I was at a retreat for a college fellowship way back when and during a worship time I had a vivid picture in my head of Jesus on the cross. He was in agony. I'd heard that He perhaps had to dislocate His shoulders to take a breath (not sure if that's true), at worst having to push up on His feet (and that spike) in order to inhale a breath, which led to eventual suffocation (more reasonable explanation). His back was full of open wounds, pouring blood, pus, and bits of flesh being rubbed raw by the coarse wood of the cross. Pure agony. Well, I was lifting my hands in praise, just worshiping Him and praising Him for what He was doing and He looked down at me . . . and smiled.
I related this to the group after worship time and everyone looked at me with very unimpressed looks on their faces, almost a patronizing look of, 'That's nice, Doug,' and carry on. I was somewhat bummed that no one else seemed to get it. In my naiveity I prefaced what I saw with the line, "I had this impression in my imagination, where I saw..." I wasn't spiritual astute enough to call it a vision (and whenever I share this, I hear a Scripture rebuking those who "boast about visions seen," and it's hard to even share a vision, somehow in my mind I falsely equate sharing with boasting. Whatever.). Anyway, the main impact to me of the whole thing was how, in the midst of that pain -- that sheer agony -- Jesus was able to see forward about 2,000 years and see my worship, my redemption, and it made Him forget about the pain for a second and smile.
Sure, maybe it was just one of those moments in my mind that was just for me (probably the case, cuz I've never shared this with anyone that got anything out of it...oh well), but that burned an impression in me that I'm important to God. Of course, I am just one of billions of people that He created that are equally as important to Him, but that personal connection (I think) means so much to each of us. And that little "vision" sure brought that point home to me.
I've been trying to get a head start on some of my reviews (DVDs and CDs), as well as some "Hard News" gathering; all the while making sure I'm doing what I can to make this issue's ad sales plentiful. Tomorrow night is my oldest daughter's birthday. She'll be 8. It's also the P.O.D./Linkin Park show in San Antonio. That'd be a show I'd love to see. I heard one report today that a show in Oklahoma was solid -- a great "rock show."
The second chapter in The Purpose Driven Life reinforces the concept that God created you and that you were no accident. The memory verse (let's see if I can remember) says: "I am your creator. You were in my care even before you were born." (Isaiah 44:2) Whew! It helps to repeat it right after reading/memorizing it. I wonder how long it'll stay in my head...
This is almost impossible to fathom -- the concept of pre-destination. I haven't had much of a problem with it, because understanding that God is outside of time and doesn't experience it from the same perspective as us kinda helps me get my brain wrapped around it. The trouble I have is the part in the book that talks about every detail, even the moment of our death is planned out. My brain wants to protest and say, 'Wait a minute! I have the ability to crash my car with the flick of a wrist here.' I think I can make choices that are out of His will. I think the consequences of those choices have to be dealt with and, of course, someone outside of time could see that coming... Definitely a tangent and not what the author here is emphasizing, which is really probably the framework and foundation that God has a purpose and a will for our lives. We are no accident (even if our parents didn't plan for us). We are formed in the womb by the hand of God -- that's another one hard to fathom. I agree with the book, but am already thinking, 'Yeah, yeah, show me something I don't know already.'
--#81
Posted by Doug Van Pelt at February 24, 2004 10:26 AM