Doug Van Pelt

Flight 93

I rec'd a "screener" copy of the Fox movie, Flight 93, about the people involved in that hijacked plane on September 11th that went down in rural Pennsylvania. From the start of that day, to newscasts of the World Trade Center and Pentagon, to the fiery end, the personal stories and the terrible action, a realistic viewpoint is captured (and edited well). My wife didn't really want to watch it with me last night, because she knew it would be gut-wrenching. but I told myself that I had to watch it before it hit theaters this Friday, or the uniqueness of having a "screener" would be lost. (so funny and silly am I sometimes...). I imagine that some people in crowded theaters this weekend might freak out. It is very emotional and the idea of an enemy from the Middle East doing so much damage to our country is provoking. I'd hate to be such a person in the theater sitting in front of a redneck or other such volatile personality. This movie brings the tragedy home again. I think it's a good thing that we as a country don't forget what happened; and I'm baffled as to why the media apparently collectively agreed not to air any more 9/11 footage; and it seems almost proper that we would be forced to deal with the Middle East at this time. God's people were originally placed in the Middle East. God's chosen weren't white Europeans. It's foolish to think that we are uniquely His... It is no surprise that we're forced to mingle with and try to untangle if possible the mess that is that region. Perhaps it is the Last Days and/or perhaps it is repercussions of previous wrongs done over there.

xxx

The juxtaposition of my puppy in the morning -- 11-month old Biscuit bounding and wagging his tail as joy bursts from his small body -- and my tired, still-waking-up body and brain reminds me of the difference between the joy and life of the Spirit and my corrupted self. There's a certain unwillingness to "enter in" that needs to be willfully overcome.

In chapter 5 Rees Howells is confronted in a serious way about the Holy Spirit's role and place in his life. I can relate to how cost-counting and serious this decision to surrender to God's Spirit can be. I'm a little put off by the somewhat superficial and experiential way the "baptism of the Holy Ghost" is presented sometimes. I believe that "speaking in tongues" is a real gift to be experienced and received today. I even believe that the so-called "slain in the Spirit" thing is real (though I've never experienced it). But all I can say is that for me, asking Jesus to "baptize me in the Holy Spirit" wasn't some kind of cheerleading event, like I've witnessed before. It wasn't even emotional. It was one of those "gulp, do I really want to do this?" moments, where I paused and counted the cost. For me it meant I was going to forever be "on call," like a doctor or nurse with a pager, and the Lord might wake me up in the middle of the night or call me out of some other "comfort zone" to do something for Him and others. I remember the soberness of that moment like it was yesterday. I'm not saying that my life has been a "wild ride" since that moment, or that it is ever full of "divine appointments" and miracles, but I still want to be counted on as a servant of the Spirit, obeying Him when He calls.

I've found that my self is still the same old character -- selfish and desiring to ever serve self. But at least it's fairly easy to hear the Lord's voice. Whenever I listen to His "still small voice" in my head and get instructions to act in a way that's out of my comfort zone, I don't pretend that it's my self/flesh/imagination speaking -- cuz that's not the direction I naturally want to travel in. I doubt that it's the enemy of our souls, either. I can say from experience, though, that any time I step out and obey, endeavoring to be used by the Lord in service to other people (which it almost always is), it is a very rewarding and fulfilling experience. If I was chasing joy and happiness, this is a paradoxical way to get it, but it'd be the way.

xxx

This morning I'll be packing my "office at home" desk and computer and setting it up at the HM Ranch. I'm kind of excited. Working out of my home the last four months have had its benefits, but this "new" environment should be cool.

Posted by Doug Van Pelt at April 27, 2006 07:04 AM