September 22, 2003
Are You A Satanist?
"No," I replied, as I silently gave myself a pretend pat on the back.
"I am working deep undercover as one, though. My plan is a secret, so don't go blabbing this around, but: On Halloween Night I have access to the largest coven meeting in the southwest (outside of Austin in Elgin...what did you think those sausages were made out of?). During the most unholy of nights for the satanists all over Central Texas, Oklahoma, New Mexico, and Southern California (Louisianna has their own meeting...not sure why), I will be in the 'inner circle.' At a half-hour before midnight, when the virgin is to be sacrificed, I'm going to start unleashing 'love bombs,' where I'm going to go around hugging everyone and sharing the Gospel. If this doesn't work, I have a cache of weapons duct-taped to my body underneath the black robe. Like they always say, 'If love doesn't work, guns will.'
"I know this is going to work. So far, my cover is working; so don't blow it for me."
