August 31, 2004
Death and Beer
A couple weeks ago (gosh, it's been about 3 weeks now...time flies) my wife and I worked late at the office. Her computer had been out of commission, so we had to use another computer here to add and tabulate the mailing list so the printer would know who to mail the magazines to. I had the kids with me here, and I put them to work organizing merchandise (sizing and rolling up all our new "Worship At Full Volume" tshirts). They were so excited to actually get paid. Fun stuff. I left home with them about 8pm or so. Charlotta stayed behind to finish, because it had to get done that night. She's such a trooper. She's my hero!
On the way home, past the zebras, doe, elk, and multi-point bucks (I'm guessing 25-30...how do they hold their heads up?), we saw many flashing lights. It looked like there were two fire trucks, an ambulance, and a couple police cars. We had the option, fortunately, of turning North right before the accident scene. When Charlotta left over two hours later, she ran into the same situation. The road was still blocked off and a ton of cars were there. When we found out my wife (the nurse) told me that the rescue people probably didn't clear the scene until the coroner got there. Someone died. It was at least two guys in a pickup truck and one of them was crawling from the passenger window to the bed of the truck and fell. Very sad.
A couple days later around noon I was going to meet someone for lunch and I saw a young man parked by the site (which now had a cross, a pole with a "dream catcher" hanging from it, and another pole with a wreath). He was sitting down with his legs crossed in front of the shrine, looking like he was "talking" to his departed friend. I wanted to stop and offer an awkward, "If there's anything I can do" statement, but there was traffic behind me and it didn't feel too appropriate. I slowed down and stopped on repeat trips by the site and have read messages written in Sharpee on the white painted wood. Just yesterday I stopped by for an updated look and saw a beer can, a pack of cigarettes, and a beer bottle.
While it's touching to see commradery like that, with friends maybe placing his favorite brand of cigs there... it's sad at the same time. While alcohol and tobacco sometimes get tagged with the "evil" and "sinister" labels (in some cases deservedly so), they are minor blips on some people's life radar screen -- diluted poison that's ingested in minute amounts and a tolerated habit of some good hearted people. Having said that (just to be balanced), I think it's sad that someone would have a symbol of an addictive substance or two placed on their memorial site. Honesty sometimes begs for an accurate picture or symbol, but these symbols can give off a sad tone to the outside observer.
Context is 95% of the story, I'm sure. What brings a hint of sadness is also the idea that tomfoolery and perhaps drunkenness played a role in the tragic death of this young man. It's one thing to imagine a memorial to CS Lewis featuring one of his favorite cigars and a bottle of his favorite beer; but quite another to see a can of Budweiser next to the memorial of a 18-20 year old young man that was killed in an act of apparent stupidity.
Sometimes commentaries like this can be viewed as eternal damnations and short-sighted judgments on a life they don't understand. Making any statement at all can be construed this way... That's the shortcomings of commentary. The sadder tale is that a circle of friends are now grappling with the loss of a friend whose life was ended so quickly a few weeks ago. My prayer is that these people would be able to grieve openly and deeply, and that the Holy Spirit, Whom Jesus affectionately referred to as "the Comforter," would be right there in their midst, doing His stuff.
Posted by Doug Van Pelt at August 31, 2004 09:17 AM