

"...as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as imposters; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything."

Wow. I'm not "commending myself," but I appreciate this passage of Scripture. I like the fact that it's real. It doesn't try to say, "the Christian's life is one of true happiness and smiles." It doesn't pretend or try to live a lie. I want to somehow be rejoicing in the midst of whatever...

Posted by Doug Van Pelt at June 27, 2006 12:58 AM