That's kinda how I felt as my car was skidding into a collision as well as when I was flipping. I wanted to deny that it was all happening. Once it happened, all I could do was be thankful that I was okay. But these feelings of regret -- and wishing it hadn't happened -- are ever present. It's harder to let it go and move on at first, I guess. Sometimes these things take time to process.
Psalm 125 says:
"Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion,
which cannot be shaken but endures forever.
As the mountains surround Jerusalem,
so the Lord surrounds his people both now and forevermore."
I believe that. I trust that this is true. And at times like this I am clinging to Him and the Truth that He is trustworthy and safe. Being in a car accident or any mishap can be a reminder that we are not in complete control. We have a great degree and measure of control, responsibility, and potential. I think God's plan of slightly "hands off" our lives is brilliant (and perfect), as he allows His creation to exercise their free will and do amazing things (and some bad things). Without that ability, just like children, we wouldn't grow.
As long as I hold on to this, 'Man! I wish that hadn't happened,' I'm probably not going to grow (at least like I should), but accepting the reality that my car is smashed, my driving record is blemished, my emotions are shaken, and all that stuff. It happened. It's a shock, but we will carry on.
And with the poverty and the emergency situation in Africa*, I've got nothing to complain about!
(* Every day another 6,300 people die in Africa of AIDS - and everyday another 8,500 Africans contract the disease. This is an astounding figure that's hard to believe, but lives are being lost.)
I am very blessed.
Posted by Doug Van Pelt at May 24, 2005 09:43 AMur car went off the enbankment, is that right?
did ur life flash before ur eyes or something?
there was a special on Larry King that nite bout cheating death. it was interesting.