1. "Don't have any other gods before Me. Unless, of course, he's really cool or he breaks a sports record or something..."
2. "Don't make an idol and worship it. Same exceptions as above apply, and the same goes if she's a beautiful lady."
3. "Don't misuse the Name of the Lord. This doesn't apply if you hit your thumb with a hammer, get a finger caught in a car door, or other such moments where it really hurts, man."
4. "Keep the Sabbath Day holy. Rest one day a week. But, if you're stressed out about something or you're obsessed about cleaning that thing, then go ahead and work..."
5. "Honor your father and your mother. Unless, of course, if they do something wrong."
6. "Don't kill anyone. This doesn't mean you can't cuss at them or beat them up really bad..."
7. "Don't have sex with another person's spouse. Kissing, holding hands and that Clinton/Lewinsky thing don't count, of course."
8. "Do not steal. But switching the price tags isn't really stealing, then, is it?"
9. "Don't lie. Little 'white lies,' of course, do not count."
10. "Don't get jealous of and wish you had your neighbor's house, wife, servants, or any of their stuff. Being jealous of their status, though, that's okay..."
Posted by Doug Van Pelt at November 5, 2004 08:04 AM